Extenuating Circumstances
by anythinglikeiwrite
Summary: Without another word, she walked away, passing by him so closely he had to step back. Voight looked at him, the look on his face surprising as there was a hint of what Jay thought was amusement there. All he could do was bite his tongue, pretend to act surprised when he really wasn't.
1. Chapter 1

"So, it's your birthday tomorrow," Erin asked, snapping him out of his thoughts. Jay looked up at his partner, wondering where she was going with this. He nodded, his hands brushing his thighs.

"You remembered," he told her. Truth be told, he was surprised she remembered. Sure, they were partners, but his birthday was easily one of his least favorite days of the year, and that was information very few people knew.

"How could I forget?" she replied. "It pops up on my Google calendar."

He wasn't surprised at that. Erin was weirdly obsessed with her calendars and he remembered the time he asked once on a stakeout and got more than he wanted to know.

"Yeah, supposedly the guys are throwing me like a surprise party at Molly's. You should come."

She nodded and silence fell between them once more. Things had been weird between them lately, hell it had been weird for everyone in the unit. The last few months had been nothing short of crazy and Jay was starting to get worried as Erin had flown off the rails in more than a few cases.

"So, I read this article, okay," he began, despite his brain telling him to shut up. "About this married couple that bought houses across the street from each other, and the guy would go over for dinner every night. They'd eat, they'd have sex, and then he'd go back, he'd work on his hotrod, and they made it work like that for like 42 years without getting divorced."

The look of skepticism on Erin's face told him he was an idiot. He had hoped that story would lighten the mood. They used to be great friends, always joking and this was one of their favorite games: telling each other weird news headlines and articles they'd read, always trying to one up each other.

"Okay," she told him, picking up her drink again. "If that's your ideal situation."

"I never said ideal," he replied, about to say more until the static of the radio interrupted him.

"_Units on the City Wide. We have a hold-up alarm at 680 North Michigan, North Schiller Credit Union. We're getting multiple calls of shots fired. Bank robbery in progress."_

Neither of them hesitated, Jay grabbing the radio as Erin through cash on the table to cover their breakfast.

"That's five blocks away," she told him as he headed out the door.

"5021 George, plain clothes officers responding," he radioed in, rounding the truck and quickly getting in. He heard the passenger door open before he could open his own, telling him Erin was right behind him.

The drive to the bank took less than five minutes before he was pulling up to the curb outside the bank. He could see people running out of the bank, some holding onto others, some looking for any kind of help.

"What happened?" Erin asked a man as he ran to them.

"They just went down Grand!" the guy told them. "On bikes."

"What do you mean? Like ten speeds?" he asked, drawing his gun as he surveyed the building in front of them.

"No, motorcycles," the guy said, pointing down the block as Erin ushered him to leave. He watched as she headed towards the building, pushing through people trying to run out.

"Lincoln 5021 emergency," she radioed. "Witnesses say that the suspects fled westbound on Grand Avenue on motorcycles."

He split off from her once they were inside, trying not to focus on the chaos around them. He found a body on the ground, a woman beside the man as he knelt down to check his pulse.

"Are you alright?" he heard Erin ask someone.

"They shot him multiple times," the woman beside Jay asked. The lack of a pulse told him everything he needed to know.

"Hey Erin," he yelled as his partner made her way to him. "He's gone."

"Are there any other offenders in the building?" she asked the woman. Jay stood, the woman following suit as he once again looked around at the people inside.

"No, but they shot the guard and they shot Jackie," she told Erin before motioning with her hand. "Come this way."

Erin followed, Jay right behind as he kept his guard up, despite getting confirmation there was no more offenders in the building.

"5021 George, we're inside the bank. Roll multiple ambos."

"_Copy that, 5021 George."_

They were led to one of the rooms in the back, multiple people on the ground, including one he assumed was Jackie.

"Ok, give me some room," Erin said, tending to Jackie as she clutched her thigh.

"I've got a female, white, 50 years of age, gunshot wound to the leg," he continued. "She's bleeding pretty bad."

Erin took the belt from her jacket, using it as a makeshift tourniquet to tie around her thigh.

"Let go, I got you" Erin told her, looking up at the woman. "Look at me, breathe, just breathe."

She shot a look at him, letting him know that the woman would be okay. Now all they had to do was find the guys responsible for this. They didn't have to wait long for the paramedics, as the heard the sirens outside minutes later. Knowing the woman was in good hands, Jay retreated back to the lobby, beginning to ask questions while they waited for Voight to arrive.

* * *

Jay saw Erin beside the gurney as they rolled the woman out, quickly falling in step himself.

"An officer will meet you at the hospital and he'll take you statement when you're ready," Erin told her. "You are going to be okay."

He spotted Voight behind Erin, walking towards them. It was clear that they caught the case and Jay didn't know where to begin.

"Hey, follow this rig to Med," she told an officer.

"Copy that," he responded.

"So, one wounded, one dead?" Voight asked them as they headed back to the bank.

"Yeah, security guard didn't make it," said Erin.

"Whoever did this came in heavy," he added. "They hit the tellers, they hit the vault. Vanished on motorcycles with over 150 grand, according to the manager."

"He say whether they handed out dye packs, GPS trackers?" Voight questioned.

"Haven't gotten that far yet," he told his boss, following him and Erin into the bank lobby.

"Sergeant," an officer began. "A witness saw one of the offenders drop this when they were fleeing. I got no idea what it is."

"Oh, it's a cell jammer," Voight answered before around. "Bag it as evidence."

He took the jammer from the officer, glancing at it for a better look.

"And make sure you got a copy of everyone's ID that you interviewed so far," he heard Voight say.

"Yes sir," the officer responded, his attention still on the jammer.

"I need you outside to move the yellow tape back 50 yards and roll in the crime lab."

No, it couldn't be. Jay knew that voice from anywhere and he didn't expect her. He heard the officer start to argue, a small voice in his head feeling sorry for the guy because he was going to lose.

"Now," she said, her voice soft and commanding, a combination that seemed deadly, and since he didn't hear anything else, he knew she won that round.

Jay looked back then, watching both Voight and Erin look at her, confused and maybe a little pissed. He didn't miss the side eye she shot him before giving her attention to his boss.

"Detective Upton, Robbery-Homicide," she introduced herself, glancing to Erin after.

"Hank Voight, Intelligence," Voight said, clearly not wanting to give her anything else.

"Well, I appreciate the help, Sergeant, but as of now, this is my scene," Hailey told him. Jay stayed silent, watching the back and forth like it was an Olympic sport. He could see Erin developing a dislike for her, but in not Erin fashion, stayed silent.

"My team recovered evidence, saved a woman's life," Voight told her. "We're running point."

He shot a glance at her, hoping she would drop it. This was not a good time to get into it with Voight.

"Make sure those shell casings are photo'd, bagged and tagged," she ordered one of the officers on scene. Voight turned back to her then, the look on his face telling him this wouldn't end well.

"I've been after this crew for the last three weeks," she told him, once again shooting a glance his way.

"Huh, then why did my team respond first?" he asked her.

Jay tried to keep a straight face, as he became increasingly uncomfortable with this situation. But he knew it would take more than Voight's question to deter her.

"I'm from Robbery-Homicide," she told him. "There's been a robbery and a homicide here. So, I'd appreciate it if you vacated my crime scene."

Without another word, she walked away, passing by him so closely he had to step back. Voight looked at him, the look on his face surprising as there was a hint of what Jay thought was amusement there. All he could do was bite his tongue, pretend to act surprised when he really wasn't.

Because that was Detective Hailey Upton, Robbery-Homicide, his wife.


	2. Chapter 2

This wasn't happening, he thought. It was all he could think as they drove back to the district. Erin had gone off about Hailey and it took everything in him not to lose it at her. But there was no way he could do that without admitting that he was married and had been for close to four years, something very few people knew.

Jay was pretty sure he was dreaming when she walked into that bank because there was no way that his wife barged into a crime scene and told off his boss. But then again, it was possible, because he knew how she could be.

"Beautiful and stubborn," he murmured as he waited for the call to connect. He was hoping his C.I. could give him something on this cell jammer, something on this case. They needed to do something before Hailey showed up again.

Jay wouldn't lie, it turned him on to see her so commanding, especially while acting like they had no clue who they were. He'd never seen her on the job before, well since their patrol days, but damn.

Finally his C.I. answered, successfully getting his mind off of Hailey. He quickly wrote the information down, searching the name he got before hanging up, printing off the information he needed for Voight.

As he headed back upstairs, he could hear his sergeant explaining the case to the rest of the team. He walked over to the board as Voight finished his sentence.

"All right, I talked to an ex-burglar C.I. buddy of mine," he said, handing the cell jammer to Olinsky.

"He said the cell jammer came from Bucktown," he continued. "This is Jimmy Rickert, old school tech guy. He illegally imports cell jammers from China into the US and sells them through his electronics business to burglars."

"I was able to track the serial number from the supplier in Beijing. It was delivered, along with other jammers, to his storefront a month ago."

"Is there any sort of pattern to the types of banks that they're hitting?" Adam asked. He started to shrug, not knowing, until her voice once again startled him where he least expected it.

"Credit unions," Hailey said, causing his attention to snap towards the staircase. He watched everyone else's heads turn, finding Hailey walking up with Chief Lugo and Platt with her.

"They're targeting them downtown," she explained. "Lots of daily on-hand cash, but less security than the corporate branches. In the last few weeks, this crew's hit five banks and done over half a million in cash."

"Sorry for the interruption, Sergeant," Platt said, coming to stand beside Hailey.

"You get lost on your way back to Area Central?" Voight asked. Add this to the list of reasons why he's wanted to punch his boss. He felt himself stiffen as Chief Lugo stood beside him, also turning to look at Hailey. Jay watched as the fire in Hailey's eyes grew, a small laugh leaving her lips.

"You got balls trying to steal my case," she said, and in that moment, Jay was sure he was had never been prouder of her. However, the pride quickly turned to horror as he watched her step towards his boss and in the process, knocked into Platt, the coffee in her mug going all over her.

"Detective, that's enough," Chief Lugo said sharply, somehow reigning Hailey in. The regret on Hailey's face was visible to him, but he suspected to everyone else is was annoyance. He focused on Erin trying to help Platt, hoping to avoid anything else happening. He bit his lip once again, not wanting to say anything.

"Your office," Lugo said, summoning Voight and Hailey with him. He saw the look Voight shot at Hailey, but he knew she could handle it. She was fearless, more so than him sometimes.

He couldn't help himself from shooting her a sympathetic smile as she passed him. She quickly returned it, and he knew if anyone caught him, they would just assume he was being nice. Jay knew he would hear about this later, definitely from Hailey, likely from the rest of his team. For now, he just had to focus on this case, because the sooner it was over, the sooner he could pretend like he didn't know everything about the blonde detective from Robbery-Homicide.

* * *

In less than two hours, she managed to do a lot of damage to her reputation. That much Hailey knew, and now she stood inside Hank Voight's office, her brain trying to refocus on why she was really her, and not the fact that her husband was standing right outside the door.

It wasn't her intention to take over Intelligence's case when she woke up this morning. The only thing she had on her mind this morning was being able to give her husband an early birthday surprise, the kind that was still sitting in the bag in the back of their closet. Now, she was going toe to toe with Jay's boss, having already ruffled feathers with him, and now the front desk sergeant at the district.

She turned around as the door began to close, facing Voight and Chief Lugo, ready for whatever was about to happen.

"Chief," Voight said as the door closed behind them. She tried not to look out into the bullpen, where she could tell she had a good line of sight to Jay's desk.

"What's your pitch? I've heard hers," Chief Lugo began.

"This crew is hot, they're getting more brazen," Voight explained, and she couldn't argue with him there. "They're not just shooting cameras, they're killing people now. They need to be put down ASAP."

"And where are you at with this again?" Lugo asked, and Hailey knew she was about to lose this battle.

"I've been with this crew since day one. I feel like I'm getting close to identifying –" she began before getting cut off, her body going rigid as she heard Voight's voice.

"Close? You're five banks and two bodies behind them," he said before turning to Lugo. "Look, the solve rate in Intelligence is 90%. What's Robbery-Homicide? Maybe 20?"

Now she was pissed. There was no way she was going to stand her and let him belittle her unit and her capabilities with statistics, especially knowing one of the reasons their solve rate was so high was because of Voight's questionable methods.

"You're gonna throw stats at me?" she said, turning towards him as her blood raged. She couldn't get another word in before Lugo jumped back in.

"All right, Intelligence is taking the case," he said and without another word, Voight opened the door as the chief moved that way.

"Because he flexes his stripes?" she asked, not caring that Jay and his unit could probably hear her.

"You want me to flex mine?" Lugo asked, turning back to her. "I said what I said. Get your files to Voight."

Without another word, he walked away, leaving her in Voight's office feeling pissed and defeated. So not how she planned today to be.

"You know, I always heard you were a son of a bitch," she told him, her mind recalling rants from Jay before turning towards him. "Now I know it's true."

"Yeah, getting me those files would be great," he told her while not telling her to get the hell out of his office. She left, hearing the door shut behind her and feeling Jay's eyes following her down the stairs.

* * *

"So how was your day?" she heard him say as the front door opened. Hailey just chuckled to herself, getting up off the couch to go meet him halfway.

"Rough," she said honestly, stepping towards Jay to wrap him in a hug. She felt the tension from the day leave her the second his arms wrapped around her as he kissed her forehead.

"I feel that," he told her, pulling away to walk to the fridge. "This crazy detective from Robbery-Homicide showed up at my crime scene today, started throwing out orders. She was pretty hot, though."

"Yeah, yeah," she replied, taking a seat on one of the barstools by the island. "How bad was it? Be honest."

She watched as Jay turned around to face her, the concern and love he had for her clear as day on his face. Just looking at him had her close to tears, something that was rare for her. He knew that as much as she did, she rarely cried over her job.

He didn't say anything, abandoning the food he was setting out as he walked towards her, sitting down beside her. Jay took her hand in his, his thumb resting on her wrist, rubbing soft circles on her skin.

"Hails, you were as badass as ever," he told her. "And I'm not going to lie, I was really turned on today, watching you do something I've never had the balls to do."

"Shut up," she said, her smile betraying her words.

"Voight's rough when you meet him. You came in, guns blazing as I would expect. He's never really had someone question him as much as you did today. But I'm proud of you still."

"You're just saying that cause you're married to me," she told him, regretting asking him because the events of today replayed over and over in her mind.

"Well yes, I'm fairly biased," Jay said. "But me being proud of you is never going to change."

Hailey looked up at him then, smiling as his words settled in. She learned over, kissing him softly, needing this after the day they've had.

"I just want to forget about it all for a while," she said. "Not think about what's going to happen tomorrow."

"I feel that," Jay repeated, pulling away to go fix them dinner. "Your files were a huge help."

"Yeah?" she asked, finally feeling some pride in herself. She smiled gratefully at Jay as he slid a glass of wine towards her, and she took a sip quickly.

"We got another credit union," he told her. "Lindsey and I were there when they hit it. We got one kid, another got killed. They were 15."

"What?" she asked, hating that her suspicions were right. "I had my suspicions, but I didn't want to believe it."

"One of the boys, the one in custody, his name was in your file, along with Lavar Spann?"

"He's got a history with robberies, Spann does. But he got shot in the back, leaving him partially paralyzed," she explained.

"So, he's using these kids to do robberies for him?" Jay asked. Hailey laughed, it was crazy how in sync they are at times.

"That's my theory," she told him. "Are you reading my mind?"

It was Jay's turn to laugh as he kept stirring the pasta boiling on the stove.

"Babe, you're just as smart as me," he told her, and he was glad the only thing in her hands right now was her wine glass, which he knew she wouldn't throw at him. His woman loved her wine as much as she loved him.

"I'm kidding. You're obviously smarter than me," he said, looking her dead in the eye.

"And don't you forget it."

They spent the next few minutes just enjoying each other's company. Hailey took over cooking so Jay could change clothes and when he returned, she was draining the pasta and pulling out dishes.

"This is kind of fun," she said as they settled in to eat. "Being able to work on a case together."

"Yeah it is," Jay replied. "Never thought I would see the day."

"Right? I'm still a little in shock it's taken so long for our paths to cross," she told him before mind drifted away. "Jay?"

"Yeah?"

"Does anyone know?"

It was the question that had been bugging her from the start, did any of Jay's coworkers know he was married, or now, that they were married.

"No, babe," he told her, turning to look at her. "You know it's not something I'm trying to hide…"

"I know," she interrupted. "I just didn't know if you said anything."

"No, I haven't. Maybe once this is over, I'll invite you to Molly's and properly introduce you as my wife, Hailey Halstead, not as Detective Hailey Upton."

"You make it sound like I have an alter ego," she joked, happy to be moving on from the conversation.

"Maybe more like a superhero. A cop in the streets, but you're my wife in the sheets."

Hailey smacked him for that comment as he just laughed. The man was a child, she swore.

"And for that, you can sleep alone tonight," she said, standing up to take her dishes to the sink.

"Wait, no!" he whined. "It's my birthday!"

"Your birthday is tomorrow," she told him, rolling her eyes for effect. She busied herself with cleaning up as he walked towards her, wrapping his arms around her from behind.

"I can't convince you?" he asked as began kissing her neck, finding the spot that brought her to her knees in no time.

"You better make it up to me," she told him, turning around to kiss him, the dishes forgotten.

* * *

The alarm came too early in the morning for either of their liking, but one Hailey remembered what day it was, she was suddenly wide awake. Rolling over, she found Jay turning his own alarm off and she took the time to slide over, her arm going around his torso.

"Happy birthday," she whispered to him, kissing his bare shoulder as he turned over to face him. Before he could say anything, he turned onto his back, making her move away and she took to opportunity to climb on top of him, her hands bracing herself on his chest as she straddled him.

"This is a happy birthday," he said, smirking up at her as his hands fell to her bare thighs. She could feel his hands inching up and as much as she wanted to give him whatever he wanted this morning, they would both be late to work.

"Feels like a birthday to me," she said, her voice dropping as his fingers slipped under her shirt before hooking into the waistband of her underwear. "And as much as I would love this, we can't be late."

She did lean down to kiss him, letting him deepen it as his hands stayed put, her own moving to cup his face. Seconds felt like hours as they moved in sync and Hailey knew she had to pull back as Jay's fingers dipped lower.

"Jay," she said, her hands falling to his chest once again as she pushed back. "I love you but I gotta go, and so do you."

Jay sighed, knowing she was right. He moved his hands back to her thighs, needing the temptation to be gone.

"We'll just have to celebrate later," he told her. "Maybe you can put on whatever is in the bag in the closet."

"Jay Halstead! You weren't supposed to see that!" she yelled at him.

"Well, Hailey Halstead, I am a detective," he shot back. "And yes, I know you are too, so quit interrogating me."

"I was not," she said, climbing off of him. "And because of that comment, you aren't getting one of your presents."

"Yeah? And what was that?"

"Free invitation to shower with me," she told him, stripping the shirt of his she had on before turning around. "Now, it may be wise of you to go make coffee, if you want to see what's in the bag later."

As she turned and closed the door, she heard Jay's feet hit the floor before quickly retreating from their room, causing her to laugh at him. There was never a dull moment with him.

* * *

This was shaping out to be the weirdest morning ever, Hailey decided. She left for work on a high from two rather intense make out sessions with her husband and arrived to find a message from Hank Voight asking her to come to the 21st.

She texted Jay, wanting to know what was up but by the time she arrived at the 21st, he hadn't answered, leaving her to face whatever was in store by herself. But she knew the first obstacle would be the desk sergeant.

Just as expected, the woman was at the desk, eating what looked to be breakfast and mumbled something as Hailey walked in. She looked down to hide her embarrassment as the sergeant moved the coffee mug and takeout cup out of the way.

"If it isn't Detective Goldilocks," she said. "Hmm, there haven't been any robberies or homicides this morning, so let me guess why you're here."

"Sergeant," she began, wanting to apologize before being cut off.

"Uh-uh, wait. I'm good at this," she said. "You're here because you can't let it go."

The idea of apologizing went out the window, knowing it was useless. So, she went for the straight up approach as she looked at the sergeant.

"Voight called me down here," she stated, looking up at the woman who was beginning to scare her a little.

"Huh," she said. "Well then, let me just buzz you up."

"Sure, great," Hailey replied, turning to get the hell out of there before stopping to look at the woman's badge, wanting to thank her properly. "Thank you, Sergeant Platt."

She stopped herself as she said the words, not really believing what was coming out of her mouth.

"Trudy Platt?" she asked, causing the woman in question to look up at her, suddenly confused as to why Hailey had said her full name. "Worked Robbery-Homicide like 15 years ago?"

"That's right," Platt answered. "Why?"

Hailey continued to stare at her, not really believing what was going on. The puzzle pieces clicked in her head, and before she could say anything, she heard the gate open and a man's voice coming from the stairs.

"Uh, hey, Sergeant Voight's waiting for you," she heard, turning to find who she thought was Kevin from hearing Jay's stories. He held the gate open as she looked back at Platt, knowing this discussion was tabled for later. For now, she had a job to do, and she had to prove it to Jay's boss and his team, and now, Trudy Platt. She turned to walk towards the stairs, ready to face the unknown.

As she walked upstairs, part of her was relieved and upset that Jay wasn't there. Instead, there was just who she knew to be Adam Ruzek sitting at his desk, giving her a nod as she passed by towards Voight's office.

Hailey found him at his desk, and before either of them could say anything, he slid a photo towards her, the one she recognized to be Corey.

"Yeah, we got him in custody," Voight said without preamble.

"I knew it," she told him, glad that her work was paying off. She handed him back the photo before continuing. "This kid is robbing for Spann."

"Yeah, how does he fit into it?" Voight asked, handing her Spann's photo.

"Ex-bank robber from the Westside, did time in federal lockups," she explained, feeling more in her element. "Last time he pulled a heist, he was shot in the back by an FBI agent, left partially paralyzed. Did a dime in the infirmary wing in Leavenworth and was paroled a year ago."

"Obviously you've got a theory linking him to this kid," he said. She paused, suddenly worried about how he would respond to her theory.

"Spann can't physically rob banks anymore," she began. "So, I think he recruited teenagers from his old neighborhood to do it for him, like Fagin."

"Huh," was all she got in response, making her wonder what that was about.

"From the Charles Dickens novel," she explained before seeing what she thought was the closest thing to a smile she would ever see from Voight.

"Spann won a lawsuit against the feds because he was shot. After he got out of prison, he used his settlement to buy a used car lot."

Voight gave her what felt like a reassuring gesture before saying what she was sure she never would hear from him.

"Let's hit that lot."

* * *

When Olinsky told him that they would be staking out Spann, he could have thought of a million better things to do than go on a stakeout with Al. But the second he saw Hailey following behind him, he knew he was in for an interesting afternoon.

They had been sitting here for close to an hour when he finally was over the shock and knew he could do what he did best with Hailey, rile her up. And he figured Al would get a kick out of it, his no bullshit attitude would help in getting under Hailey's skin.

"Got to admit, there's something inspiring about this guy not letting his bum leg ruin his American dream," he said, glancing back towards his wife.

"Sense of humor?" she asked. "Don't get that much in my current unit."

She was game, he could tell. And he knew just what would get to her.

"Rumor has it, you were meritoriously promoted to detective, is that right?"

Jay didn't have to see her to know she was smirking while her left eyebrow went up the way it was when she was annoyed with him. He was going to get it later.

"Yeah, that's right," she replied, her voice losing some of the bite it always has.

"What, you shake your feathers in front of the right commander, or is your uncle an alderman?" Al asked. Jay knew it wasn't true, and that Al didn't care, so the comments didn't bother him. He just made a note that he would apologize to Hailey profusely later.

"I was undercover for a year," she said, rolling back to the window. "So, put that in your pipe and smoke it."

His girl had sass, as always. Jay had to admit, it was kind of fun having her around, being able to share another part of their life together.

They never meant to keep their marriage a secret, one thing after another caused it to get buried and it became almost normal. But they didn't see it as a bad thing. Circumstances got them to that point and all that mattered to them was their marriage and each other, plain and simple.

"Would you like to elaborate on this UC case for us?" he asked her, looking back at her. That was a mistake, because he had decided that seeing her on the job was easily one of the hottest things about her ever, and that list was very long in his mind.

"I would love to!" Hailey said, sarcasm dripping from her voice. "But I'm under a gag order from the AUSA's office. It's still being adjudicated."

Jay saw the look Al gave him, suddenly intrigued about this young, brash detective. But Jay knew that look, Al was impressed, and it took him a lot to be impressed with younger cops. Even Jay was still unsure some days as to where he stood with Al.

"The US Attorney's Office made it very clear," she continued. "If I talk, I get fired."

He thought he saw a smile cross Al's face, and he had to try and keep a straight face himself. But then he made a fatal mistake. He took another look back at her and this time, she met his eyes.

"And no offense," she told him. "But this is the first time in the back of your van."

The head tilt nearly killed him, their silent communication telling her everything he needed to know. He was in trouble and he would not hear the end of it later. He watched as she returned to take photos and Jay knew that was the end of that conversation when he heard her speak.

"Hey, check it out." She rolled back to them, craning her head to look out the windshield. They all took another look before Al looked at the file.

"That's Sammy Ray, 17. He was one of the kids at the car lot."

"Kawasaki," Hailey added. "That's the same motorcycle the other kids used to rob the banks. We gotta go after him."

Jay started to stop her, but Al beat him to the punch.

"We're not following a dirt bike in an Econoline van," he told her. "First thing that kid's gonna do is lose us down an alleyway. But I admire your enthusiasm."

Despite the disappointment he could tell she had, she resumed taking photos. The kid eventually rode away, silence falling in the van once again. As Al was flipping back through the file, Jay looked back at Hailey once again, only to find her already looking at him. She smiled, knowing that Al couldn't see. He took a risk then, smiling back at her, letting her know he was proud of her once more, as he always was.

* * *

"Here's the rest of the paperwork for the surveillance op," Jay said, handing Voight the file.

"Thanks," he said, taking it and setting it next to the open that was currently open on his desk. "Oh, and have you seen Upton?"

Jay froze, trying not to make it known to his boss that he was caught off guard. There was no way that Voight knew, the paperwork was too deep in their files. He had gone his entire career in Intelligence, hell in the CPD, with people thinking he was single.

"No, why?" he asked, trying to hide the nerves in his voice.

"Just wanted to talk to her," his voice about as nonchalant as Voight had ever heard it. "Thought about bringing her in while Burgess is on furlough."

He tried to hide his excitement, because having Hailey here would be a dream. They would likely have to keep the nature of their relationship quiet, but he knew he would do anything to help her.

"I'll pass it along if I see her," Jay replied, walking out of the office before he could be questioned more.

He fired off a text to Hailey, asking where she was. She quickly replied, Jay heading off to find her. Her text told him she was in one of the extra offices they had.

"Hey," he said as he entered, closing the door behind him.

"We're alone," she told him, reading his mind immediately.

"Thank god," he replied, walking over to her, his hands going to her waist as he picked her up, settling her onto the desk. His lips immediately found hers, silencing the small giggle that escaped her.

"Jay," she mumbled, trying to push him away but not having much luck. "Babe."

"No," Jay whined, causing her to laugh even more. This time, she pulled back, shooting him a smirk.

"Did I marry a 5-year-old? Cause it feels like that sometimes?"

"It's my birthday though," he replied, adding a pout for effect.

"Nice try buddy," she told him, pushing him away so she could get off the desk. "Anyways, what did you need? Or was it just a work place quickie, because remember, you aren't good at those."

"Says who?" he asked, trying to be offended.

"Say every single time you've ever tried to initiate one, and the fact that the last time caused us to be late and miss our flight to Miami."

Hailey knew she got him there, because he was so pissed that day. They had that trip planned for months for their anniversary and it all went away when they were late, causing them to spend their anniversary at home for a week.

"Fine," he told her finally, probably kicking himself at the memory. "Voight wanted to see you in his office."

"Any idea why?"

"No," he lied before leaning in closely, his mouth inches away from her ear. "But be quick, because I'll be waiting at home. And you better put your rings on, Mrs. Halstead, and whatever is in that bag."

Without another word, he left, leaving her flustered, which Hailey knew was intentional. That man was sending her in to talk with Voight after he got her riled up in more ways than one. Jay was so going to get it later.

Hailey tried to gather her wits as she headed towards Voight's office, not really sure what was in store for her. The last two times she had been here were polar opposites. She knocked on the cracked door and hearing Voight respond, she went in.

"Halstead said you wanted to see me?" she asked.

"Well, I got three bank robbers dead, one going to juvie and only $50,000 of the bank's cash recovered," he told her. "I'd love to give you your case back to run through your typewriter, but mi not sure there's much of a case left."

Hailey assumed this was Voight's way of joking, but she would take this as a good job and move on.

"I'll be happy to type it up either way," she told him. He took her response as a yes, handing her the file. But there was one thing on her mind, one thing she wanted to tell him.

"What you did for Corey Jenkins, protecting him by denying his confession. I don't know many, if any cops that would do that."

He didn't say anything, just gave her a look that she took as a thank you, before turning and walking away. But as she crossed the threshold, she heard him speak again.

"You know, I got an officer on furlough," he said. "Could use another hand around here."

While on the inside, she was screaming, she tried to keep her cool, knowing what a huge opportunity this was. And of course, a small part of her was thrilled with the idea of seeing Jay every day, even if that meant they would have to tell people about them.

"I'm saying I got a spot open in Intelligence if you want it."

Voight must have taken her silence for confusion but hearing him say that confirmed what she knew. It was almost sweeter, hearing him say it outright.

All Hailey could do we nod before turning to walk away, stopping herself shortly after, knowing she needed to give him some kind of response.

"Open or closed?" she asked, her words holding a different meaning she hoped he would understand.

"Open," he told her, and that right there was when she knew that tomorrow morning, she would be going to work with Jay.

* * *

"Jay!" she yelled as she walked in the door. His truck outside told her he was home, but she didn't find him sitting in the living room like normal. Hailey could see his jacket hanging up and his keys on the entry table but didn't hear anything.

"Babe are you…" she began, stopping as she walked further into the kitchen. Standing in front of her was Jay, smiling at her like he'd been waiting for her all day.

"What's this?" she asked, motioning to the set up in their kitchen. A bottle of champagne had been opened, two glasses filled beside it. Jay was dressed up, hands in his pockets as he just smiled at her.

"I'm pretty sure congratulations are in order," he told her as she walked closer.

"And why is that?" she asked, having an idea of where this was going.

"Because I'm pretty sure I'm looking at the newest member of Intelligence."

"And for once, you would be right," she told him, unable to hide the excitement she felt at hearing those words.

"I'm going to ignore that because I'm so happy for you," he said, leaning in to kiss her, continuing where they left off this morning until Hailey pulled back, clearly out of breath.

"Well then, guess I better go change" she started, moving to pick up the glasses before stopping as her gaze fell to the counter. "Jay?"

He didn't say anything, just picked up what she was staring at.

"So, I thought I would take my wife out on a proper date," he told her. "A celebration for both your new job and my birthday."

"It's only temporary," she reminded him, trying to remember that herself.

"But we still have forever," he said, picking up both her wedding band and engagement ring before sliding them on her finger. Every time he did that, she was transported back to their wedding day, a detail he knew, but she would never get tired of it.

"Can't argue there," she said, looking down at the solitaire diamond, her fingers running across the diamonds that encircled both bands. Without another word, she picked the darker ring on the counter up, sliding it back onto Jay's finger.

"Now," he told her, picking up both champagne glasses. "To us, the most badass couple there ever was."

"To us," she replied, tapping her glass to his before taking a sip. "I'll go get changed, and maybe I'll put on what's in the bag."

"You better," he told her. "Because your dress is coming off when we get home."

* * *

**Thank you for all the sweet reviews! This story is only just getting started. It's an idea I've had for a while and more free time coming up, I thought I would finally start this! ****This will follow the storylines of the end of season 4 and the beginning of season 5. **

**Quick disclaimer - chapters likely won't be posted so quickly back to back. These first two are just an exception since I wrote them surrounding the events of 4x21 and chose to have the first chapter serve as a prologue of sorts. But I've already started on the next chapter, so hopefully it won't be too long! **


	3. Chapter 3

It was weird to see the place so quiet, a change from the hustle and bustle she associated Intelligence with. She almost felt out of place climbing the stairs, felt awkward to be carrying the box in her hands. And it felt disheartening not to see Jay as she walked in, hoping that by seeing his face her nerves would calm some.

She didn't have to wait long before she saw movement out of the corner of her eye, spotting Adam coming from the hallway. He took one look at her, clapping his hands before looking back from where he came.

"Yes, you took the job," he said. "Kev!"

Hailey heard Kevin respond before she saw him as Adam walked towards her

"Temporary basis," she reminded them, needing to hear it herself. This was temporary, only until whoever Kim was got her family issues sorted. Jay didn't elaborate much on them, the haunted look in his eyes at the memory told her it was bad, whatever it was.

"All right, welcome to Intelligence," Adam told her before turning to Kevin. "You owe me 20 bucks."

"Ah, you had to take the job, didn't you?" Kevin asked. She laughed at his comment, glad that she was falling into an easy camaraderie with this team so quickly.

"Uh huh," she replied as Kevin handed Adam a twenty.

"What's in the box?" he immediately asked, and just like that, the nerves and awkwardness were gone.

"Loukoumades," she explained as she opened the box, suddenly glad she made the decision to stop by the bakery on her way in.

"Louko-what?" Kevin questioned, causing her to laugh.

"Greek donuts," she told him. "Shameless attempt to curry favor on my first day."

"Ah, you're off to a good start," Al said coming out of nowhere. Jay warned her this was a normal thing, the man just appearing out of nowhere.

The guys quickly helped themselves, thanking her as they stuffed their faces with the bite sized donuts. She was so caught up in the easy conversation that she didn't hear Erin's voice, until it was followed by Jay's.

"That's surprising," she heard him say, her head snapping to find he and Erin leaving the break room. There was something in Erin's hand, but whatever it was she couldn't see.

"I know," Erin told Jay.

"No, I mean it's surprising she hasn't hocked it yet," he told her. "Are you sure it's real?"

The exchange was weird to watch, whatever they were talking about seemed to be normal between them. Despite trying to push it down, remind herself she was married to Jay, Hailey couldn't help but feel jealousy raging inside her. She knew Jay was partnered with Erin, had from day one when he told her after his first day. But she never once worried, because at the end of the day, Jay came home to her and her only.

"I don't know, but she didn't ask for anything," Erin said, making Hailey wonder who this "she" was they were talking about.

"Yeah but she will," Jay said, following Erin to her desk. "Erin, people don't change, all right? Especially Bunny. You gotta shut that door, you gotta deadbolt it."

"Jay, I'm not looking for advice," Erin told him. "I'm just trying to talk this out."

That sentence caught her attention the most. Just how much did they talk about who ever this bunny was, or anything outside of work? It hit her then that Jay had a different life here in Intelligence, different friends and she wasn't prepared for how much it bothered her.

"I know you're not gonna want to hear this," he began. "But I think you're getting played again."

The door to Voight's office opened then, the sergeant stepping out and looking towards Erin and Jay.

"Jay, I don't need you to tell me what to do with my mother."

The growing rage inside her hit a peak, but there was nothing that could be done now. They were close enough to talk about Erin's mother. Just how close were they, Hailey wondered.

The little voice inside her head got louder as she tried to push all those thoughts away. Hailey refused to believe that he would do that, that the man she was married to and had been with for so long would do this to her, to their marriage.

Jay backed off at Erin's comment. She was pretty sure he hadn't noticed her yet, but once he did, she was worried her resolve would break. Did she make a mistake telling Voight yes? Despite this all being temporary, could she handle it, could their marriage handle this?

Her eyes followed him as he walked back towards his desk, but she wasn't prepared to see Voight doing the same thing before he spoke.

"Lindsey, you're now partners with Upton," he said, causing three heads to snap towards Voight. "Halstead, you ride with Olinsky."

If he was trying not to look at her, it wasn't working. Hailey knew Jay, knew that he would see right through her and how hurt she was feeling the second he did. It was clear that she wasn't the only once to be caught off guard with the news, but it brought the little voices back as Jay seemed to be the most worried.

"Are we clear?" Voight asked, looking towards Lindsey.

"Yeah," Erin replied, nodding before looking her way. There was something about the glance she shot her that had her wondering how Erin really felt. Something in her expression was enough to make her feel like Erin was mad about getting split up, that Hailey was somehow coming between her and Jay.

If only she knew, Hailey thought.

"So, where do you want me?" she asked, realizing this was happening. All she could do was roll with the punches, knowing that she didn't have time to wonder about what her husband was doing or what his actual relationship with Erin was.

"Right here," Voight pointed towards Jay's desk. "Jay you're over there."

All she could do was just watch anything but the look on Jay's face. Even as doubts crept in her mind, she reminded herself that this was temporary and the last thing she wanted to do was jeopardize Jay's career.

Her thoughts were broken as she heard Ruzek on the phone, urgency in his tone.

"Guys, guys," he began. "I'm getting an emergency alert form CPIC."

They all moved towards his desk as he typed in something, telling whoever was on the line to feed him video.

"OEMC received multiple 911 calls alerting them to this private Facebook user group," he explained. "Yes, I got it, it's streaming live."

He turned the computer screen towards them, the picture displayed disturbing. Her cop brain kicked in then, taking in all the details as Ruzek continued to talk to whoever was on the phone. She leaned in, focusing on the man and the pleading he was doing to whoever was torturing him.

"Ruz, tell them to work faster," she heard Jay say, suddenly aware of his presence behind her. Ruzek continued on the phone, demanding the address before the worst part of the video happened.

Second later, a match was thrown towards the man, his body going up in flames. It was then she realized whatever liquid he was doused with was gasoline, the only thing that would make him ignite so quickly. All she could do was look on in horror, not wanting her new coworkers to think she couldn't handle this. In Robbery-Homicide, she didn't handle things like this. Sometimes cases were brutal and the anger and rage that fueled people to do these horrible things was evident, but she couldn't say she had ever seen a man be set on fire.

"Yeah what is it?" he asked. "3200 block of Larimer."

At the confirmation of an address, chaos broke out as everyone scrambled to get their things before heading out. She didn't have time to think about anything else but finding the guy responsible for this as her body went into autopilot. There would be time later to think about Jay, Erin and whatever was happening between them.

* * *

The ride back to the district was awkward between her and Erin, the silence that filled the car was deafening. On the way to the warehouse, there was nothing but adrenaline coursing through her, leaving no room to think about Erin, Jay or Jay and Erin.

"So, how long have you been working in Intelligence?" Hailey asked, trying to break the tension.

"A little over three years," Erin answered as Hailey filed away the information. So, she's been there just as long as Jay has.

"How long were you in Robbery-Homicide?" Erin asked, snapping Hailey from her mind.

"About two years now," she told the brunette.

"Well, welcome to Intelligence," Erin told her as they pulled into the district. Hailey couldn't tell if she was serious or not, but she just thanked her before heading back upstairs. The last thing she needed was Erin telling Jay his wife is a bitch, even if she didn't know the wife detail.

Everyone else was back in the bullpen as she entered and instead of heading to her assigned desk, which was previously Jay's, she opted to stand behind it, leaning up against the wall. As she looked around, Hailey noticed that Erin didn't follow her up. But she didn't have to wonder long as she heard Erin before she saw her, along with Jay. Erin walked towards the white board, taping up some photos from the video as Jay followed behind.

"All right our victim is male, African-American, mid-20s," Jay began, taping a photo of their victim on the whiteboard. "We ran facial recognition, no matches. His fingerprints were burnt off in the fire and his wallet was torched so in short, we can't ID the guy."

"What we do know is that our victim's blood type does match the writing on the wall in the warehouse," Lindsey explained. "It's B positive."

"Someone thinks our victim is a sex offender," Hailey added, wanting to contribute her own thoughts to the conversation. "Or wants us to believe that he was."

"And the attack was well thought out," Lindsey said. "They lived streamed the torture on a burner phone that they dumped at the scene. The gloves, the gas can, they're all standard issued products available at every hardware store in the city."

Hailey didn't miss the look she shot towards Jay, further making her believe that there was something more going on that Hailey was led to believed. The more she saw the signs, the more she couldn't believe this could really have been happening under her nose, but Jay was good at undercover, and their jobs kept them apart. A small, but growing voice was telling her what she never wished to know.

"Two metal objects survived the fire," Adam said, breaking her from her thoughts. "This metal crucifix, which matches the one in the photo, and a key."

"Yep, and this key matches a Kia, 2010, that was parked right in front of the warehouse," added Kevin. "As we speak, the crime lab is sweeping it for prints and DNA. The car's registered to a Janie Hendricks. She has an address in Inglewood."

"Okay, why don't you go talk to her, you and Jay," Voight said as he began dishing out tasks, pointing at Olinsky. "Let's comb the neighborhood. We gotta ID this victim if we're gonna figure out who targeted him."

They all fell silent, moving to split up. But before Hailey could do anything, she heard Jay's voice from beside her.

"Uh, hey Sarge, um are, are we really doing this?" Jay asked, referring to the elephant in the room that was him and Erin being split up. Voight looked back at Jay's desk before back at Jay himself.

"Get a box if you need it," Voight told him before walking into his office, leaving both of them rather uncomfortable.

She felt his eyes on her, even while she was trying her best not to look at him. While part of her felt they were keeping up appearances, pretending to be uncomfortable with the whole situation. If Jay appeared to be uncomfortable, she couldn't tell, because she really was feeling very awkward.

He made his way towards her, silently apologizing as she just stepped back. Jay barely grazed her, and she desperately wanted to reach out and touch him, to ground her and reassure herself that she was his, and he was hers. Because in that moment, as she watched Erin look up at them, her eyes following Jay, Hailey desperately wanted to make it known Jay was hers, and only hers.

* * *

"Hey," Hailey heard as she packed her bag to head to Indiana. She was honestly dreading this car ride, but she doubted anyone, except maybe Jay, would believe her.

She turned around, finding the man in question behind her, standing in the doorway.

"Hey," she replied, trying to be as casual as she could. There was no telling who was around, and she especially didn't want Erin to be listening to their conversations.

"You good?" Jay asked her, walking closer. Hailey only nodded before leaning against the locker, trying to let the coolness of the metal to bring her back to reality.

"Is there anything I need to know?" she blurted out, needing to ask one of the most pressing questions on her mind. She wanted to add "about Erin" but he would see through that instantly.

"About?" Jay asked, copying her as he leaned against the lockers too.

"This unit, this job," she answered. "I feel like I'm walking in blind."

"I get it," Jay told her. "Just keep your head down, don't ruffle any feathers. You're doing great."

"But," she began before he cut her off.

"I know what you're going to say," Jay told her. "Don't let Erin get under your skin. She's just going through some things right now."

The casualness of the way he said that made the gears start turning in her head. She had already seen whatever was between them before her very eyes this morning, and now that Jay was bringing it up, she was questioning what kind of relationship he has with Erin.

"Yeah," Hailey began. "What was that about this morning?"

The hesitation on Jay's face told her more than she needed to know, but she wasn't ready to make that known yet.

"It's family stuff," he finally said. "She's always had a complicated relationship with her mom."

"But it isn't your burden to carry," she shot back, even as she immediately regretted her words.

"She's my partner, Hails," he said softly. "I know that it isn't my burden, but I'm still going to have her back."

Hailey just nodded, her hands brushing her hair back as she tried to gather her thoughts.

"There is nothing else going on, babe," Jay whispered, dropping his voice so that no one could hear them.

All she could do was keep nodding, almost afraid that words would break her.

"Hailey," he said, his voice now steady. "You are a good cop, you can handle yourself in anything. Don't you think for one second you can't handle this unit, because you absolutely can. Don't worry about Erin, or me, or anything else. Worry about Voight."

"Voight?" she asked curiously. All she got out of her husband was a laugh.

"He's scary," was all Jay said before turning and leaving the room.

* * *

The entire drive from Chicago to Crown Point was tension filled, awkwardness filling the car as Erin drove. The drive was less than an hour, and Hailey kept telling herself she could do it, that she could handle this, she could sit for an hour in the car with the woman she thought hated her more than anything.

It started off just fine, as they discussed the case, refreshing their minds about what they knew and trying to learn as much as they could about Beth Murphy. Erin made comments here and there, but none were enough to sway Hailey's opinion of the woman more than her actions already had.

She didn't try to let it bother her when Erin asked who she was texting, as a smile creeped onto her face when she read Jay's message. Erin's tone was enough that she could snap, but Jay's words brought her back to Earth. The petty side of her wanted to rub it in Erin's face, but the smarter, cop side of her told her no, to get all the evidence before making a judgement call.

Nearly half of the ride went by in silence, with the low volume of the radio filling the car as random pop music filtered through the speakers. If Erin could feel her stewing, she didn't let it be known. But by the time she broke the silence a second time, Hailey nearly had enough.

"Listen, I've got no problem with you being on your phone," Erin began, not taking her eyes off the road. "But I have a problem with you doing so when we're in the middle of a case."

Hailey glanced her way, her hands not moving from where they hovered over the keyboard on her phone. She didn't even move to lock her phone, part of her wanted Erin to know that this didn't bother her, that she could gladly see what was happening.

"It's just my husband," Hailey told her, having had enough. "He just asked if I would be home tonight or working late."

"You're married?" Erin asked, surprise in her voice. Hailey watched as she gripped the steering wheel tighter, the news clearly a shock to the other woman.

"I am," Hailey told her, her left index finger moving to play with the sterling band she left on since Jay's birthday. In that moment, she was glad she left it on this morning, needing it to ground her for this conversation. "Have been for almost four years."

"Wow," was all Erin said. "That your ring?"

The condescending tone didn't rattle Hailey, as she suspected the question was more out of jealousy than anything else.

"One of them," she explained. "I don't like wearing my engagement ring or my band when I work, so my husband got me this one to wear to work. Says he likes other cops to know I'm taken."

The dry laugh that escaped Erin was not missed, and Hailey returned to her phone quickly to finish texting Jay. But once again, Erin's voice broke through the car.

"Can't say I know what it's like to be married, but I can understand about being labeled as someone's."

The context of that statement sat weird with Hailey, as she couldn't quite tell if Erin was referring to Jay or someone else. At this point, she wouldn't put it past her, because the awkward air in the bullpen earlier this morning was enough to make her know that Erin was not okay with this whole partner shakeup.

Finally, she saw the welcome sign for Crown Point, as good a sign as any that this entire awkward car ride was coming to an end. The town was small, seemingly like the main stretch of road was the only one with a stop light.

"I'll tell you what," Hailey began, running her hands across the dash, trying one last time to make conversation. "You guys got way nicer cars in Intelligence."

If Erin knew she was trying to change subjects, she didn't make it known.

"I know, we just seized this one from a cartel boss," Erin explained, her voice hinting annoyance as she looked over at Hailey. Feeling eyes on her, she felt that she had to play a part, be that innocent new girl that was anything but innocent and was clued in to more than Erin knew.

"Sweet!" Hailey replied as silence engulfed the car. It was that silence where there wasn't much to say, or do, when she so desperately wanted to blurt it out, that Erin couldn't have Jay, despite whatever the other detective was thinking. Hailey saw the way Erin looked at Jay, saw the way she acted when they were split up. Part of her was feeling the awkwardness, but a bigger part of her didn't really care, because Erin's feelings were of no consequence to her.

But despite all that, Hailey felt that she should say something, because she could tell Erin felt she was the bad guy in this situation. It would do you fell to be nice, she told herself, even while playing nice wasn't in her vocabulary.

"So, you and Halstead," she began. "You guys were partners for a while?"

"Yeah," Erin answered, regret in her voice for the first time, but that annoyance was still there.

"I didn't mean to throw sand in the gears," she said, hoping to be the nice cop.

"No don't worry about it," Erin told her. "It was probably time for a change anyway."

Her words shocked Hailey, but she didn't let it known. However, they didn't do much to quell the bubbling anger that there was something more than just a partnership between Erin Lindsey and her own husband.

* * *

The conversation with the Sheriff left Hailey uneasy, that he didn't want two Chicago detectives snooping around his town, let alone two female cops. They were trying to cover something up, that much Hailey could tell. Despite her dislike for her tone in the car, she was kinda glad Erin brought that towards the guy.

If there was one thing this woman was good for, she thought.

Less than five minutes later, they were back in the car, address in hand and headed to Beth Murphy's. But the second they pulled away from the curb, Erin started talking.

"I hate guys like that," she said, and Hailey was beginning to think that annoyance was just her permanent tone. "They all think that because I'm a female cop I slept my way up the ladder."

"I get that," Hailey said, and for the first time, she could empathize with Erin. She and Jay had that conversation more times than she could count, neither of them wanting others thinking she got any of the opportunities she got because her husband was a rising star in the CPD.

"What does your husband think about you being a cop?" Erin suddenly asked. The blunt question silenced her momentarily, not quite sure how to answer that. So, she went with the only thing she could think of: the truth.

"He's an Army vet, served in Afghanistan," Hailey told her. "He's worked with women in combat before, so it's nothing new to him."

"Really?" Erin said. Hailey just nodded, even though that wasn't much of an answer to Erin's question.

"Did two tours while he was enlisted."

"Hmm," Erin mumbled. "Wonder if Jay knows him? You should ask him, he did two tours in Afghanistan too, except he was a Ranger, so not sure what your husband did, or if he would have met Jay."

The condescending tone she had been getting from Erin all day was beginning to make her go insane, but she didn't have much time as they pulled up outside of Beth Murphy's house. The found who they assumed was Beth sitting outside a trailer in what looked like not the nicest trailer park she'd ever been too.

"Are you Beth Murphy?" Erin asked, as they approached the house. "We need to ask you a couple questions."

"What's it about?" Beth asked.

"Elijah Hendricks," Erin told her, her voice the softest Hailey had heard it.

"Judge told me if I testified, it'd be over," she told them. "Nobody'd come and bother me."

"Elijah was just murdered," Hailey broke the news.

"No," Beth said, sitting down, her voice breaking.

"And according to his phone records, the last person he talked to was you," Hailey finished.

"Why'd you call Elijah?" Erin asked.

"To warn him," Beth said after a second, the statement confusing and shocking Hailey.

"About what?" Erin asked.

"My boyfriend went into my Facebook," Beth said, giving into their questioning. "Saw that Elijah had sent me some message, he told me he was out of jail."

"To be honest with you," she continued. "I still have feelings for Elijah and Jake figured that out."

"Is Jake the one that gave you the black eye?" Erin asked, and her silence was an answer enough. Hailey felt her blood pressure spike, her dislike for this boyfriend rising when she thought about what he did to her.

"Where can we find him?" Hailey asked, trying to keep the anger out of her voice. Her question was enough for Beth as she stood up, trying to walk away from them, clearly not wanting her boyfriend to get into more trouble.

"Whoa, whoa," Hailey stopped her, her own voice becoming softer. "I know you're in a tough situation, you feel trapped, I get it. But do the right thing here and we will do whatever we can to help you."

She looked over at Erin, finding her partner was on the same page as her. She watched as Erin pulled out one of her cards, handing it to Beth as a silent lifeline she could use. She took it, playing with it while she seemed to silently weigh her options, Hailey hoping she would make the right one.

"He's at the bar," Beth told them quietly, despite, Hailey thought, knowing how this would end for her.

"Okay" Hailey said. "Thank you."

Without another word, she and Erin headed back to what they learned was the only bar in this town. They seemed to have come to a silent but mutual understanding that they would do what they could to help Beth. Something told Hailey that Erin may have been more of less used to this lifestyle, that she had somehow lived this before.

As Hailey suspected, it was a run-down dive bar, probably frequented by the local drunks and high school dropouts. She looked around as they walked in, Erin making her way to the bar to talk to the bartender. The smell of cigarette smoke and sweat filling the air, causing the growing headache she was feeling to get worse. She felt eyes on her immediately, and it didn't take a badge to figure out the clientele here wasn't used to female cops walking into the bar.

"Hey is Jake Harper here?" Erin asked.

"Pool table," the bartender responded, pointing them in the direction. He clearly wasn't about to argue with them, which was good for him in the long run.

It didn't take much to find Jake, as he was starting at them when they looked his way. Hailey could tell Erin had energy to burn, and she was willing to let her do and say pretty much whatever if that meant she wouldn't be the subject of more side comments on the drive back.

"We need to ask you a couple of questions," Erin told him as she walked around the side of the pool table. It almost seemed like he had an idea as to why they were there.

"Let me guess, my girlfriend sent you?" Jake asked, confirming Hailey's suspicions.

"No, she didn't really want another black eye," Erin shot back, bite laced in her voice. "Takes a real man, huh Jake?"

"Maybe you like it rough too, huh," he said, pointing his cue stick at Erin as he walked towards her, the suggestion in his tone making Hailey's blood boil once more.

"Trust me Jake, today is not the day you wanna start trash talking my partner," Hailey told him, slapping the cue down on the table. She watched as his eyes glance around the room, suddenly worried that any of his buddies were hearing this.

"Let's step outside," Erin said then in a move trying to calm everyone down.

"Give me that," she said, taking that damn cue stick form his hands, throwing it down on the table. She was so done with today and she knew one more comment from Erin or anybody trying to undermine her would make her lose it.

"Elijah Hendricks, you recognize him?" she asked him as they walked out behind the bar. She desperately wanted to shove the phone in his face, but she held back as much as she could. He barely looked at the phone before replying

"No friend of mine," Jake told her

"He was murdered yesterday," she continued. Her patience with this guy, and this case, was running thin.

"What? I'm supposed to shed a tear?" Jake replied

"Well are you aware that in high school Elijah was convicted of raping your girlfriend?" said Erin. Her tone told Hailey she was also done with dealing with this asshole.

"I guess he got what he deserved," Jake shot back

"Did he? To be burned alive?" Erin argued. Hailey couldn't even deny that Erin was pissed as well and handling this better than Hailey would. But Hailey also knew that she couldn't afford to get herself in trouble now, for worries that she would screw her career up.

"That wasn't me," Jake said, his tone cooling done as Erin showed him a photo of Elijah, murdered and burned.

"No?" Erin asked. "Cause I've seen Beth, you're clearly the jealous type."

"How would you feel if a man rapes a woman, gets set free and then he contacts her? Hey baby remember the good ole days?"

"So, you knock your girlfriend around and then go after Elijah?" Erin asked, her temper flaring and all Hailey could do was stand there, arms crossed as she witnessed the exchange.

"It wasn't like that," Jake told them, finally resigning to the argument happening between him and two Chicago cops. "I didn't know it was gonna go down like this, I swear. I found this group on the internet and told them about Elijah. They're the ones who made the video."

Hailey felt Erin's eyes on her as she turned to the woman beside her. For what it was worth, Hailey believed him. She didn't care too much if Erin did or didn't, but she would do her best to make sure an innocent guy wouldn't end up in jail for what she feared was only the beginning.

* * *

They made it back to Chicago with no fuss, and for that, Erin was glad. She could sense that Hailey was uncomfortable with every second they sat in the car. Even while she was the new girl, she didn't want her to feel awkward. The last thing they needed was someone leaving a stint in Intelligence with the wrong idea.

The woman got under her skin, that much she would admit. But after the help she gave with their credit union case, she had to hand it to her. Hailey Upton was a damn good cop, but that didn't mean she had to like her. She was filling in, temporary and it would serve her well to remember that.

She had to come in and switch things up, she had to mess up the one thing she had going for her, and that was her partnership with Jay. When everything else was going to shit, Jay was there to give her stability.

So yeah, Hailey Upton wasn't her new best friend, and she doubted she would ever be her friend. But she had to suck it up, and that meant spending two hours in a car to Indiana.

It shocked her when Hailey told her she was married, because she wasn't expecting that answer when she snapped about the phone. The phone wasn't the problem, it was whatever she was reading that was making her smile. Every detail after that was another surprise from Hailey, reshaping Erin's opinion of her.

Fortunately for them, the ride back to Chicago was better. There were updates to the case, and they gave the team the information they had. The next thing they realized, there were minutes away from the district, the familiar streets a welcomed sign.

"Thanks for the company," she told Hailey as she grabbed her jacket. She watched the blonde turn towards her, smiling lightly.

"Anytime," Hailey told her. "Let me know how much I owe you for lunch."

Before she could think about it, Erin waved her off, silently letting her know not to worry about it. She could do this one thing, she decided.

"See you tomorrow," Hailey said, opening and closing the door before Erin could say a word. As she heard the passenger door close, a weight left her shoulders as she no longer had to pretend, to act like everything was fine.

The clock on the dash barely read nine, and she was hungry and in need of a drink. Before she could talk herself into going home and not eating, she grabbed her phone, firing off a text to Jay. He was always down for a late dinner, even while the words made her feel salacious. Jay was single, she told herself, there was nothing wrong with getting a late-night dinner with your partner.

Jay's truck was still parked in the lot outside where she sat, so she knew he was still here. Deciding to stay here until she had an answer, or she saw Jay leave, she shifted the car into park, deciding to absently scroll through Facebook for a few minutes, silently savoring the free time that seemed so hard to get.

She wasn't sure how much time had passed until the darkness of her car was illuminated by taillights, flashing on and off as they signaled a car unlocking. Looking up, she spotted her partner walking towards his truck, his duffle slung over his shoulder. He was looking at his phone, and it was the only thing keeping her from getting out of her car.

Next thing she knew, he was looking over his shoulder at something, what, she couldn't see. She figured it was Voight or Antonio looking for him, but to her surprise, she spotted blonde curls and a dark jacket, the same one Hailey just took out of her car.

The scene she was watching confused her, because Jay and Hailey never really spoke the past few days, but here they were, having a conversation behind the district. She noticed Hailey had her bag too, obviously on her way out. Maybe she was apologizing for the awkwardness of the past few days, for the shake ups she's brought to Intelligence.

Erin almost missed it. If she wasn't paying as close attention as she was, or if she wasn't a detective, she wouldn't have seen it. Their profiles were to her, but she could see Jay reach out, his fingers tracing the ring on Hailey's finger, the same one she told Erin earlier was from her husband.

That was when she saw red. Did Jay know Hailey was married? Was this a thing? Because there was no way a guy, Jay of all people, would do what he just did if it wasn't a thing. She watched as his finger stayed there, loosely linking his other fingers with hers, just barely noticeable.

The audible scoff that came from her echoed in the car. She couldn't believe this, she didn't believe Jay would have an affair with a married woman, a married cop with an Army vet husband. Her dislike for Hailey grew, because all the stuff she said about her husband and her marriage could have been a lie to hide the real reason she was here.

As soon as it happened, it was over, as Hailey backed away, heading towards her own car. She was barely to the other side of the lot before Jay was in his truck, acting like the whole exchange never happened. Erin watched as he backed out and she slid down in her seat, trying to hide the fact she was still there. Jay pulled out of the lot, turning left and moments later, she watched Hailey's SUV do the same thing.

While she wanted to follow them, she wasn't going to be that person. They were both trained cops, they knew how to spot a tail. They would sniff her out instantly. So, her plan was to lay low, to observe them for any slip ups, because in that moment, she knew two things.

Hailey was a liar, and Jay is in trouble.

* * *

**Sorry for the ****delay! School started again and this week has been wild! But after this chapter, things will pick up! Hope you enjoyed!**


	4. Chapter 4

The second he got the call, it felt like the floor beneath him disappeared. The last thing he expected was to be called to the house where Erin's mom apparently was. It was the last thing she needed on top of everything else, he thought.

It was hectic when they got to the house. Jay had been at the district with Voight and Al, everyone else still on their way in. He remembered waking up, leaving Hailey still asleep in bed, and despite everything going on, he smiled at the sight, knowing he had exhausted her the night before. Last night was a stress reliever for them both, the weight of their last case hit hard when they got home, as they left their walls at their front door.

Hailey understood him more than he did, and even while he didn't verbalize it, he knew she saw how the case affected him. Jay knew her just as well, which was why he dragged her towards their shower, silently telling her in no uncertain terms that work would be forgotten and all that mattered was the both of them.

Jay knew she was going to talk to her FOP lawyer this morning about the hearing before the review board later. They had all prepped but there was a lot riding on her. She was the only other person in that room beside Erin and their suspect, and Jay knew deep down that her version of events could make or break Erin's career.

He didn't wish that on anyone, to be the deciding factor for another cop's career. But with the case that stood in front of them now, he could feel in his gut this was going to go downhill.

Time didn't seem to be relative anymore, but he heard his wife walk in, talking to Al to fill her in as he rummaged through the kitchen drawers, ignoring the comments coming from Bunny.

"Okay. Thanks," he heard Hailey say after a while. "That was Dr. Choi Guy's alive, barely. Going into surgery now."

"Yeah," Al answered. "His name is Johnny Martelli."

"You know him?" his wife asked as he continued listening to the conversation. He needed to hear her voice right now, something to ground him as his mind was spinning.

"Voight knows him from the Social Club," Al said, and even Jay knew that was all he would say about the subject.

"We're looking for a nine-millimeter," the older man said, changing the subject.

"All right," Hailey said, and it was then he could feel her eyes in him, almost like she was seeing how he was handling it all. "Let's find that gun."

Jay could feel the adrenaline still rushing through him, knowing it was the only thing that was keeping him from stopping to think. In this moment, thinking was dangerous. He was already struggling from the potential fallout of the situation with Erin and Hailey, and not knowing how to react was eating him alive.

"Jeez, man," he heard Adam say. "You going out of your mind? First you and Lindsay are split up. Now this? I wouldn't want to be here."

"I didn't know we had a choice," he shot back honestly. He didn't know what to think when Voight called him, telling him Bunny was in trouble. That was the last thing any of them needed, was Bunny Fletcher getting added to the mix.

"Let's get all the evidence we can," he told Adam, trying to refocus back on the case. "We don't know what happened here."

"Yeah?" Adam said, the simple word coming out like a question.

"Yeah," he replied, turning to look back into the bedroom. He felt Adam's hand on his arm, a silent "I got your back" but Jay was grateful none the less. At least it felt like someone was in his corner, even while he wasn't sure whose he was in: his partner's, or his wife's.

* * *

For once Jay was relieved to be the one to go to Med to check on Martelli. As the words left Voight's mouth, to walk Bunny out and head to Med, it felt like some of the tension in his shoulders was gone. The metaphorical weight on his chest had lifted. Seeing Erin at the district was no help either, because for a second, he thought he would never see her again and he had been oddly okay with that.

The idea of being alone without the prying eyes of his unit was much needed. With everything happening as of late, and now his partner being suspended, he wasn't sure where he stood. Adam's words this morning were somewhat comforting, but he knew the only person he could really comfort was working the same case and caught up with Erin's troubles.

His saving grace was his brother, who luckily wasn't busy. He may seem like a lost puppy following Will around the ED, but it didn't bother him. Being around Will for the time being was familiar, it was normal, just liked being around Hailey.

The thought of her made him smile, as she always did.

Jay would tell Will was annoyed with his constant pacing, and that his brother could sense whatever was going on inside his head. Will always could do that, could always seem to figure out just what was going on with him, even after years spent apart and not talking much.

"It's surgery," Will said, trying to get his brother to calm down. "They're pulling bullets out of the guy. It takes a minute."

"I know," Jay said, hesitation clear. "It's just, there's a lot riding on this for Erin."

"Is she freaking out?" Will asked.

"I don't know," Jay explained. "We didn't speak, really. I mean, we couldn't, it's so messed up."

Before he could say anything else, he spotted Dr. Choi walking towards them. The next thing he knew, the other doctor was standing in front of him.

"Jay, sorry, gunshot victim didn't make it," he explained. "Lost too much blood before we could stabilize him. I'm gonna notify his sister unless you'd rather do it?"

Jay just shook his head at the other vet before replying.

"It's a homicide now, so I need the time he was pronounced."

"I'll get the records," Ethan said before walking away.

"Thanks, Choi," Will said as Ethan left them. Jay then felt his brother's attention turned back to him, and it took a lot for him to not just walk out of the ED right there.

"How's Hailey feel about all this?" Will asked then, glancing down at the file in front of him.

"She seems fine, why?" Jay asked, confused by Will's question.

"Look I get you're close to Erin, you've worked together for years, but think about this from Hailey's perspective," Will began. "Watching her husband interact with another woman in the way you and Erin do?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jay interrupted, feeling himself getting defensive. But something in Will's words made it click, because he didn't know who he was defensive about: Erin or Hailey. It hit him then that the last few days, past few weeks even, has been a never-ending question of him wondering where his loyalties lied.

"All I'm saying is be careful and don't hurt her," Will finished, but Jay knew who "her" was. Before either of them could say anything else, the ED doors open, two paramedics rushing through.

"Two white male teens, both found unconscious," he told Will. "Girl who called said it was oxy. We administered Narcan, pulled one out, but her friend's nonresponsive."

"Bridgeport?" Will asked then, much to the surprise of the paramedic.

"Yeah," he replied. "St. Joe's Prep."

Will just shook his head as he turned back to Jay. His own mind was spinning, but instead of the battle between Erin and Hailey, he was focusing on what was happening in front of him.

"Two Bridgeport ODs yesterday, same deal," Will began. "Kids thought they were taking 10 milligrams, turned out to be 80."

"Well, there's more coming," the paramedic said. "Last count was these two plus nine."

They both watched him walk away towards the patient he just brought in. Jay watched the struggle play out on his brother's face, the question of whether to go tend to the new patient or stay and help his brother. He knew Will would stay and try to help, that was just who he was. But this was something he had to figure out on his own, but more so, he didn't want someone else giving him advice on this situation he found himself in.

"Go do your thing," he told Will, watching what he thought was surprise cross his feature. "Go."

He looked down, a million things running through his mind as he felt Will give his arm a reassuring squeeze, similar to what Adam did earlier. There was so much at stake here, and Will's question rang through his mind. The truth was, he didn't know how Hailey felt. She barely talked to him when she got home last night, except to tell him what had happened in the interrogation room.

It hit him then, the fear he held in the back of his mind from the second Hailey joined Intelligence. He hoped it would play out, that it would just be a simple worry that would fade once Kim returned and Hailey went back to Robbery-Homicide. But as the day went on and he was left alone with nothing but his own thoughts, he could see it coming.

Erin didn't have much time left in Intelligence. He was slowly beginning to realize it. Everything with Bunny was falling into place and with the dark cloud hanging over the CPD, there was no way she could bounce back from this investigation. Voight wouldn't be able to make this disappear.

* * *

"So, the bad news is the slugs that we recovered out of Johnny Martelli don't match any guns in our database," Kevin explained as he stood in front of the others. "They also don't match the gun that we recovered from the scene, which we also believe to be Martelli's."

"However, and more interestingly, the SIG we believe to be Martelli's did hit for another case, and that case involved this truck," Adam added.

The piqued her interest, Hailey thought as she sat there listening to Ruzek and Atwater.

"It was robbed on Racine, Back of the Yards," Adam continued. "40,000 pills of codeine. Two offenders wearing masks. The SIG was fired three times when the driver wouldn't get out of the truck."

"I just came from Med, and kids are ODing and dropping all over Bridgeport," Jay jumped in. "So, whoever's selling them these pills, they got the dosage of what they're selling wrong, and this robbery happened about a mile from their school."

Hailey couldn't help but wonder if Jay talked to his brother, and if that was where this new information came from. It had been a while since she had seen Will Halstead, even while he was her brother-in-law. Will understood her and Jay's stance on their relationship, understood why they did some of the things they've done. But he had always been nothing but kind and warm with her, and somewhere along the way had become more of a brother than her own brother's were.

"Martelli's flooded his own neighborhood," Al said.

"So, how does that get him killed?" she asked, looking over in the direction of her unofficial partner and her husband, trying her best not to look at the latter.

"Well, the driver said two gunmen, right? Where's the other guy?" Hank asked.

"Work Martelli's associates," he continued. "Dump their phones. Who was near the robbery? Where are they now? And I want to know how this robbery connects to our homicide."

"Hey, boss, what about Bunny Fletcher?" Adam asked. She silently cursed Adam, because she had decided since the beginning that she could go the rest of her life without needing to know more about Bunny and that would be just fine with her. It didn't take her rank to know that this case was shaking up Jay, and not in a good way.

"Yeah," Voight said. "Get her back here."

"We can do that," Kevin replied as she moved off of Adam's desk. She watched the other officer walk towards her, wanting to as the question she knew she shouldn't ask, but was going to anyways.

"Hey, Sarge has friends in Bridgeport, right? Is this personal for him?"

Adam went silent before looking back at their boss's officer. That told her all she needed to know, but he continued.

"That's the charitable description."

Hailey knew that was all she was going to get out of him and chose to leave it at that, even when her instincts were telling her not to. But before she could do anything else, she heard Sergeant Platt's voice behind her.

"Gang," she said, voice devoid of emotion before perking up. "Upton, you got a second?"

"I was just gonna…" she began, even while she had no idea of what she was actually going to do. But Platt interrupted her, telling her point blank that she had no choice but to follow.

"Sure you do, come on."

Without another word, she turned to follow the older woman into the breakroom. Even while she felt that she knew and understood this woman, she had no idea what she could need. The second they entered, she watched as the desk sergeant with her hand on the doorknob, shutting it as soon as Hailey was in the room.

"You're next at the Review Board," Sergeant Platt told her, even while it was nothing new to her. She gave her a tiny nod, letting her know she was understanding.

"Yeah, that's right," she replied.

"It was just you and Lindsay in that room," Platt said. "Just your recollection and hers."

"And the offender," Hailey added. Sergeant Platt wasn't telling her anything she didn't already know, but she jumped in all the same.

"He doesn't matter anymore. They're gonna drive a wedge between you and Lindsay."

"I've been to the Review Board before," Hailey began, trying to give a reassuring smile. She knew she was the newbie, and that there would be eyes on her as she was already going to the board less than a month into her time in Intelligence. It wasn't a good look for her, and if anyone at the board found out about her and Jay, then she could accidentally take him down with her.

"Not when it's you and a friend of mine," Platt began. "Not with Intelligence. Some people in that tower have a real bug up their ass for Hank Voight, and they see Lindsay as his girl."

Hailey couldn't argue with that, not that she would voice her thoughts about that.

"You're the unknown quantity," Platt finished, telling her in no uncertain terms to not fuck this up. She sighed, trying to calm herself down from saying too much.

"I'm taking my FOP lawyer," she told Platt. "We've prepped. Nothing's gonna bounce on this unit or Lindsay. I'm not that kind of cop."

There was an odd silence between them before Platt spoke again, Hailey not expecting the near flippant attitude the woman suddenly had about the situation.

"Good," she said. "Then I came up here for nothing."

Without another word, she opened the door for them both, Hailey making her exit quickly. Another second in there and she was sure Platt would say something else, or worse, figure out that there was more to this whole situation than what happened in that interrogation room. Hailey knew the stakes in this, and while her lawyer knew about her and Jay, she couldn't be sure about anyone else.

It wasn't some tightly guarded state secret, her marriage to Jay that is. She was sure any cop could figure it out, but her lawyer warned her they could bring it up. The first assumption would be she had let Erin do what she did, her own personal means was to get her out of the picture, out of Jay's life. Even while the idea was tempting, it wasn't her motive. There was no way she knew what Erin would do, and if she was being honest, if circumstances dictated, maybe she herself would have taken drastic measures to find a missing boy.

Hailey shook her head, trying to get her mind back on track and focus on the case at hand. She would talk to Jay tonight, try and see what his read on the situation was, and when this case was over, maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to take that trip he mentioned a few weeks ago, getting out of the city for a few days.

She remembered why he asked, and the thought made her smile, her mind going back to the night he threw the box of condoms away, the same night they decided to stop preventing anything from happening.

Thinking about it now, it seemed to be exactly what they needed. The two of them, in the middle of nowhere Wisconsin with no phones, no coworkers and no responsibilities. It sounded absolutely perfect, and with the weather finally moving from cold and dreary Chicago to something hopefully warmer, nothing sounded better than a week away with her husband.

* * *

This entire case was making his head spin, and that was before he thought about whatever was going on with Hailey and Erin. Jay tried to avoid talking about it right now, partially because he didn't want to know and because the only way to solve all of this was by one problem at a time.

Which was what led him to taking a drive, needing the quietness of his truck to drown out the thoughts plaguing him. Silence used to be bad for him after everything he witness in Afghanistan, but now it was all he wanted.

By the time he realized close to an hour had passed and Voight had texted to ask where he was, he figured it was time to head back. The sooner he closed the case, the sooner he could be back home with Hailey, back in the bubble they created to block out all the noise associated with their jobs.

He was just getting out of his truck when he spotted her. She looked like she had aged five years, had somehow looked worse than the time he found her outside that club at eight in the morning after Nadia died. But he still knew that she was taking a risk even being here, which meant something must have happened.

"Hey," Erin said as she approached him. "Can we talk?"

Jay glanced around, wanting to see if anyone else was around that could put them in more hot water before nodding. He watched as she did the same; must be a partner thing. She walked closer as he took his sunglasses off, sliding them onto his shirt collar before deciding against it, needing something to do with his hands.

"My mom's in custody," she began, and he was not expecting that to come out of her mouth first thing.

"How? What district?" he asked before she jumped back in.

"It wasn't us. It's the FBI," she said. This was getting out of hand. "They got a tip on the narcotics – the shipment her boyfriend stole."

"For someone not working the case, you're up to speed," he said, trying to make a joke of it all before the conversation turned serious again.

"I tried to stay out of it," she told him, and when Bunny was involved, it was hard for Erin to not be involved. Her mother was her Achilles' heel, just like Hailey was his.

"Look," she continued. "It was three men who robbed the truck, driver was Ian McAuliff."

"That could be our shooter," he mused, surprised Erin got that much information from her mom. "Man, she opened up."

"I guess getting pinched by the FBI will do that to you," she replied, this time being her turn to joke.

"Go, get McAuliff," she told him. "I shouldn't be here."

Erin looked back at the district once more, and Jay let the idea that this could be the last time she may be here creep into his mind. But the thought was quickly gone as he felt her palm on his chest, the warmth oddly soothing._  
_

He watched his former partner walk back towards her car, but he stayed rooted in place, unsure what to do. The information she gave him would be the break they needed in their case, but at what cost? The way Erin talked made it seem like she had lost her job, or she felt like she would. Either way, he felt bad for her, knowing how hard she worked to get to where she is.

"Hey Jay?" he heard her say, snapping him from his thoughts. He hadn't moved, or he didn't think he did, but he saw Erin looking back at him, her hand on her car door.

"Watch out for Upton," she said as she got into her car. "Be careful."

Without another word, she closed the door and drove off, leaving him nothing short of shocked. What had happened in that interrogation room, and at the review board? He hadn't had time yet to talk to Hailey, but after Erin's warning, he needed to find her.

* * *

It felt weirdly comfortable sitting in between Jay and Will at Molly's, like this was an everyday occurrence. She didn't feel as out of place as she expected with the addition of Kevin and Adam. It was a welcome change of pace after the week they had had.

What didn't feel right was how brooding Jay was being at the moment. If it weren't for everything happening, she would have thought he was in a mood because he couldn't touch her, or actually act like they were husband and wife. No, she knew the reason was because of Erin.

Despite it all, he had cornered her in the locker room earlier as she was leaving. There hadn't been time to talk as Platt called her downstairs and Adam had walked in minutes later. She knew they had to have this discussion, even if she wasn't ready for it. The last thing she wanted to do was blindside Jay, but she had to ask and know for herself.

Hailey found herself looking at the door again, expecting Erin Lindsay to walk in like nothing had happened. Jay would appreciate that, she thought to herself cynically. Even while her dislike for the other detective grew, she still didn't want to see her out of a job because of something any other cop in Erin's shoes would have done.

"Where is she?" she finally asked to no one in particular. She felt Adam behind her, reaching around to set another drink in front of Kevin.

"You know what? I texted both her and Burgess," Adam began, walking back to his seat. "Kim's on her way, but I never heard back from Lindsay."

"I wonder if she heard back from the board already," Kevin answered. Hailey felt Jay tense beside her, his silence more telling than his words ever could be.

"Maybe," Adam continued. "But that's all the more reason to celebrate, right?"

"Yeah, or drown her sorrows," she said. It was the truth, at least to her. She didn't see anything that would cause Erin to bounce back from this. Even as she felt all eyes on her, except for Jay whose gaze was set on the door, she didn't feel any remorse for her statement.

"Jeez," Adam mumbled, and that's when she knew she needed to quantify her statement. Two of the people here may know more than others, but right now, especially right now, was not the time to announce the man to her left shared her bed at night and had for the better part of four years.

"Sorry," she apologized, albeit half-heartedly. "I'm Greek. I see tragedy in everything."

"I thought you guys were supposed to be fearless?" Will asked, and she had to bite back a smile. Instead, she just shot him a look, hoping he got the message that if they weren't out in public, she would have smacked him for that comment.

"Yeah," she began, letting him know she wasn't messing around. She could also feel Jay's eyes shift back to her. "And on the streets, I'd like to think I am. But the Ivory Tower that place is like a minefield with an elevator. And any cop who thinks otherwise is stupid or –"

"Or what?" Kevin interrupted before she really could go off on a tangent.

"Or stupid," she finished before pointing at him. "Plain and simple."

Hailey heard Kevin mumbled an "okay" before the table went silent. She watched Will's eyes move back to his brother, having picked up on the same thing she had been all night, the ever-present broodiness that was coming from the younger Halstead.

"She'll be here," Will said in a reassuring manner. Hailey didn't know what all Will knew, but he could sense something was off about his brother and sister in law.

"Yeah," Jay said for the first time in over an hour. "Give me a minute."

She watched as he got up, not surprised he took his beer with him. They all knew where he was going, and Hailey felt the realization sting. This is what she had been afraid of, the idea that being surrounded by Jay at work and at home wouldn't bode well for their marriage, and she was watching her deepest fears come true.

"Copy a minute," Kevin said as he walked around her. She felt his arm brush against her back, but whether or not it was intentional, she didn't know. On instinct, her eyes followed him as he walked towards the door before disappearing outside, Will doing the same before turning back to the table, trying to lighten the now somber mood.

"That means a half hour," he told them, getting chuckles out of the other guys.

This was now dangerous territory, as it made her mind wander perhaps more than it should. The imagery was not lost to her: here she was, sitting at a bar with her brother in law and friends while her husband was outside calling another woman. That was what her life has become, and Hailey wasn't sure how she felt about it. Something would have to change but she didn't know what. Not being with Jay wasn't an option, and she refused to let her mind drift down that path.

She once again felt eyes on her and turned to find Will looking at her, eyes free of the judgement she somewhat expected. He never would think anything less of her, he was too much like his brother. At some point she had become close with him than her own brothers, which is why she felt a little better when she felt his hand reach for hers under the table, giving hers a light squeeze.

"Hey, I'm gonna call it a night," she said, deciding she wanted to be anywhere but here. The guys of course protested her, but she brushed it off, claiming some bullshit about being tired from the case and being questioned by the review board. They understand that and thankfully let her leave. Will just gave her a look, silently telling her it would be okay. But would it?

As she stepped outside into the cool Chicago air, she spotted him immediately leaning against the brick. He didn't seem to notice her, not until she was right beside him.

"Hey," he said softly, shoving his phone back into his pocket. Seeing him, and now him talking to her and being shady with his phone, which he never was, somehow was the last straw, the final trigger that caused all hell to break loose in her mind.

"Meet me at home," she told him firmly. "We need to talk."

* * *

Hailey was regretting it, all of it: leaving Molly's before him, forcing herself to sit on the couch in silence with only her thoughts to occupy her. But the silence let her analyze everything that had happened since she joined Intelligence, and none of it seemed good.

As she sat there, everything was beginning to add up, it was all falling into place. She didn't want to believe it; she didn't want to think about the fact that Jay could have done this to her. Her mind flashed back to what Erin said earlier, when Platt called both of them to make sure everyone was on the same page with everything.

Hailey scoffed remembering Erin's words. The other woman stayed back after Platt left, her demeanor shifting, and Hailey saw through it all. She played the part of a girl with a rough upbringing who got her life together, and while part of Hailey applauded her, the other part wasn't going to be deterred by the innocent act she had going on.

"_How are you doing?" she had asked Erin when they were alone. This was a lot for any cop to handle, and now with her mom, Hailey couldn't imagine what was going through her mind. _

"_As well as could be," Erin replied. "Considering it all."_

"_If there is anything I can do," Hailey began before Erin cut her off. _

"_Yeah there's one thing," Erin said quickly. "Stay away from Jay."_

"_Excuse me?" _

"_He's got a lot going on, and he doesn't need someone like you bringing him into, whatever it is. Don't get involved with him, don't make him the other man."_

Erin had left without any other words, leaving Hailey standing there, shocked at what just happened. It was then she realized what this was about – Erin didn't know that her husband was Jay. But the fact that Erin felt threatened told Hailey enough, further causing her to question what the extend of Jay and Erin's partnership was.

"Hailey!" she heard from the entry way. His voice jolted her in a way that it never had before. It was concerning, worrisome, scary even. Because she had no idea where this all would go, and how this would impact everything they had built.

"In here," she replied, taking another sip of the whiskey in her hands. He would catch on that something was wrong the second he saw her, because he knew her, knew that she went for the hard stuff when there was something on her mind.

"Hey," he said softly as he walked in, shedding his jacket off. Jay nodded towards the glass in her hands, and she knew she was caught. "You going with the hard stuff?"

"It's been a hard couple of days," Hailey replied, looking up at him. He didn't look as worried as he did an hour ago, he looked back to his normal self, maybe slightly exhausted by the case they've had.

"I get that," he told her. She averted her eyes from him, choosing to stare into the glass as if the whiskey would give her answers. She knew it wouldn't, but Hailey wanted to believe there was an answer to what was about to happen, for the conversation that needed to happen.

Silence fell between them and for the first time in the nearly six years they have been together, it was tense. Neither detective knew what to say as Hailey looked anywhere but Jay, and Jay stared only at his wife, waiting for her to say something, to do anything.

"Hailey," he tried, but was cut off as she shook her head.

"I need to ask you something," she began, her voice quiet. The tone from her made the hair on the back of his neck stand up, because it was one he had never heard from her before, ever.

"I'm only going to ask this once, and I hope you'll be honest with me," she finished.

"Of course," he replied. Hailey was beginning to scare him and there was nothing in his mind that would clue him in as to what she had to say.

Hailey took a deep breath, looking over at her husband. The look on his face told her a lot, and it told her heart he was innocent. But she needed to hear it from him, in his own words.

"Have you ever cheated on me?"

The words shocked Jay, because that was absolutely the last thing he expected from her. Until she opened her mouth, the best-case scenario was she was telling him she was pregnant; worst case was that she was quitting Intelligence and going back to Robbery-Homicide. Never in a million years would he think Hailey, his wife, his best friend, would ask him if he's cheated on her. Jay had never considered it, had never even let the thought enter his mind, because he had seen the shit his dad put his mother through, and he swore he wouldn't be the type of husband, the type of man, his father was to his mom.

"Jay," she said softly, her voice bordering on innocent and scared. But the matter at hand was far from that.

"No, I," he began, his words coming out stuttered as he tried to get his mind to slow down, to answer Hailey without it seeming like he was trying to lie.

"Forget it," she mumbled, getting up from the couch and walking back toward the kitchen.

"Hailey, wait!"

"What, Jay? Your reaction is saying enough!"

"I'm sorry," was all he could say in the moment. "Can I just explain myself? Please?"

Hailey nodded her head, setting her glass down on the island as she turned towards him.

"I have never cheated on you, okay? Your question just caught me off guard. I never would do that, ever. You are the only woman I want, the only woman I will ever need. And I'm sorry if anything I have said or done that has caused you to doubt me and how I feel about you."

She sighed, running her fingers through her hair. Even she would admit that it was a lot to process, but she needed to know before anything else happened. She believed him, but after her own childhood, the thoughts were there, the fear that one day he would walk out and never come back because she had too much baggage.

"And, while I'm at it, I'm sorry if things at work have made it hard here, for us. I never wanted this place, our home, to be affected by the stuff we do on the job. And I get the Erin situation is hard…"

The scoff she let out caused him to stop dead in his tracks, his words stopping abruptly as he looked across the room at his wife. The look on her face was a mix between boredom and disgust, and he had only ever really seen that as she interrogated suspects.

"What?" he asked, the concern he had growing into something else, some emotion he had never felt where Hailey was concerned, and it scared him. But it was clear he caught her off guard and she was about to go on the defensive.

"Hailey," he began but she shook her head.

"Just forget I said anything," she mumbled as she tried to turn away. She was beginning to regret this but hearing him bring Erin into all of this was a breaking point. This had nothing to do with Erin. Sure, it had started because of her, but it had evolved past that. The few weeks she had been with Intelligence had been enough to show her that Jay was different here, he wasn't the Jay she saw at home, the man she married, the man she fell in love with. There was some of that guy there, but Detective Halstead was different than Jay.

"No," he said, having caught up to her and grasped her wrist, prompting her to turn around. She shrugged out of his grip and that seemed to be the tipping point.

"There is something else on your mind, something that brought this on."

"Just drop it!" she said, her voice raising. "Okay? Just forget I said anything."

"No, because there is something wrong. You're defensive about something."

"No, I'm not," she shot back but Jay just shook his head.

"Did something happen at work? I know we're a rough bunch and if Erin is giving you a hard time…"

"Will you shut up about Erin Lindsay!" she exploded as she reached her breaking point. She had had it with Jay's former partner and wasn't going to hear it anymore.

"What does Erin have to do with this?" he asked, genuinely confused, and if she had to guess, a little sad.

"Fucking everything," she mumbled as she rubbed her forehead, feeling the symptoms of a migraine coming on.

As her words sunk in, Jay realized what this was.

"Hold on," he said. "Do you think I'm cheating on you with Erin?"

Hailey just shook her head, and the frustration in him was rising, the tensions from the past few days getting the better of him.

"That's what this is about? You think I'm sleeping with my partner?"

"She is not your fucking partner, Jay! Not anymore!"

His blood was boiling, because despite arguing with his wife, he felt the need to defend Erin, even as a little voice told him to shut up about it all.

"You're right," he said calmly. "She's yours, and you should have done a better job at backing her up."

The words were out of his mouth before he could stop him, and the look on Hailey's face made it seem like he had slapped her.

"You think this whole thing is my fault? I'm not the one that shoved my gun down a suspect's throat! And not that it is your business, but I backed her up in front of the review board, I backed you up, you and the entire unit, because that's the kind of cop I am."

"You just let your partner into an interrogation room with her gun? The same partner you accuse me of sleeping with?"

The only sound in the room was the echo of Hailey's hand meeting Jay's cheek. A gasp from Hailey followed, because she couldn't even believe what she had done. It was mere second later that redness colored the side of Jay's face, but he had taken it as if it were nothing, and that scared her most of all.

"I'm sorry," she whispered as she was on the verge of tears. She told herself from the time she could understand it that she would never hit her husband, and after the hell her father put her through, she swore she wouldn't be that person, and here she was, having done just that.

Hailey sank onto one of the barstools, her elbows resting on the counter as she buried her face in her hands. She was afraid to look at Jay right now, not because she didn't want to see the mark she left on his face, but because she didn't want to see the hurt that was undoubtably there.

There was silence one more, the only muffled sounds from the deep breathing that was blocked by her hands.

"Where do we go from here?" Jay asked quietly, all fight leaving him. There was a lot more at stake here, and considering he had no idea where Erin was, or what they would see tomorrow at work, the least he could do was repair what he could with Hailey. Their marriage meant too much to him, and to her, that he wouldn't let it be undone by the fight they just had, however accusatory it had been.

"I don't know," Hailey told him, finally looking up but not at him. She stared ahead, her vision falling on one of the photos on the refrigerator of them, smiling, happy, in love.

"All I know is that I need to think about whether or not this is a good for me, for us?" she finished.

"What is a good fit?" Jay asked. "Intelligence?"

"Intelligence, our marriage, all of it, I don't know," she finished, voicing their worst fears. She couldn't look at Jay in that moment, it was all too much. Instead, she turned her head in his direction, enough to see his body but not his face.

"What are you saying?" Jay asked quietly. Her silence was enough of an answer as he walked towards her. Instinct told her to protect herself, as she flinched at the thought and she saw the hurt flash in Jay's eyes at her movements.

"Hailey, I never cheated on you, emotionally or physically," he told her. "I wouldn't do that, ever."

"I trust you," she told him honestly, finally looking at him. "But right now, I'm not sure I believe you."

* * *

**I am so sorry it has been so long! School has absolutely kicked my butt but I'm also not gonna lie that this one was hard to write, partially from a creative side but also from an episode standpoint. **

**I can also say that there was also another reason this took so long, and hopefully that reason will be posted soon, so stay tuned. **

**If you're still with me, thank you! I haven't give up on this story, and seeing how much you all love it makes it easier to write. So, this one is for you all! Hope you enjoyed! **


	5. Chapter 5

_September 2011_

"Hailey!"

Even while she rolled her eyes, she couldn't be mad at her best friend. Emma had been begging her for months to go out and she finally caved. Work had been tiring lately and since she finally had a night off and the next day off as well, she figured what the hell, there's no harm in a little fun.

"I'll be right down!" she yelled back, turning back to the task at hand. A few more swipes of mascara would do it and she felt like a new woman. But mostly, she was glad to be out of her uniform for once.

Since graduating the academy, Hailey seemed to forget what regular clothes felt like. She found the heels in the back of her closet, tucked away with stuff from a life before a CPD uniform was her daily attire. Adding the jeans and the off the shoulder white tee, a part of Hailey doubted anyone would know she was a cop. But maybe that was the goal, that for once she could feel like a single woman in her 20s without a guy feeling intimidated by her career choice.

"Damn girl," she heard from the door of her room. She turned to find Emma standing there, the redhead in an all-black look that just worked for her. Somedays, she didn't understand how they worked, but they did. Emma was easily her best friend, which may have helped with how easily Hailey caved to her invitation.

"Same could be said about you," Hailey replied as she finished putting her earrings in.

"Nick is meeting us at the bar," Emma told her. "He had dinner with some buddies earlier. Some may join him, but he didn't know."

"This isn't another one of your match-making schemes is it?" Hailey asked. The smirk on Emma's face told her she was right, it was another one of her schemes. Since they met, Emma and her boyfriend, Nick, have always tried to set Hailey up, but it never worked. All of Emma's friends were like her, came from old-school Chicago money where Nick just seemed to know everybody, didn't matter what their job was or where they were from.

"Hailey, I say this with nothing but kindness," Emma said, walking forward to grab her arms, forcing the blonde to look at her. "But you need to get laid."

That got a laugh from her, because she was damn right. It had been a while and with the stress the job put her under, she needed something to give her a little satisfaction.

"I'm only going to say this once," Hailey told her. "But you're right."

The redhead smiled even wider before clapping her hands, clearly excited Hailey was going along with her plans. Before she knew what was going on, Emma was dragging her out of her bedroom in the apartment they shared, headed straight to the front door.

"Our ride is almost here," she told Hailey. "And you better not come home alone tonight."

"I make no promises," Hailey said. The sly grin she got made her slightly worried, because Emma was a wild card, that was for sure. There was never any telling what she had up her sleeve, and suddenly, Hailey began to wonder why she agreed in the first place while being a tiny bit excited about the night ahead.

* * *

"Yo, Jay!"

Jay just smiled at his friend, shaking his head because he knew Nick was two beers away from becoming the party boy everyone knew and only some people loved. But as one of his oldest friends, Jay knew what to expect.

They grew up a block away, went to the same schools growing up. Nick's older sister dated his brother Will all through high school, but even after they broke up and Will went to college, he and Nick stayed friends. It was one of the only friendships he maintained through his Army days, the rough patches he had coming back from Afghanistan, all of it. Between him and Mouse, he didn't really have many other friends from his pre-Army life.

"What's up?" he asked, knowing the question was a loaded one. He asked it anyways, mostly to humor himself. It was barely 10 o'clock, so there was a lot of night left to be had of you asked Nick.

"Em said she and one of her friends are going out tonight. I'm meeting them after dinner, and she wants to know if I can drag you along?"

"One of Em's friends?" Jay asked, all while rolling his eyes in his mind. He loved Emma like a sister, she was good for Nick in more ways than he knew. But he knew what kind of friends Emma had, all of them a different variation of a rich socialite, all of them thinking the same thing: he's attractive, maybe good in bed, but they bolt when they learn he's a cop. It was a never-ending pattern and one too many mistakes taught him that nothing good came from one of her friends.

"It's not like that," Nick replied, knowing where Jay's mind was. "Em met her in college, they were roommates and Hailey's been going through some stuff and needed a place to crash."

Hailey, he thought. That was a name he had never heard before. He had known Emma for close to three years now and while he knew that she had a roommate, he had never met her. But somehow, Jay wanted to meet her. Call it intuition, but something in the back of his mind was telling him to go with Nick and meet this Hailey.

"Where are we going?" Jay asked, and his only response from his friend was the shit eating grin that spread across his face.

* * *

Hailey had to admit, this was fun, and it had been a while since she could remember being this carefree about life. It reminded her so much of her days in college, when the only thing that worried her were the criminology and political science courses she was taking, the same ones where she met Emma. But as she looked over at her friend, sipping whatever fruity cocktail was in her hands, she had to thank her for getting her out of this rut.

"So when's Nick supposed to be here?" she asked, her voice louder than normal to break through the rest of the noise in the semi crowded bar. Emma just shrugged before setting her glass down on the table.

"He said he was on his way," Emma answered as she checked her phone. "He said his friend Jay is coming, if you don't mind?"

"Not at all," Hailey replied, because she really didn't mind. Emma's words from earlier rang in her head: it had been a while since she got laid and if anything was gonna come out of tonight, a little fun was quite alright with her. But the cop in her picked up on the casualness of Emma's statement about this Jay. Before, Emma had been bursting at the seams with her hidden plan to get Hailey a man, but the relaxed tone told her something was up, and she would find out.

"So how does Nick know Jay?" she asked. It was an innocent question, because her best friend had been nothing but obvious about wanting to set her up.

"They grew up together," Emma told her. "According to Nick, they were thick as thieves before Jay went away. He's probably the most normal of Nick's friends, if that says anything."

It said a lot, Hailey told herself. It made sense why Nick and Emma were together: both the life of the party, loved having something to do and people to see. Even if they grew up in two different worlds of Chicago, they made sense to everyone that knew them. When Emma first introduced her to Nick, Hailey was weary, because on paper, guys like Nick only go after a girl like Emma for two things: looks and money. But as she got to know them, she would admit she was wrong. In some weird way, they grounded each other.

If only she could be so lucky as to find someone like that.

"Nick!" Emma nearly yelled from across the bar, her hand shooting in the air like a first grader raising their hand for the teacher to call on. Before she had a chance to turn around, Nick was at their table, leaning down to kiss Emma sweetly. Despite the tough exterior she put on, she was happy for her best friend. There had been a lot of wrong guys before she found Nick and seeing her happy made Hailey happy.

"Hailey," Nick said, shaking her from her thoughts as he wrapped her in a hug, kissing her cheek like he always did.

"Good to see you," she replied as he stepped away. Her eyes then found the guy standing beside the blonde man and if she had a mental idea of who this Jay was, the guy standing before her was not at all what she pictured.

"This is Jay," Nick introduced as he turned towards his friend. "Jay, this is Emma's roommate, Hailey."

"Pleasure's mine," Jay told her, reaching his hand out to shake.

"Nice to meet you," she said, her mind amazed she came up with words as her heart was pounding. The green eyes staring back at her were mesmerizing, and she usually wasn't one to find a guy's eyes attractive, but Jay's were different. They were inviting, if she could say that without it being weird. But the smile that spread across his face made her feel something she hadn't in a long time, and it had nothing to do with the fact it was making her cross her legs under the bar.

"Can I get you a drink?" he asked her as Nick moved closer to Emma, clearly leaving she and Jay alone.

"Whiskey, neat," she replied, one of the first tests she had for a guy. Most guys she dated somehow managed to peg her for a cocktail kind of girl. Not to say that she didn't enjoy one when the occasion called for it, but they always ran off when she went straight for the hard stuff.

"A girl after my own heart," Jay told her as he flagged down the bartender. Even if the line was cheesy, Hailey did feel her own heart stop for a moment as she watched Jay order whiskey himself, only on the rocks.

"I take it you don't date a lot of whiskey drinkers?" she asked, suddenly feeling bold with him. He turned to look at her, leaning against the bar where she sat.

"I like a girl that can handle her liquor," he said. "Mostly it tells me all I need to know about you."

"Oh really?" she asked, her hand moving to prop her chin up as she looked back at him.

"Yep," Jay replied and soon after, two whiskeys appeared in front of them, silence falling between them as they took a sip, eyes locked on the other.

"Whiskey tells me you're strong, nothing frilly about you," he explained, and Hailey had to admit he was pretty spot on. "You're simple, maybe a little old-school, but somewhere deep down you have a wild side."

"What does it say about you?" she asked him, not wanting to admit he was right. Jay just shrugged before taking another sip.

"Means I like my women like I like my whiskey," he said, sending a smirk her way that caused a rather uncharacteristic giggle to escape from her.

"So, Jay," she said, setting her glass down and turning on the barstool to face him. "How on earth are you so normal and yet friends with Nick Murphy?"

Jay laughed at her question, nodding slightly as if he agreed. He glanced over her shoulder, probably to find his friend and Emma before looking back at her.

"He's just one of those friends that never seems to leave," he said. "A real pain in my ass that would gladly help me hide a body."

"You should watch what you say around me," she told him. "I'm a cop, and I know where to find that pain in the ass."

"Really?" Jay asked, eyebrows raised in surprise. This was the moment she was dreading, but it had to come out sooner or later. The opening was there for her, and she knew she had a 50/50 shot at him brushing it over and moving on. Clearly, he wasn't moving on.

"Yep," she said, taking another sip of her whiskey. "And before you ask, I can't get you out of a parking ticket."

"I wasn't going to ask," he said, sincerity in his voice. "If anything, I would ask what district you work at."

It was Hailey's turn to raise an eyebrow. Never had she gotten that response. Her silence and confusion must have been telling as Jay continued.

"I'm at the 21st, but I can't say I've seen you around."

"26th district," she replied, tilting her head to the side. "I've gotta say, this is a first."

"What? You've never met a cop before?" he teased, and she had to give it to him. That got a laugh out of her.

"Normally guys I meet do one of two things when I tell them my job," she explained as she held up two fingers to prove her point. "One, they ask me to get them out of parking tickets or, two, they bolt."

"So is there now a third option?" Jay asked, a smirk on his face as he leaned in close to her.

"I suppose so, Officer," she said. "Guess you're the lucky third option."

* * *

Jay couldn't believe the woman in front of him. He had some ideas about whoever he was fixing to meet when he agreed to tag along with Nick, but Hailey was something else. Besides being attractive as hell and just his type, there was something deeper, he could feel it. Every little thing he had learned in the time he had spent talking to her surprised him, but in a good way. She was different, a good different.

The night had been going on as they remained close, talking and drinking and not caring about the other patrons in the bar. At some point, he wasn't sure when, Nick and Emma wandered off. He would expect a text from his friend at some point, but likely not until tomorrow as they were probably off doing something he probably didn't want to know.

"Last call!" he heard the bartender shout, the statement being met with groans from a lot of the other patrons. He turned to ask Hailey if she wanted another drink before he closed their tab, only to be met with her throwing what was left in her glass back.

"Want another for the road?" he asked anyways, earning a laugh from her.

"As a cop, you should know it's illegal to drink and drive," she shot back. She was sassy, he had to give it to her. Not many girls he met went toe to toe with him, but he was impressed with her, as he was with everything else she said.

"But there's nothing wrong with me calling an Uber, right?" he asked. He was probably pressing his luck, but he had to try. It was a 50/50 shot, he knew, because there were two ways this night would end, going home together, or going home alone, and he would selfishly hope it was the first one.

"As long as we're going to the same place," she said, her voice softer and sending his blood rushing through his body. Without another word, he flagged down the bartender, handing him his card before he had a chance to look at the bill. Probably not the smartest thing to do, but the sooner he paid, the sooner he could get out of here with Hailey.

"Your place or mine?" he asked as he waited for the slip. Hailey looked down at her phone, before back at him, a smirk on her face that told him she was pleased with whatever message she just read.

"Emma is at Nick's, so I have my place all to myself," she explained, her voice still soft as she stood up, pressing her body against his as her hand slipped around his waist and into his back pocket. "That is, if you want to come over?"

"Hell yes," he told her, earning a full-blown grin from her. He didn't get a chance to say anything else as his bill was set down in front of him and he had to unfortunately had to pull away from her to sign it. The contact with her body may have been gone, but her hand remained in his back pocket, and he couldn't ever remember if a girl had ever done that to him. It may have seemed old school, but when Hailey did it, it was hot as hell.

"Let's go," he said, turning back to her before he leaned down, pressing his lips against hers. He felt her melt into him, her free arm lazily looping around his neck as she pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. Before he knew it, the kiss turned into something of a make out in the middle of the bar, but it was over as soon as it began, Hailey pulling away to look down at her phone.

"Car's here," she said, looking up at him with nothing but lust and want in her eyes. "Let's go."

Jay kissed her once more before grabbing her hand to pull her behind him. She caught up quickly, the hand that had been in his pocket now curling around his bicep as she pulled herself closer to him, almost like she needed more contact that just holding hands. Not that he would mind in the slightest.

* * *

The headache she woke up with was fairly brutal, the first thought being that she was glad she didn't have to go into work. The second thought was wondering what the hell she did last night.

As she flipped onto her back, her head turned to the other side of the bed, a small smile falling onto her face. So that's what she did last night, or rather who.

The more she woke up, the more Hailey remembered the night before. Them coming back to her apartment, the trail of clothes she was sure created a path between the front door and her bedroom. She remembered every single moment he made her scream, but lost count after five.

At some point, they passed out, but she remembered waking up to him between her legs, his hands and mouth doing delicious things to her. It felt like her body was on fire, and as she laid in bed now, looking at Jay's still sleeping form, the soreness she felt everywhere was the best kind possible.

She made a mental note to give Emma some kind of thank you, because Jay was arguably the best she could have had after the dry spell she was now free from. Her phone chimed once more, and she hoped it wasn't work telling her she needed to be on shift. Turning over, she was the message was just from Emma, asking how her night was. She started typing back, somewhat oblivious to the sheets moving on the other side of her.

"Good morning," Jay said, his voice deep and husky from sleep. One of his arms wrapped around her, his hand sliding dangerously close to the most sensitive part of her body as he tugged her back to him, her bare back pressed against his bare chest.

"Is this morning going to be anything like last night?" she asked, letting herself melt back into his body. His lips found her neck as a moan escaped her.

"If you want it to be," he replied, letting her turn around to kiss him properly.

"I don't have to go to work," Hailey murmured against his lips. She pushed him onto his back before straddling him, the sheet falling off her as hands found her waist, his thumb tracing part of her ribcage.

"What's this mean?" he asked as she realized what he was referring to. The black ink stood out against her tanned skin. Hailey tilted her head, more from the feel of his fingers on her, his thumb moving to the underside of her breast as his index finger traced the letters on her skin.

"It's Greek," she said, gently sitting down on his abdomen. "Means survivor."

"And what did you survive?" Jay said softly. Hailey barely got the words out as his thumb moved up, brushing across her nipple and eliciting a sigh from her.

"That's a story for another time," she mumbled out, her eyes meeting his before traveling lower, her eyes finding black ink of his own among the freckles dotting his chest. Her hand moved to repeat his earlier actions as her finger followed the sharp lines, a contrast to the curves in her own tattoo. "What's this?"

Jay's sigh told her he had his own story, but he looked up at her, his hand moving to grasp her free one, the other falling to her thigh.

"It's my mom's birthday," he told her, the tone of his voice now somber. "She passed away three years ago. I got it on the anniversary of her death."

"I'm so sorry," Hailey told him, reaching up, her hand running through the mess of curls on his head.

"It's hard some days," he said honestly. "Other days, I know she's better, no longer in pain."

"Was she sick?" she asked, getting a nod from Jay.

"Can I make a request?" Jay asked, this time being Hailey's turn to nod.

"Anything," she said.

"Can we talk about something else?" he asked, before sitting up, his lips finding her neck once more before moving lower.

"I would argue this isn't talking," Hailey said, her head tilting back once more. She looked down as Jay's mouth stopped and he looked up at her.

"Then let's do that," he told her as his lips found hers.

* * *

The cold weather was coming early this year to Chicago, and Jay was ready to be anywhere but be in a squad car with a faulty heater. He was convinced he was going to get frost bite in some way, even while he logically knew wouldn't happen.

Working overnights were never fun, especially in the cold wind of this city. But with what he was getting paid, he wouldn't complain about it. The more experience the better, too, considering he had his sights on moving up in the CPD.

The silence in the patrol car was broken by the incoming call on the radio, a car accident a few blocks away. His partner for the night made a joke about their time in the heat being gone, but Jay just rolled his eyes. The guy was nice, but he was older and clearly content with riding out his career right here in a patrol car.

He could tell they got closer as the blue and red lights illuminated the dark streets of Chicago.

"Looks like someone else beat us too it," Jay mumbled, trying to joke back with the other officer. All he got was a chuckle in response before they were parked alongside another patrol car.

Jay surveyed the scene, taking in the two cars crashed into each other, the other officers taking in the scene, one by an ambulance and the other talking to the other driver. It didn't seem to be much of a scene, but the scene wasn't what caught his attention. It was the familiar blonde hair pulled back into a low bun, messy strands falling out of it and peeking from the beanie she wore.

"I'll go this way?" he asked, even while he was heading in the direction of the ambulance. He didn't wait for a response before he had turned and walked away.

"Excuse me," he said as he approached the other officer and one of the victims. He watched as she whipped her head around, obviously recognizing his voice.

"Jay," Hailey whispered before clearing her throat. "Officer Halstead."

"Upton," he replied before motioning with his head towards the scene. "What do we got?"

"The usual," she said. "Texting and driving accident. Miss Stewart here got hit when that guy veered into her lane."

"Are you okay, miss?" he asked the woman sitting on the gurney. She just nodded, shivering under the thin excuse of a blanket they wrapped around her.

"Walk with me?" Jay asked Hailey, smiling slightly when she fell into step beside him.

"What are you doing here?" she asked quietly, slowing her gait as they got further from the ambulance. Jay could see they were within earshot of the other officers, and he didn't want them hearing whatever was about to come from their mouths.

"We got called to the scene, same as you," he told her.

"I know," she answered softly, tucking one of the lose strands back under hear beanie. He wanted to reach out and tuck it back himself, see if her hair was as soft as it was that night two months ago when he tangled his hands in her hair when she was sprawled out on top of him.

"This is weird isn't it?" he finally asked. She just nodded at him, a hint of a smile on her face.

"A little," Hailey replied. "Considering the last time I saw you was in my shower."

Jay just laughed, because he remembered that morning, and that night. He would never admit it to her, but that night was easily the best night of his life. Not just because the sex was amazing, but mostly because of her, Hailey Upton.

"Well then, can I make it not weird?" he asked, the words coming out of his mouth before he could stop himself.

"And how are you going to do that?"

"By asking you out."

The shocked expression on her face was rather comical and he would have laughed if they were not at the scene of a car accident. But he had to admit it was cute seeing her so dumbfounded, like it wasn't what she expected. Not that he had either, but there was a pull to her, something he had never felt with any other woman before in his life. He couldn't say he wasn't a one-night stand kind of guy, because he would be lying, but there had never been someone he wanted to know more about, about who they were as a person, than Hailey.

And because of that, he was wondering if this was the wrong move.

"Look you can say no," he began, suddenly trying to back pedal. "I get if it was a one-night thing, or if this could complicate things, or…"

"Yes," she answered, cutting him off with one word. Jay just stared at her, trying to process as the word didn't seem to fully make it inside his mind, like it was floating in the air between them.

"Yes?" Jay asked, needing to hear it once more from her.

"Yes, I'll go out with you, Jay," Hailey told him, the hint of a smile he saw earlier turning into a full blown one now.

"Perfect," he replied after finding his words. "Let me know your schedule."

"Copy that, Halstead," Hailey said. "And by the way? I hope that wasn't a one-night thing."

All Jay could do was grin back at her, glad that it didn't mean nothing to her, but also trying to think of how he could make this the best date she had ever had.

* * *

The irony of the situation was not lost on her as she stood in her bathroom getting ready. She felt the same she did the night she met Jay, this time maybe a tad more nervous, but not because she was worried he would be intimidated. This time was because she wanted Jay to like her, because ever since he asked her out, she let herself think about this going somewhere that always felt like uncharted territory for her.

Relationships just weren't her thing. The never were and she had grown to accept the fact that they likely wouldn't be. She also wasn't a one-night stand kind of girl, but Jay was the first. But it wasn't as scary as before, the idea of a relationship, even as she chastised herself for thinking this was a relationship or could be. For all she knew he could just be trying to get back into her bed.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when her phone chimed, having been so lost in her thoughts that she forgot the outside world existed. Glancing at the screen, she saw the time and the text from Jay, realizing he was on his way to pick her up. She had a solid 15 minutes before he got here, and she didn't feel anywhere near being ready. This must be what normal women who go on date feel, she thought.

Fifteen minutes felt like seconds because the next thing she knew, there was a knock on her door. She slipped on the black jacket laying on her bed before taking one more look in the mirror. It was now or never, she thought. There was no turning back now.

Hailey could only smile as she opened the door to find Jay standing on the other side, that same boyish smile she had seen a lot that night they spent together. He looked good, maybe better than he did the night they met, somehow making a button down and jeans look much nicer than she would think, despite the heavy coat he had on.

"Hi," she said softly, smiling up at him.

"Hey," he replied, leaning down to kiss her cheek before pulling back. "These are for you."

It was then she noticed one of his hands was behind his back as he pulled out a bouquet of red roses and Hailey decided suddenly that red roses were her favorite flower.

"They're beautiful," she told him, taking them gently and smelling them lightly. "Let me put them in some water and we can head out."

"Yes ma'am," Jay said as he followed her inside. "This is a nice place."

"Thanks," she said with a light laugh. "It's Emma's. I just crash here."

"It's better than my place, that's for sure," he mumbled, eliciting another laugh from her.

"You ready?" she asked, getting no response from Jay except another smile and his hand being held out for her. Hailey took it with zero hesitation, the action feeling oddly normal despite this being a first date.

The car ride to their destination was entertaining, Jay choosing to play a game of 20 Questions to pass the time.

"Favorite animal?" he asked her, and she had to actually think about this one. The earlier questions were simple: favorite food, coffee order, funniest call on patrol. But this one felt more personal in a weird but good way.

"A rabbit," she told him, chuckling slightly from embarrassment. "It's silly."

"No it's not," he said, shaking his head. "Care to share why?"

Hailey sighed as she looked out the window, trying to push the memory from her mind but failing.

"When I was 11, we moved to Lake Forest. My mom knew I was having a tough transition from leaving my old school and friends, so she got me a rabbit. Well, I always said it was a bunny, because it was tiny and fluffy. But it helped more than I think we expected."

Jay was silent, and Hailey was worried she said too much too soon. But he reached over, taking her hand in his and bringing it back over to rest on his thigh, his fingers brushing over her knuckles.

"Mine is a dog," he said, laughing slightly. "It's cheesy, but they are my favorite. There's something about the loyalty dogs have that's different than people, I learned that a lot when I was overseas."

"You were in the military?" Hailey asked, even while she was sure of the answer. It made sense, he carried himself too much like a soldier to not have been.

"Army," he answered, his voice almost stoic. "Rangers to be exact. Did two tours in Afghanistan."

Hailey didn't quite know what to say except she squeezed his hand, prompting him to look over at her while they were stopped. She saw the look in his eyes, knowing he wouldn't say more about his time in the Army. The things he must have seen and maybe done; it was understandable. She'd seen her share of soldiers come home after being deployed, both on and off patrol.

"Thank you," she whispered, her words having a double meaning as she hoped he realized. Thank you for sharing and thank you for his service. All he did was smile back, softer this time, matching the mood that fell within his Jeep.

"We're here, by the way," he told her, causing her to look out the window, not recognizing her surroundings. The buildings around her were different from the typical skyscrapers in Chicago, and the dimming sky made it harder to determine their location. She had become so fixated on trying figure out where they were and cursing her skills as a cop for not helping her pinpoint the location, that she didn't notice Jay get out of the car and open her door.

"Come on," he said softly, holding his hand out to her. She took it, letting him help her out while trying not to fall flat on her face. This is why she rarely wore heels. While she liked the look, the added height didn't always agree with her.

As Jay led them to their destination, she moved closer to him, the chilly wind picking up as the sun set. The closer they got was when she realized it was one of the museums maybe, until he bypassed that for a building that looked similar.

"Now I'm sure you've been here before," he said, even while she didn't know where "here" was. "But I've always loved the aquarium and I wanted to do something that wasn't just dinner and drinks."

Hailey realized then where they were: Shedd Aquarium. Growing up here, she heard about the place but had never been. Her parents always said it was too far into the city to go, and no field trips ever went there. At some point, she just pushed it away, almost forgot it existed. Every now and then it would come up, but it was forgotten just as quickly.

"Actually," she began, as they reached the line to get in. "I've never been here."

For some reason, she expected Jay to look at her like she was crazy, but it never happened. Instead, he just smiled at her, his eyes sparkling like a child.

"Well I'll have to show you the best parts, right?" he said, and it was her turn to smile then.

They made it through the line and Jay led her all over the place, pointing out his favorite animals and exhibits, teaching her more than she maybe ever wanted to know about some animals. At some point, she stopped paying attention to what he was saying, just taking the time to let this all sink in, the entire date and how amazing of a guy Jay Halstead was.

"Hailey?" she heard, causing her to snap out of her thoughts to turn towards him.

"Yes?" she replied.

"I have one more surprise for you," Jay said, tugging her along by the hand he hadn't let go of since they got out of his car. He wove his way through the crowds expertly as she followed along before they were outside some door she hadn't seen before.

"What are we doing?" she asked, confused and intrigued by what was going on. She didn't have to wait long before she was greeted by someone who seemed to work here.

"Mr. Halstead?" the man asked. Jay just nodded before offering his hand to shake. "I'm Jeff."

"Jay," he replied before pulling her closer. "And this is Hailey."

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Halstead," he said, a blush forming on her face as she heard the name.

"Oh, I'm not…" she began, not sure how to explain this. But Jeff just smiled at her apologetically.

"My apologies," he said. "Shall we begin?"

Jay just nodded, following Jeff as he leaned down to whisper to her.

"Sorry," he told her. "I had to give your name and there wasn't an option for a last name."

"No worries," she replied before listening to Jeff's monologue. She soon gathered they were going on what must be a private, behind the scenes tour of the aquarium, all while still being in awe of how well Jay planned this. Most guys she dated didn't put much effort into a date, but she was thoroughly impressed.

This had easily become the best date she had been on, and it wasn't even over. Even while she stood beside Jay, listening to Jeff talk about all the animals at the aquarium, all she could focus on was Jay and how easy it was to be around him and just be her in all the ways that mattered. Because at the end of the day, that's what was important, the fact that she could, for once, enjoy dating without the worry that her job would get in the way. And she never would have guessed that it would have taken Jay Halstead, a fellow cop, to make her feel the way she did.

* * *

**Hope you all enjoyed! Wanted to use the break between the seasons to establish their relationship more before we dive back into storylines. Thank you again for all the support on this story! It is so fun to write and reimagine, so the fact that you guys love it will help me continue writing this and my other stories! **


	6. Chapter 6

Jay didn't dare look out the window again, knowing the sun and warm air was taunting him with how perfect it was outside, as he was inside a home that should be filled with nothing but love. But now, it felt more like a sterile house, a place where they slept and showered.

Even if they were sleeping in different beds.

This was never what he wanted, but he knew somewhere along the way, he had broken Hailey's trust. He never slept with Erin, never even thought of it even with all the subtleties she threw his way. He had seen his dad sleep around on his mom, saw what it had done to their marriage and the effect it had on he and Will. He knew Hailey's own upbringing, knew trust didn't come easy for her, all the more reason he never wanted to do anything that would cause her to doubt him.

For now, they would go to work and do their jobs, before coming home and trying to repair the cracks in the foundation. It would be hard on them both, especially him, but he was determined. He wouldn't let her leave, or even think about it, because that would be the thing that absolutely broke him.

"Jay?" she said from the hall, breaking him from his mind.

"Kitchen," he replied, and seconds later, she appeared, hands working to pull her hair back into a ponytail. He silently slid the coffee cup across the island, a peace offering of sorts, and it managed to work as he got a smile in return, one of those that she reserved only for him.

"Thanks," she replied, her eyes meeting his briefly before breaking away, spotting her gun and badge sitting on the counter beside his own. "I wondered where those were this morning."

The last sentence was mumbled under her breath, but she knew he caught it, as her eyes shot back up to meet his, a twinge of regret hidden beneath them.

"I'm sorry," they managed to say at the same time, smiling despite the awkwardness in their kitchen.

"I'm sorry," Jay repeated. "Force of habit."

It was a habit that was engrained in them from the day they moved in together, whoever got up first usually grabbed the other's gun and badge.

"It's okay," Hailey answered, her voice soft. "I should have known you would have done that, you always do. Stupid hormones."

Jay's head shot up at that comment, not wanting to voice his train of thought. Too many times had they been disappointed, and it would be fate that would have dropped this into their laps at a time like this. Hailey was quick to notice her slip up, surprised eyes meeting surprised eyes before she bit her lip and shook her head.

"I started my period yesterday," she told him, guilt in her voice for leading him on for the five seconds between her last words.

For a brief moment, the awkward tension vanished as they stood there, two people trying for a baby. In the back of their minds, they knew the chances of Hailey being pregnant were slim since they hadn't shared the same bed in close to two months, with the exception of one night a few weeks back after a hard case. They didn't regret it, but they both stayed quiet about the fact that maybe it could happen.

But now, they were back to where they had been, what was their new normal, despite them both hating it. Jay didn't know, but Hailey cried when she realized she started her period, knowing this would be another in a long list of disappointment. It had been almost a year, and the questions were beginning to plague her mind.

"Are you okay?" Jay asked. He knew she was taking this hard, had been every single time they got some sign that she wasn't pregnant. Maybe it was the universe's way of saying not now, that they have enough on their plate.

"I don't know," she said softly. "It's just disappointing."

Jay didn't speak, couldn't but all he felt was right to do was walk around to her, pulling her in close to him. He felt her arms immediately wrap around him, her face buried in his chest as he kissed the top of her head. Their walls were down, and right now, all of the problems seemed to melt away, because they seemed small compared to this. This was a line of disappointment that started before their current problems, and they both knew how heavily this was weighing on the other.

Before either could say anything else, their phones started going off. They stepped apart, both grabbing their work phones and moving across the room from each other, a system they'd put in place when they both got called in. Voight was on the other line with Hailey while Al called Jay, both conversations lasting mere seconds before they hung up, grabbing everything they needed and rushing out the door.

* * *

The events of the morning had become both a blur and a movie that played over and over in his head, and now, staring at Hailey with blood over most of her shirt, he couldn't process much of it. He could still hear her voice from the drive over, begging and pleading with the little girl in her arms to hold on, that they were almost to the hospital and they would do everything they could.

She seemed to avoid everyone and everything, him included, as they waited for someone to give them some kind of update. He offered to come get her if he heard anything, to let her have a chance to wash the blood off her forehead and arms, but she refused. Jay couldn't blame her, because he would have done the exact same thing.

Finally, he saw his brother approaching him, giving him a chance to focus on something other than the near catatonic state Hailey seemed to be slipping into. Later he would make sure she was alright, get her a new shirt and throw this one away, but now they had a job to do.

"She's in bad shape," Will said, nodding his head in a way that Jay knew meant "walk with me". Will did that a lot whenever he came to bug him at Med, and it was engrained in him by now. "But we're doing everything we can."

"What are the odds?" Hailey asked, voicing the question that was on the tip of his tongue. Will glanced back at his brother's wife, the look on Hailey's face almost pleading Will to tell her something good.

"Like I said, we're doing everything we can," Will repeated, his doctor voice present.

"We know," Jay jumped in. "What about the other two victims? Are they okay?"

Will returned the file he had to the nurse, before verbalizing what he implied earlier.

"Walk with me," he told them both, leading them further back into the ED. "James Pell, the bullet grazed his leg. He's fine, we're just finishing up some paperwork."

"Hey, what about the other victim?"

The look Will gave him told him all he needed to know as he cursed himself for even asking.

"She didn't make it, dead on arrival," he told them before entering the small room. He briefly glanced at Hailey, both of them knowing this just got harder with one dead.

"I gotta sign the papers, or can I go now?" the man asked, presumably this James Pell that his brother just mentioned.

"Just sit tight," Will told him before leaving them alone.

"Mr. Pell, we'd like to talk to you about what happened earlier today," Hailey asked, taking the lead here.

"I got shot in the leg, that's what happened," Pell answered, and Jay already had a feeling this guy would be difficult.

"Did you see the men who shot you?" Jay asked.

"No," he answered as Hailey pressed on, picking up where he left off.

"Not even a quick glimpse?" she asked before Pell stopped them both.

"Look, Officer, I was just involved in a traumatic incident," he explained. "I'm still in a state of shock. So, please, no more questions."

"All right," she said, backing off the guy. "We'll get your contact information. Call you later on."

Pell just nodded somewhat grateful. Jay still had a bad feeling about the guy, but he said it himself, he could still be in shock. They left the room without another word, stopping to tell the nurse outside the room they needed whatever contact info was listed as Hailey followed, her body language reverting back to the state she was in minutes before.

"Hey," he said, turning towards her as she did the same. "We're like a minute from the house. Do you want to stop for coffee at the café down the block and I'll drop you off to change?"

He knew how she got when this happened, she shut down, and right now he could see she needed a plan, one he was happy to give her.

"Yeah," she answered. "That sounds perfect."

Jay could hear the relief in her voice, and he was glad he could help, even if just for a second, and give her some sense of normalcy, to get them both back on track with this case. Maybe this could be it, this could be the turn-around point that would help them get back to normal, or somewhat normal. Whatever it may be, he craved it, because he had seen glimpses of a life without Hailey, and he didn't like it at all.

* * *

Voight's words were still ringing in his head and somewhere in his mind, he kept hoping that it wasn't true, that it couldn't be true, that there was another option where the bullet that hit Morgan didn't come from his gun.

But he knew that was impossible, because bullets don't lie, and now as he sat in his truck, all he could do was wait and pray that Hailey would stick by him. It was already bad enough that the guilt about Morgan was pressing on him, near suffocating him that he knew he wouldn't survive if Hailey pulled away.

The sound of the door opening caused his head to turn, spotting Hailey climb into the passenger seat. This entire day was too much and he felt himself being pulled under the surface.

"Hey what's wrong?" she asked, closing the door behind her. She turned in her seat quickly, bringing her legs up to completely face him in the tiny space she was in.

"I shot her," he said without warning, needing to get the words out. "I shot Morgan."

"Jay," she said softly, her eyes filling with the tears he almost wished he had.

"Gun barrels don't lie," he repeated from earlier. "Shooting team is calling me in later, IRT maybe. And everything with these auditors, I…"

"Jay," Hailey said. "Babe, breathe."

It was then he realized that he was nearly hyperventilating and could sense the impending panic attack coming on. He just stared back at Hailey, watching her own chest rise and fall as he tried to mimic her. She had sensed and coached enough of his panic attacks that all it took was one word and one look.

Hours could have passed before he felt slightly calmer. His mind was still going a mile a minute and he knew it wouldn't stop until this case was over, maybe. Before she got here, he prayed like hell that she would be okay, because he didn't dare thing about what would happen if she wasn't.

"Tell me exactly what happened," she said calmly. "Who told you?"

"Voight called me into his office," he told her, answering her question. "Said he talked to ballistics, and the bullet that hit Morgan was a nine-millimeter. Bangers were firing .45s and it couldn't have been them. Gun got tested and it was a match."

"What's the next step?" she asked. In a way, he was glad for the questions, and she knew exactly what she was doing in asking them.

"I talk to everyone and we hope I don't get fired or arrested."

"That isn't going to happen," Hailey quickly said. "You know that. You did not purposely shoot her, you didn't even know that daycare center was there, so there was absolutely no way you knew what could happen."

"But Hails," he began before she cut him off.

"Here's the plan. You don't talk to anyone but me and Voight."

"Will knows," he interrupted.

"Or Will," she amended. "You have nothing to worry about if all of that is true. You're a good cop Jay, the best I know, and there is no way that all would have happened on purpose. It was an accident and they can't charge you for that."

Everything she was saying was true, he knew that deep down, but it didn't help that there was still that voice in his head, that little shred of doubt that maybe this would be his last case and that the only time he would see his wife was in a visiting room at Stateville.

"Everything is going to be okay," she told him. "I've got your back, and so does this team."

"Are we going to be okay?" he asked, his voice small and scared. He needed her to say it, say something to prepare himself for the worst, because he wasn't sure what would break him: Morgan dying or Hailey leaving.

"Yes," Hailey said, and that was all he needed. He would stay strong, for her, for their marriage, and use that one word as motivation to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

* * *

Just when he felt like the day couldn't be any worse, of course it got worse.

Kim's words cut him like a knife and after that, all he needed to do was get to Med. Will told him she would be fine, and now? He wasn't sure what he would say when he got to Med, but he needed to hear it from Will.

The drive was never ending, and he would probably get his ass handed to him for doing a million things he probably shouldn't, but he could bring himself to care. Jay wasn't sure where he parked, all he knew was that he needed to get to the ED. A few nurses asked him if he was okay, but he ignored them all in his search for Will.

He found his brother in the middle of the ED, and he could see the realization on Will's face as he made his way over.

"I was just about to call you," Will said and Jay instantly hated that he was using the voice he used with patients and their families.

"You said she was gonna make it," Jay interrupted but before he could finish, he felt Will's hand on his arm, dragging him into an empty room.

"Hey," Will tried, and Jay could sense he was trying to calm him down. But this wasn't going to work.

"You said she was gonna…" Jay tried again before Will interrupted this time.

"Hey, I said she had a chance, okay?" Will said. "She was in bad shape, lost too much blood."

"I know," he sighed. He knew Will did all he could, and that gunshot wounds were finicky, and all the praying in the world may not have enough.

"There's only so much we can do," Will tried once more, but Jay couldn't take it anymore. Everything was becoming too much. The feeling like he was drowning was back and he felt the beginning of a panic attack, and all he needed in that moment

"I know," he mumbled.

"I'm sorry," his brother said but words were no longer processing. Across the ED, he saw Morgan's parents, and something seemed to snap. His feet carried him out of the room, wanting to talk to them, wanting to apologize. But at the last second, he bailed. He couldn't face them, not yet.

"Hey," he heard Will say, but as quickly as he got to Med, he needed to get out, he needed to find Hailey, needed someone to ground him.

He really needed this day to be over.

Jay tried to call Hailey, but the way his hands shook trying to grip his phone was worrisome. It hadn't been this bad since he got home from Afghanistan, and it just made the panic rise inside of him.

In the first good thing of the day, he spotted his truck when he reached the lot outside of Med. He subconsciously left the lights on, and it was maybe a miracle no one had stolen his truck. As he slid into the seat, he just let his head fall back against the headrest, taking a second to just breathe, but even that seemed to be hard.

He tried once more to call Hailey, briefly remembering he could just use the commands on his phone, and soon after he heard her voice filling the cab of his truck.

"Jay?" she asked, her voice soft. He closed his eyes, just letting the sound of her saying his name fall over him, something good that could come out of today.

"Jay are you okay?" she asked, and he realized then he wasn't saying anything.

"Yeah," he answered, his voice rougher than normal. "I'm at Med."

The silence on the line was brief, but he could picture her nodding in reply.

"I heard Jay," she finally said. "I'm so sorry."

That's what broke him, when something inside him changed and the weight of everything, this case, Morgan, his marriage, came crashing down on him.

"Hailey," he managed to get out, her name a lifeline to him, something to remind him of who he was and why he did this.

"It's going to be okay," she told him. "Do you want to know how I know?"

"Yes," he breathed out. If he could have some sense from her that it would be alright, that one small aspect of his life was okay, then maybe he could believe it would be.

"Because you are the best cop I know," Hailey said. "Because I have your back, every single second, and I trust you with my life. I know things are rough right now with us, but that doesn't change the fact that I trust you, Jay."

Her words, while some was more of a harsh truth, he knew she was telling the truth. Everything was so wrong, so messed up, but that was enough to give him a little bit of hope.

"I know, babe," he finally said. "I know."

* * *

"You wanted to see me?" Jay asked, poking his head into his boss's office. Voight just motioned him in without saying much else, Jay taking the silent directive to close the door behind him.

"Talked to Alderman Price today," Voight began, setting the file down on his desk to look him in the eye. "He is going to back off on you."

The sigh of relief coming from Jay was both expected and unexpected. He didn't realize how much this was weighing on him until now, but knowing that he wouldn't lose his job, or Hailey, or his sanity. It may be another death he had to carry, but there was some comfort in knowing it was a freak thing, that it was not intentional.

"Thank god," he mumbled, his head falling into his hands. "Do I dare ask how this happened?"

"Let's just say that Price was persuaded," Voight told him cryptically. "That any future political moves could be impacted."

Jay just nodded, understanding of his boss's words. He got it now, how this unit worked, how Voight worked. His younger self, a somewhat naïve newly minted detective, had issues with the way Voight worked, because his Army days had trained him to see the world in black and white. But the longer he had stuck around, the more he began to realize the nitty gritty of Chicago politics, that the majority of things happened behind closed doors in hushed conversations. At times, he didn't like it, but it had, over the years, become easier to accept.

A knock on the door interrupted the silence, both men turning their heads to see who it was. The doorknob turned slightly, and Jay saw a peak of blonde hair that had fallen from her ponytail as his body went rigid.

"You wanted to see me?" she asked, her eyes locking with his own briefly before looking back at Voight.

"Yeah come in," Voight told her, and just like that, Jay assumed the conversation was over.

But man was he wrong.

"Stay, Halstead," Voight told him, the tone of his voice telling him something was up. He didn't dare look at Hailey for fear Voight would figure it all out, but it helped that she walked behind him to the empty chair on his left.

The older man looked at them both, and Jay was sure this was how it felt to be in an interrogation room with Hank Voight. Every hair on his body stood up, his nerves through the roof as he tried to figure out why he needed to talk to them both. The case was closed, they were getting into a routine with being partners, all while keeping what felt like the biggest secret ever. Their boss casually leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms as he continued to stare them down.

"So, when were you going to tell me?" he asked, and it was then that Jay looked at his wife, silently letting her take the lead on all of this.

"Tell you what?" Hailey asked, looking back at Voight.

"That you're married," he stated, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Jay just leaned back, not even trying to fuss with hiding it. He could hear Hailey sigh, knowing that she was feeling the same way.

"How long have you known?" she asked him. The secret was out, and they both knew it would happen sooner or later, especially now that Erin had left, and Voight had paired them together.

"Since the day you transferred in," he told them, something of a smirk on his face. "I was just hoping one of you would tell me."

"It's not that we were keeping it some secret," Jay said. "We just didn't know how to explain it."

"A lot has happened lately," Hailey chimed in. "And we talked about it and wanted to wait for the dust to settle."

They watched as Hank just nodded before sitting back up, his arms resting on his desk.

"Part of me was waiting for one of you to slip up," Voight said. "Because I wanted to see if you two could work together, despite being married, before I decide to shuffle up partnerships across the unit."

"And?" Jay asked, suddenly needing to know if there would be more changes in his life.

"I'm going to leave it be for now," he told them. "But one slip up, and one of you is done. Is that clear?"

They both just nodded before looking at each other, clear relief on their faces knowing that Voight knows, that they didn't have to keep this under wraps. They may have to for the sake of their unit, but it was Voight they were the most worried about.

"I do have one question," he said, breaking their attention from the other as they fixated back on their boss. "How did you do it?"

"What do you mean?" Hailey asked, and Jay was equally as confused by the statement.

"I'll be honest with you both," Voight said. "I didn't know you were married until I got your file, Hailey and found Jay listed as your beneficiary. I'll tell you this, it's buried deep, and considering you two have never seemed to have crossed paths until now? I'm not sure anyone would have known."

Until he mentioned it, Hailey forgot Jay was listed as a beneficiary, that he got everything in the event something happened to her. Being married will do that to you, you just assume everything gets left to your spouse in the event something happens. But Voight was right, in the nearly six years they've been together and the four they've been married, the only time they've managed to cross paths was the night Jay asked her out. It wasn't uncommon for cops to be married to one another, they've met plenty on the job, but it took something special to manage the careers they've built themselves that has given them both a spot in one of the most elite units of the department.

"So, what now?" Hailey asked, and Jay could sense her nerves. She just got here, so she would be the first to go and Jay knew what this opportunity meant to her. Even if she got a few months under her belt, she would be hit with an offer left and right. Hailey was a damn good cop, the kind most would kill for to have in their units, and he knew Voight knew that as well.

"I'm going to overlook it, because you're a damn good cop, Hailey," Voight told her, unknowingly echoing Jay's thoughts. "But with Woods sniffing around and all these new reform programs, I'm not sure I'll be able to keep one of you here if the higher ups find out."

"What's the plan?" Jay asked. They needed something, something concrete that could protect them all, and if anyone could pull this off, having a married couple who happen to be partners in the same unit, it was Hank Voight.

"Like I said, the beneficiary paperwork is buried deep in your file Hailey, and I'm confident they would only look in the event something happened, so let's hope it doesn't come to that," Voight explained. "So, for now, it's business as usual. I will let you tell the unit on your time but considering the fact I'm not sure they know either, it may be wise to keep it under wraps, at least until these reform programs and changes die down."

"Do you think they will?" Hailey asked.

"I've been around here long enough to know that it's only a matter of time until another scandal erupts," he told them. "So, let's not make it the two of you."

* * *

His boss seemed to have some direct line to his mind, as he once again replayed every word from the second conversation he had in Voight's office for the day. They were on repeat in his mind the entire time he stood behind Price at that press conference. While he should have felt relieved that Voight knew about he and Hailey, there was an added amount of pressure to them now.

But it also motivated him even more to fix everything, because he refused to let them bring their personal life into the job, to mess everything up. Even now, as he walked back towards his car, he tried to come up with something, anything, that he could do or say to change it all. This case had shifted something inside them, he could feel it, and he knew he wasn't alone, that Hailey felt it too.

"Hey," he heard Hailey say before he saw her. The tiny bit of disappointment inside of him over the fact that she wasn't at the press conference was gone when he saw the look on her face. She was upset she couldn't be here, but that wasn't her fault. They had other cases, and he knew she had been working overtime this past week trying to also wrap up a Robbery-Homicide case.

"Hey," he echoed, as it was all he could really say in the moment.

"Sorry," Hailey apologized, quickly falling into step with him. "I got here as fast as I could. It's over?"

"Yeah, just ended," he told her, his eyes falling to the ground. Jay wanted to say more, but she jumped in before he could.

"How'd it go?"

That was the question of the hour, of the case if he was honest. Everything was so messed up, so wrong, and he was sure that if it wasn't for Hailey, despite everything going on, he would have gone off the deep end much earlier. If he was honest, he got over Erin leaving months ago. But the tension and distance between he and Hailey was what kept him up at night.

"It was good," he finally answered, voicing his feelings before he ever grasped them. He looked over at Hailey, the concern and questioning clear in her eyes.

"Really good, actually," Jay elaborated, knowing she would pry until he gave her a straight answer. He also couldn't lie to her, had never been able to. "Price was very gracious. I'm not really sure what prompted all this, but…"

"Hey, take yes for an answer," she cut him off as the stood in front of his Jeep. It was a weird feeling, everything was, but the fact that he wasn't here on official business, just stood far enough in the background of the press conference to show that he was innocent, while protecting him too. It was unlike anything he had experience in all his years here, but the department needed a good look, and this was the best they could do.

There was silence between them as they stared at each other. Words had never been hard for either of them, but right now, he was afraid if he opened his mouth, the wrong thing would come out, and that could only put more distance between them.

"And you?" Hailey asked, dropping her arms from where they were crossed in front of her body. "Are you okay?"

Jay just looked down, and he was surprised to see her wedding band on. The engagement ring was gone, the simple silver band remaining. It was the first time she had worn it by itself around him, at work. He knew she wore it all the time back in Robbery-Homicide, had it on the day she waltzed into the bank. But when she first started working in Intelligence, her finger was bare.

Now it was back, and maybe he should take that as a sign that everything would be okay. It was all he needed for now.

"I don't know," he told her honestly. "I don't think I've fully processed it yet. In all my years, back since I was in the Army, I've never hit a civilian. And now, I just don't know what to do."

It was always easy to open up to Hailey, had been from the moment he met her, and the events of the past few days lit a fire in him, slowly burning but not yet ignited. He could see the divide between them, could feel it both at home and at work. For a brief second, he was worried he would lose his job, his life and maybe even Hailey. It was when he realized the last one was the one thing he couldn't stand to lose when he realized he had to do something.

What that was, he didn't know yet. All he knew was that he would have to try, to show Hailey that he could be the man she married, the man she vowed to spend the rest of her life with, for the good and the bad, right and wrong.

For better or for worse.

"Talk to Morgan's mother yet?" Hailey said, interrupting his thoughts. He looked back at her, as best he could with the sun glaring into his eyes. He tried not to think about how it managed to make her blonde hair even brighter, giving it an ethereal effect.

"No," he answered. "I don't think I'm ready."

"Oh, babe," she said, shaking her head lightly. "You're never gonna be ready. You just have to do it."

Her words had somewhat of a double meaning to him, even if she didn't intend to do it. He would just have to do it, to try and fix their marriage and get back to the place they were before.

"I'll see you at home," she said softy, her hand reaching out to grasp his briefly. It shouldn't have caused him to realize this was the first time she had touched him since that night, that she initiated any contact, and that only fueled the fire inside of him.

* * *

The sight of his house was a welcome one after the past 24 hours. The press conference, Voight finding out they were married, all on top of the entire case; all he wanted to do was sleep for the next two days, but he knew that wasn't possible.

The car keys on the entry table told him she was home, and that would always be his first priority. Jay could see the stress eating away at her, and while he was the cause of it, he would make damn sure it didn't continue to happen. Hailey had kept her worries buried deep down during this case, knowing he needed to support, but he couldn't let her think he had forgotten everything else.

"Hailey!" Jay called out, letting her know he was both home and looking for her.

"In here," he heard, her voice soft and quiet, a clue that she was close to the entry way, probably curled up on the couch in the back of the house. Sure enough, that's where he found her, a bottle of whiskey sitting on the coffee table in front of her.

"Hey," he said softly, grabbing an extra glass on the way to her. The tension was thick as he poured himself a glass before settling down on the couch beside her.

He didn't know what to say, or even where to begin. Their case was closed, the adrenaline they had been running on was gone, and it just left themselves and a million questions inside them. He knew her well enough that she could just stay silent until he was forced to end it, as she usually did when his emotions steeped for too long.

"I returned Morgan's necklace to her mom," Jay said, his eyes staring down at the ground. "She didn't say anything."

"No offense, but you're the probably the last person she expected to see, maybe even wanted to see," she said. Jay just nodded, because even as her words stung a little, it was the truth. His actions lately had been all over the place, and while he knew he didn't intend to kill that little girl, he would still feel responsible for the rest of his life.

"I deserve it," he whispered. Jay wasn't sure Hailey heard him, but he soon felt her shift on the couch to move closer to him. The boundaries they had seemed to crumble, but it was hard to give into it, knowing there were still things to talk through.

"No, you don't Jay," Hailey said, her voice soft in that way she only did with him. "I know things have been hard lately, but do not think for one second that you shot her, that you did this, because you didn't. And you are too good of a man to have to carry around that burden for the rest of your life.

"But I will," he said, finally looking up to look at her. He could see the tears forming in her eyes as he felt his own slip down her face. "The bullet from my gun killed her. That's a fact. The details don't matter."

"Yes, they do," she told him, her hand reaching out to settle on his forearm, squeezing lightly. "You do not deserve this."

Jay just nodded, knowing that arguing with her would go in circles. He appreciated her trying to help, he really did, but he just wasn't in the headspace to handle this right now.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, realizing that all of this was being weighed down by what was going on at home, with them. They hadn't talked about it since Erin left, and getting thrown into this new partnership with each other didn't help the situation. But they couldn't say anything, not without telling the unit they were married. So, here they were, living this double life where they were partners on the job, working well with each other, while at home, they were a wreck.

"I know things haven't been normal, or good for that matter, but I just don't know what to do."

That was the truth, and he needed to tell her. Now seemed like as good a time as any, as tomorrow they had to go back to work, back pretending like they were only partners, like their life outside of the CPD wasn't the way it was, except now, their boss knew, and the added pressure hung over them.

"Me neither," Hailey told him. "There wasn't ever a good time to bring it up, but we have to talk about it sooner rather than later."

Jay looked up at her then, hoping that she could see how sorry he was, how gutted he was by all of this, not knowing how it would affect them, or how to fix it. Hailey just stared back at him, before moving backwards and that's when he got scared, scared that he had fucked up beyond repair, that there was no way back from this.

"Lift up your shirt," she told him suddenly, her hands reaching for the hem of his shirt. She pulled his shirt up to reveal his ribcage, her fingers tracing the black ink that stood out on his side, the ink below his mother's birthday.

"This," she told him, tapping the spot gently. "This is the most important thing to me. I don't ever want you to think this job, or my place in Intelligence, or whatever else comes our way, is more important than that. Because it's not."

"Hailey," he tried before she shut him up.

"You and I both grew up with parents whose marriages were tough. I told myself the day I married you I wouldn't let that happen to us, and I still mean that. So, if this is going to work, I need you to be honest with me."

He was transported back to the day he got it. She had talked him into it, remembering something he said once about how when he got his mother's tattoo, he envisioned doing the same for his future wife, his kids, important dates. And just like he expected, she went with him, watching as another important date in his life got added to his body, permanently.

June 22, 2013, their wedding day.

It was a calming sensation of sorts to feel her fingertips trace over the lines, almost like she was helping him to remember, not that he needed it. Every second of that day was etched into his memory, and he hoped he would never lose it.

"Total honesty," he whispered, opening his eyes that had closed at some point to find her blue ones staring back.

"Total honesty," she repeated back to him before standing up, taking his hand in his. He could tell where she was going before she took than a few steps.

"Hailey…" he began. As much as he wanted to be back in their bed with her, he didn't want this conversation to be the one that led them back together.

"I know," she replied, always knowing what he was thinking. "But I think we both need this tonight. After today, who knows what will happen tomorrow? There's a lot to talk about, but we are both exhausted, and I know you haven't been sleeping well."

She was right, he wasn't sleeping well, and not because of the case, but the ever-present tension that always seemed to be brewing between them.

"Thank you," he whispered. It was a small gesture, and their conversation didn't magically fix the problems between the. But he hoped it was a start, and tomorrow they could wake up maybe feeling better, a little lighter. But for tonight, his body could pretend things were okay, even for one night, to allow them both the sleep the desperately craved.

There was one thing he knew in that moment, and that was neither of them was giving up. Everything with Erin and Intelligence and now this case was still around, but it wouldn't end them. If he was honest, Jay wasn't sure anything could end them, and that belief was something he would hold onto for as long as he needed, the belief would be his motivation to make himself better for the sake of their marriage, but more important, for Hailey.

* * *

**It is still Wednesday! Did you guys think i would forget? Things are starting to move as we started to delve into season 5, but quick note, I likely won't do a chapter for every episode, but i will for those that have a heavy Jay/Hailey storyline. Hints are also starting to drop about where this will go, so stay tuned! **

**Hope everyone is safe and alright, and I hope these stories can bring a little happy to your days! **


	7. Chapter 7

"Good morning," Hailey said as she spotted Jay coming into the kitchen. A quick glance at the clock on the stove told her they had about 15 minutes before they had to leave, enough time for them to get some food into their systems and as much coffee as they needed.

"Good morning," Jay replied, making his way towards the coffee pot. She caught the small smile on his face when he saw the empty coffee mug and his much-loved almond milk beside it. It was something small she could do, knowing the pressure they had been under, both at work and here at home.

It had been almost a month since that little girl died, and while he hid it well, Hailey could see Jay was still struggling. She also knew that their current situation wasn't helping, but truthfully, she wasn't sure where to go from here. There was not an option to ignore it all, but she also wished things could go back to normal. She could see how Jay was taking responsibility for everything, even when it wasn't really his fault.

The fear was still there, that one day she wouldn't be able to get out. It wasn't that she felt Jay would hurt her, she knew with every part of her that he never would do that, but she didn't want to be stuck in a marriage like her parents, where everything felt comfortable and neither could find a way back to each other. Every single time she crawled under her bed when her dad was in one of his moods, she promised herself that she wouldn't marry someone that didn't love her, that didn't protect her. Jay did that, and even now he still did that, and she knew he always would.

It's one of the reasons why she loved him.

"Hey," she said suddenly, prompting him to turn around from where he stood stirring his coffee. She had to will her brain to refocus, struck by the fact Jay was wearing the jacket she got him for his birthday. It was the first time she'd seen it on him, and she couldn't lie but he looked good. "How are you feeling?"

Jay studied her, like he was thinking there was only one answer she would accept before shrugging, his universal answer of "I don't know."

"Good," he finally settled on, but she could tell he was lying.

"Yeah?" she asked. "You know I'm here…"

"I know," Jay told her, walking around the island to stand in front of her. She watched as he set his coffee down before reaching to hold her hand. "Believe me, I know I can dump this all on you, but…"

"You don't want to burden me," she finished for him. Hailey knew how her husband's mind works, understood more than anyone that it was hard to drop your problems on someone else, even if you were married to them.

"It's my shit to figure out," he said. "I guess I'm just still processing it all, like it hasn't really settled in that this happened."

"I get that," Hailey said. "But, Jay, please, don't bottle this up forever. I know you, and I know you will and it will come back to bite you in the ass. If it's not me, talk to someone, please."

She didn't care she was all but begging him to talk to someone, hoping he could get it through his thick skull that she really was in his corner, that she didn't want to watch him wither away to that place she knew he retreated to when things got bad, when cases got tough.

"I will," he said, squeezing her hand. "I just need to sort it out first."

Hailey just nodded before the conversation was broken up by the sound of Jay's phone ringing. There would only be one reason for a call this early before work, and as she watched Jay retreat to grab his phone, she picked up both their mugs to place in the sink. That could wait until they got home.

She didn't want to admit it, but part of her knew Jay wasn't being honest about how he was doing about the shooting. All of the CPD cleared him of wrongdoing, but she could still see him carrying the burden around. She knew when he was lying, knew that he was telling the truth about Erin all those months ago. But that wasn't the problem now. Now it was the fact she felt the walls closing in and crumbling, that one of these days, Jay would leave, or worse, that they would continue with this pattern they found themselves in, sleeping in separate rooms, having to have short conversations that got them nowhere.

There was no doubt in her mind he loved her, but she could see the struggles. All she could hope for was that he would talk to someone, now more than ever as she felt the shooting set them back two steps after propelling them forward only one. She hated this, all of this, but the only thing she could do was be here for him when the dam finally broke.

Her thoughts were once more interrupted by her husband, this time the sound of his feet running and the sharp tone in which he spoke to who she assumed was Voight. As he came into view, she could see the wild look in his eyes, telling her something was wrong, really wrong.

"Bombing at a street festival," he quickly said, handing over her gun and badge, having already clipped on his. "The same one Burgess, Ruzek and Atwater were working."

"Let's go," she said, grabbing her keys that sat on the island next to Jay's, tossing him his own set as he headed for the door. It felt weird to be going to the same place in one car, but it was for appearance's sake she supposed.

"Get in," she heard Jay say, causing her head to turn towards him. His truck was behind her Jeep but she saw and heard his urgency.

"Hailey, get in the truck," he told her and it didn't take much else before she grabbed her bag from her car as Jay started the engine and flipped the lights on.

"We can explain it later," he said as she settled into the passenger seat. "You're my partner anyways."

"And I'm yours."

The words had a double meaning, but as he turned his head towards her, she knew he got it. This wasn't over yet, their marriage, them. Not just yet.

* * *

"Hey!" she heard, his voice raised slightly.

Hailey jumped, not used to hearing Jay shout towards her. She was quick to spin around, finding him in the doorway of the kitchen. Gone was the jeans he was wearing earlier and replaced by sweatpants, the black t-shirt likely the one he wore to work.

"You okay?" he asked her, concern written all over his features. She both loved and hated the look he was giving her.

"I'm fine," she replied, setting the glass down on the counter.

"Slamming the cabinets doesn't make it sound like you're fine," Jay said. He had a point, she wasn't fine, but she wouldn't admit it. It was her problem, not his.

"Do you want one?" she asked him. Liquor was much needed right now, and he may as well join her in drowning her sorrows.

"Sounds good," Jay said, walking towards the small bar area they had set up. "Whiskey or tequila?"

"Surprise me."

Hailey turned around to get another glass, being more mindful of the cabinet this time. Everything about this case angered her, but she didn't know what hurt more, the innocent workers at the plant, the little boy losing his only family, all of it? It was cases like these that hurt the most, where she watched people's lives be ripped to shreds all because some dude in power could make it happen to save his own ass.

"Here," Jay said, sliding her back a glass with what she could see was tequila.

"Thank you," she replied, taking a sip before deciding to hell with it and throwing the whole thing back.

To his credit, Jay said nothing, just filled her glass again. She opted to sip it this round, not in the mood to get drunk tonight.

"Wanna talk about it?" Jay asked. She started to shake her head before stopping herself. A little voice inside her told her to be honest about it all, that maybe this would be the step forward they needed. She never had a problem with telling Jay her problems before, so what's stopping her now, especially when it involved him.

"I keep thinking about that little boy," she said softly, looking up to find him watching her. "His entire life was torn to shreds, all because that dick was trying to cover his ass."

"It sucks," Jay agreed. "The best we can do is try to not let it happen in the future."

"But what if we can't? What if there is never an outcome where kids like him are spared, where the system does right by them for once?"

"We try our best," Jay repeated. "We go home, talk about it and think about the people who are safe."

Jay was right. Their line of work existed in so much grey area that it was so hard to tell what was right and wrong, where the boundaries lie. Even in the short amount of time Hailey had been in Intelligence, she saw where the lines blurred, and it was becoming harder to figure out the best thing to do.

"But something tells me that's not all that's upsetting you."

Jay's words cut to her soul, like a knife in the heart. He knew her so well, and just like he couldn't lie to her, she couldn't lie to him.

"It's been a year," she whispered, not needing to elaborate anymore.

"I know," he replied.

"Why?"

That was the question that seemed to hang over their heads. The need for answers was getting stronger as the what if's plagued her mind. She'd heard the stories, but she never thought it would be this hard.

"I don't know babe," Jay told her.

"We see so much pain, so much hurt, and the one time I want to do some good for you, for us, and it's impossible!"

She could feel the tears sliding down her cheeks, despite the urge to not break down and cry. This was never what she imagined, hell if her life had gone anything like she'd hoped, Jay would still be sleeping with her in their bed and she would be holding a baby that looks just like him in her arms. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

Before she could say anything else, she felt Jay's arms wrap around her, pulling her in tight as she cried, for them, for her, for everything that was so wrong and messed up that it wasn't letting her see straight. Hailey heard the whispered words Jay was speaking, his own attempt to help her, to give her some encouragement that it would all work itself out, that it would all be okay, but there was still that voice that was telling her something was wrong.

"What if it's me?"

"Hey," Jay said sharply, but not in a way that made her flinch. His hands moved to reach her face, tilting it upwards so she could see him through the tears in her eyes.

"There is nothing wrong with you, Hailey Halstead. You will be an amazing mother, and I will make damn sure that you have a chance to be one, okay? But it's late, and we're both exhausted, and this conversation isn't over but we need to sleep. When things die down, we will figure it out, okay?"

Hailey just nodded before tucking herself into Jay once more. The exhaustion he was referencing hit her then and before she could realize what was happening, she felt weightless as Jay picked her up. She just held on, letting Jay carry her to their room and tuck her into bed. As her eyes slid shut and she felt herself fall asleep, she felt his lips on her forehead, the whispered "I love you" and realized something that was confirmed when she woke up in the morning.

He never left.

* * *

"You good?" Jay asked as the walking into their house.

"Right as rain," she replied, rolling her eyes at him.

"Babe I had to drag you out of there, before you got drunker or punched Adam" he said. "And luckily you didn't say anything dumb."

"Like what?"

"Like maybe the fact we're married?"

"Hmm," she thought. "That is true. Still thought about punching Adam."

"Glad you didn't though," Jay replied, taking her jacket from her and hanging both of theirs up. The keys got tossed back into the bowl by the door as he kicked off his boots.

"I'm not sure why I did it," she mused, fumbling around in the refrigerator for another beer. "Cover his ass, I mean."

"Because we don't need any more problems?"

"True," she said, pointing her finger to emphasize her point. "You sleeping with me again tonight?"

That was the question of the hour, or the month, to Hailey. Ever since she broke down a few weeks back, Jay was finding his way back into their bed. Somedays she went to bed with him beside her, others she went to bed alone. It all seemed to depend on the emotions of the day, and this one was no exception.

"I guess I do know why I did it," Hailey said, completely forgetting her question and circling back in the conversation.

"Yeah?" Jay asked, finally grabbing his own beer.

"I can't blame him for why he did it," she said, looking up at Jay who was standing in front of her, leaning on the island like she was. "For what I said."

"What are you talking about?"

She was suddenly sober, or as much as she could be given the amount she drank tonight coupled with the emotions running through her.

"After we arrested Andre," she began. "We're talking to him and he was willing to let us arrest her, to charge her. He told us we we're doing him a favor."

"Favor for what?"

"Hell if I know," Hailey continued. "I may have said something, he may have called me a bitch and that's when Adam shoved and punched him. He was defending me."

"Not that you need it," he said, smirking at her. Hailey just smiled back before nodding slightly.

"It took me back," she whispered, knowing she didn't need to elaborate for Jay. "I guess I did it more for me, because I understand why, even if I don't agree with it."

"Adam's a little rough around the edges," Jay told her. "Grew up in Canaryville too, so I get it."

Hailey just nodded as she took another sip, looking back at Jay who was the closest he'd been in a long time, or so it seemed.

"What's with you Canaryville boys?" she said, smiling up at him while shaking her head. "Thinking you're all tough and mighty."

"Cause we are," Jay shot back, realizing Hailey was flirting with him and riling him up.

"You keep telling yourself that," she said.

She lost track of how long they stared at each other, almost like they were waiting to see who would break. She could feel her own resolve breaking, knew that he would end up in bed with her one way or another. Part of her wanted to throw caution to the wind and act on every impulse her body had, to let herself forget everything, even if just for tonight. There were still conversations to be had and things to be done, but for now, all she wanted was her husband.

Jay must have known where she was going with this because before she could make a move, his lips were on hers, bruising, unapologetic and every bit loving as Hailey would expect. Her free hand wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer while tangling her fingers in the short hairs at the nape of his neck. She felt Jay's own arm wrap around her waist, pulling her flush against him.

Part of this all felt familiar, so familiar as it should be, but the other part was different, like this was some suggestive fantasy that was forbidden to them. The excitement in that alone had her turned on even more than she thought possible.

At some point, she didn't know when, her beer disappeared and before she could process much else, her feet were no longer on the ground as Jay lifted her up. She felt her ass hit the counter and her hands moved to his flannel, unbuttoning it with such practiced ease while Jay's own hands snuck under her top, warm fingertips skimming her waist.

"Babe," Jay whispered.

"Not now," she replied, her lips finding his again. She pushed his shirt off his shoulders, letting herself shameless feel every crevice of his upper body. It had been too long since she touched him like this, and once again, the familiar yet different feeling returned in the best way.

Everything seemed to pick up: her shirt coming off and Jay's fingers skillfully unclasping her bra while she reached for his belt. The sudden mission of hers came to a halt as she felt his mouth nipping and sucking all over her chest, her head rolling back as the sensations overwhelmed her.

"Fuck," she whispered, the pleasure coursing through her to the one place he hadn't yet touched. If Jay kept this up, she thought, she was going to come from that alone.

"Hey!" Hailey yelled as his mouth left her body. She looked up at him, the sight of him shirtless in only his jeans, standing between her legs should have been obscene. The way his eyes were darker, filled with nothing but want as his tongue escaped his mouth to lick his lips did things to her. Jay didn't say anything as he grabbed her thighs, pulling her closer to the edge of the island before slowly moving towards her. She got the message, learning back until her bare back met the wood of the countertop.

Jay's mouth found her body again, his hands moving quickly to unbutton her jeans. Every single thing felt multiplied, as if this was the first time for them, yet the familiarity of their bodies sent them into autopilot, knowing exactly what to do and where to make the other experience every single pleasure.

It didn't take long before she was screaming from Jay's mouth on her and his fingers inside. Hailey had no doubt that she left marks on his upper body, considering that was the only thing she had to grab onto, but it worked in her favor, using the grip she had on him to pull him away and kiss him once more, not caring she could taste herself on his lips.

"Bedroom?" she asked, feeling him and needing to go for round two.

"Hell yes," he replied, his hands on her ass as he lifted her naked body to be flush against his own. It was Hailey's turn now, kissing the spot on his neck she knew drove him wild as he stumbled towards their bedroom, only letting go to throw her gently onto the bed, before continuing what they started in the kitchen.

The last thing that went through her mind that night was the fact she would once again wake up with Jay beside her, the only way it should be, and that was enough to make her believe that they could get through this, that they would get through this, and the normalcy she craved would return, hopefully better than it was before.

* * *

"Hailey?"

She heard Jay come in and yell out for her but she knew he would figure it out eventually when he heard the water running. He may have been only minutes behind her when they left, but she needed a shower after today. She laughed slightly, remembering his words from earlier, the light mood gone as she remembered why he said that.

He heart broke for those kids, and it shattered when she saw the look Jay gave her as he looked up at her after getting the kids out of that camper. Cases with kids hurt more now, and even though they had only dealt with around three since she started in Intelligence, every single one was worse that the last.

"Hey," she heard Jay say. She turned her head, spotting him through the shower door as he leaned against the door frame.

"Hi," she replied. Her eyes didn't leave him, watching as he silently undressed. It was an unasked question, one where the answer would always be yes.

She was rinsing the conditioner out of her hair when she felt the cold air enter the shower as the door opened. Just as soon as it opened, it closed, and she soon felt Jay's presence behind her.

It was quiet as they both went about their business, just content to having the other person beside them. Hailey was silently glad in times like this they decided to get the bigger master shower, among other reasons.

"How are you doing?" Jay asked her, his arms wrapping around her as he pulled her in close. Hailey's hands fell on top of Jay's, the water beating down on them as they just stood there together.

"Why do people do this?" she softly asked. "Why?"

"I don't know," he replied.

"I used to think I could handle these cases, that I could separate personal from work. But now…"

"Now it's harder," Jay answered. Hailey just nodded in response, her head resting against his shoulder.

She felt Jay's fingers trace patters on her lower abdomen, the sensation both calming and unsettling, a sharp reminder of something she wanted but didn't yet have.

"We need to do something, Jay," she said, feeling every wall inside of her crumble as she turned around to face him. "I know our jobs are hard and I understand everything that is at risk but damn it, why us?"

"I don't know Hails," he replied. "But we will figure it out. I promise you that."

She nodded once more, finally getting the courage to do something she should have done long ago.

"Jay?" she asked, looking up at him, her arms looping around his neck.

"I know," he cut her off. "Me too."

"We've both been guilty of it all," she told him. "I never should have said what I said."

"I never should have given you a reason to doubt me."

"So?" she asked.

Jay didn't say anything as he leaned down, his lips finding hers. It was a contrast from the other night, but perfectly fitting for the mood.

"I love you," he mumbled against her lips. "I'm sorry."

"I love you too, and I'm sorry, too."

Jay gave her a small smile, the ones she loved that he only ever gave when they were at home.

"We're quite the pair," she told him, smiling back at him.

"That we are, Mrs. Halstead," he replied, leaning down to kiss her once more. "That we are."

* * *

**Happy Wednesday! Hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! A little big of lightness before things pick up. **

**in case anyone (like me) wants to reference the episodes in this chapter, it's 5x02 - 5x05. **

**Once again, I hope this can bring a little bit of brightness to your days and everyone is well! This is as much of a distraction and pick me up for me as I hope it can be for you all! Until next week! **


	8. Chapter 8

"I hate these stupid things."

Jay laughed as he looked over towards his wife, struggling to pull out the plastic bag that encased both of their formal dress blues from the depths of their closet. He took a second from his vantage point in the bathroom to really look at her, watching as the short robe tied around her body creeped up her legs, giving him a clear glimpse at the underwear she was wearing. As much as he wanted to throw her onto their bed and have his way with her, he knew she would complain considering she had just finished her makeup and her hair.

"I'm just glad we don't have to wear uniforms every day to work anymore," he replied as he finished drying off. His shower had lasted long than expected, which was one of the reasons he could tell Hailey was irritated at the idea they were running late, but it was her fault, he told her. She was the one that was standing in their bathroom in the black bra and underwear set he got her for their last anniversary while he showered.

"You and me both," he heard her say as she laid their uniforms out. He made his way over as she took them out of the bag, separating them both until they laid beside each other on the bed. It was a strange sight to see, considering it was the first time both of them were attending an official event together. His eyes were immediately drawn to the one difference, their name tags. Jay had always known that she went by her maiden name on the job, especially considering she was already on the job when they met and got married. But it was weird to him to see it now.

"So, Detective Upton," he said, wrapping his left arm around her, pulling her close to him. "Got a hot date tonight?"

She laughed lightly at his question, loving the dork he was, but the laughter quickly died down as his lips began moving across her neck, the hand on her waist pulling at the lose tie that was holding her robe together.

"Maybe," she replied, her head moving back against his shoulder. "But only if he stops so we won't be late."

Jay didn't seem to care to listen to her, having already set his mind to his actions. Her right hand moved to grasp his right wrist that was still by his side in an effort to keep it from getting involved. His left hand seemed to have a mind of its own, his fingertips slowly moving down and under the satin of her underwear.

"Jay," she whispered, trying and failing to keep her body in control.

"This is a really sexy outfit you have on," he mumbled into her collarbone. "Such a shame it has to be covered up by these unforgiving uniforms."

"And it's going to stay that way later if we don't get dressed and leave," she said, her left hand yanking his out of her underwear, a groan of unsatisfaction leaving them both.

"Fine," Jay mumbled, stepping backwards. "As long as I get to take that off of you later."

"You will," Hailey said. "That's a promise."

She turned around to face him, pushing up on her toes to kiss him once more before pulling away, as much as she wanted to while her lips ghosted his own.

"We really need to leave," she said. "Especially since we aren't taking two cars."

They had decided earlier they would just ride together, the plan being to just tell anyone who asked that Jay lived close to her and had offered. It may have been a half truth, but no one had to know anything more.

"At least there will be free food and alcohol," Jay said, reaching around his wife to pick up his own uniform. "Probably one of the few times were allowed to drink in uniform."

"Easy there buddy," Hailey shot back as she got dressed herself. "We don't get the booze until after were off the clock. So, don't get too excited yet."

"Oh, I'm already excited, knowing what I get to do when I get home."

Hailey just threw the hanger at him which he expertly dodged. This man was insufferable, but she loved him anyways.

"Just get dressed and meet me downstairs, Halstead."

"Anything you say, Upton," he teased as she walked towards the bathroom.

The past month had been the best between them than it had been since Erin left. They somehow lucked out and got a weekend off and Jay had whisked her out of the city to head to their cabin, and both had been surprised that Voight had been okay with it. It wasn't a new fact that they were on thin ice with their boss, but they supposed it was a test. They hadn't caused an issue yet, or brought their problems to work, and Jay had been the one to bring up the fact that the only reason Voight didn't argue at them being out of the city for the weekend was that it was a new dynamic they were all getting used to. It was going to take some time.

The entire weekend was spent in their bedroom at the cabin, with the rare exceptions they ventured out for food. Normally it would have been spent out by or on the water, or on the back deck that was a work of art according to Jay, however both would say that they needed the time to just be together as Jay and Hailey Halstead if they wanted to get back to a sense of normalcy.

"Jay!" he suddenly heard, the voice far enough away that she had to be downstairs, which meant he missed her walk out of their bathroom. "We need to leave now!"

He shook himself out of his thoughts, quickly finishing getting dressed and pinning everything onto his shirt. He grabbed his dress shoes as he made his way out, but not before having to stop himself for reaching for his wedding ring out of instinct. That weekend at the cabin was the first time in a long time he had worn the band for such an extended time, and now he found himself reaching for it more than before.

"Do you have everything else we need?" he yelled down as he turned the light off. The "yes" he got in return had him hurrying down the stairs, spotting his wife instantly sitting on the couch.

"Jackets, guns and badges?" he asked as she rolled her eyes before nodding her head.

"Yes dear," Hailey answered sarcastically.

Jay laughed once more, glad that sound had returned to their house. Just like before, he stopped as he caught a glimpse of his wife, his attention his time going to her hand where the thin diamond band rested on her ring finger. While she had been wearing the simple gold band that doubled as her wedding band for the past few weeks, he wanted to do something as both a thank you and an I'm sorry. He gave her the diamond ring during their trip, and while she loved it, the part that meant the most to them was hidden from plain view. To anyone else, it may seem like a simple diamond band, but tucked under the diamonds were two sapphires representing both of them and their careers. He had told her it was a reminder of what she said weeks ago, that their marriage was the most important thing in her life, but their job came second, it had to when the job was as dangerous as it was.

"Stop staring at me," Hailey said, standing up to walk towards him.

"I can't help it," he replied, wrapping his arms around her to pull her close as he kissed her, knowing it would be hours before he could do it again.

"I love you," he told her softly, his hand moving to grasp her left one, his fingers playing with the ring.

"I love you too," she whispered back before kissing her once more. "Now we really gotta go."

"Yes ma'am," he said as he dragged her towards the door, the sound of her laughter echoing across the walls of their house.

* * *

The fundraiser dragged on and on, much to Jay's dislike. Normally he always tried to get out of these things, but it simply never worked. Add in the fact that Voight told them they didn't have a choice, then he really didn't want to be here. How Kim, Antonio and Al got out of coming, he would love to know. The only thing that made it bearable was that Hailey was here with him, and he would have made her come with regardless.

This was the part of the job he disliked the least: the politics. While he appreciated people supporting the department and the programs they had, having to rub elbows with major donors irked him. The speeches and presentations had been short and sweet, the food was actually decent and he knew as he stuck it out, he would have Hailey in that black satin set all to himself later.

By the time Ray Price finished speaking, they all dispersed throughout the room, Voight talking to some of the other sergeants there, Adam and Kevin off joking with other officers from the 21st while he stayed off to the side with Hailey. The talked about nothing in particular; Hailey was catching him up on a case she was working as he scanned the room for anyone, he felt he should speak to. He eventually spotted Adam and Kevin out of the corner of his eye, thinking maybe they were coming towards them, but instead they simply walked by, Kevin saying something about the Cowboys.

"You wanna roll?" Jay asked after a while. He decided he needed something to pass the time, and maybe he could convince Hailey to sneak out early.

"We're off the clock in ten minutes," Hailey said. "Unless you know another place serving free Chantal de Larocque?"

"Wow. You're really, umm, oh what's the word?" he began, suddenly deciding to try and flirt with her as he finished his thought. "Le snob."

That got a light laugh out of her, even as he knew she was making fun of his fake French accent.

"It's the Lake Forest in me escaping," she replied as he watched her eyes flick down towards his hand. He wanted to reach out and touch her, but there were too many eyes on them, their boss included.

"What? I thought you were from Greektown," he shot back instead, already anticipating her response. He remembered one of the first times he took her out to a steak house, and she had surprised him by ordering red wine so perfectly he was afraid he was out of her league. But the response she gave him settled his nerves somewhat and made him that much more intrigued about this woman.

"That's just a story I tell in bars," she answered as he expected, the smile and twinkle in her eyes telling him she knew what he was doing, and for his entertainment, he hoped she would play along. Jay really hoped she would play along with what happened after that date, but that would have to be continued at home.

He made some amused sound, trying to fight his own smile as he watched hers get bigger. It was one of the things he could watch her do forever, smile and laugh. It was always infectious to him. He could be in the worst of moods and she would always try and tell a lame joke to get him out of it, and it always worked.

"Just kidding," she replied, finishing her line in this foreplay situation they had going on. "We moved there when I was 11."

Jay was about to say something else in hopes of getting her to leave now, even if maybe two minutes had passed since his first remark, but he watched as Hailey's eyes found Voight across the room. He had been nervous just like she had, even if she didn't admit it, that Voight would be watching them, waiting for a slip up since they would be in looser boundaries and around too many higher ups tonight.

However, what he didn't expect was the man beside Voight to look back at them too, specifically at Hailey. He had caught Voight's eye, nodding slightly, but he soon focused on the rather awkward and terse look the other sergeant gave Hailey, all while oblivious to his wife as she laughed at something their boss said.

"You know that guy?" Jay asked. He had no idea who this man was, but he could only assume Hailey crossed paths with him before coming to Intelligence. That was one thing that made it easy to be married to another cop: when they worked different beats and in different units, there were always different stories to share at home over dinner. But he knew Hailey had her fair share of assignments, so he didn't try to pinpoint wherever she met this guy.

"Yeah, Sean McGrady. Sergeant out of narcotics," Hailey began, and he was quick to catch on that her body language was tense. "Couple years back I was assigned to his joint investigation. Good police."

Jay glanced over at the guy he now knew as Sean McGrady except this time he caught his eye. The other sergeant held his stare for a moment, and if Jay stood a little taller or tried to act protective of his wife, it was made apparent.

"She says with hesitation," he replied, not liking how this guy was under Hailey's skin.

"No, he is," she started, and it didn't go unnoticed to him that she was avoiding his eyes. "He's just…competitive, always looking for an angle. Drove me nuts."

All he could do was nod and stay silent. The brief and non-verbal interaction this guy and Hailey just had was enough to set her on edge. He knew she had issues before with other guys she worked with, and honestly, he couldn't blame them. His wife was beautiful, intelligent and as sharp as he was when it came to on the job stuff. She was easily one of the best there was, and he wouldn't even be biased about that. But he also knew there was a reason she wore her rings when they first got married, even if she didn't change her name or introduce him to her coworkers. Besides neither of them wanting to be tied to each other professionally so she didn't get shit about sleeping and marrying her way up, she didn't want to deal with the snide remarks when she brushed off other guy's advances or when she turned them down. Deep down, it made him proud that she was his and that she stood up for herself the way she did. Add that to the number of reasons he loved her.

"Okay are we off the clock yet?" he asked, wanting to get onto a different topic.

"Impatient are we detective?" she replied, tilting her head at him.

"Well yeah," he told her. "I have a hot date, and I've already gotten a sneak peek."

Hailey laughed at his lame joke, and by the way her eyes both lit up and darkened, he knew she was off of whatever McGrady brought up in her mind.

"Just let me use the bathroom and then we can go," she said but not before leaning in close. "If it gives you more of an incentive, I'm also in the middle of my cycle."

Before he could reply, she was gone, leaving him to process her words. Ever since they had talked it out a few weeks back, the task of getting pregnant had resurfaced, they had decided to give it just a little longer before they sought outside help. They both admitted that they had been stressed, and Hailey had gone on one tangent at dinner last week about how stress could lower her chances of getting pregnant. Now as things were reaching a new normalcy for them, they hoped maybe they would have better luck this time around. Hailey deserved to be pregnant, to be a mom more than anyone he knew, and he was making it his personal mission to give that to her.

She hadn't been gone for a minute before he saw Voight walking towards him, determination set on his sergeant's face. He spotted Adam and Kevin behind him, quickly heading towards the table they sat at.

"Shots fired about three blocks away," Voight said. "Find Hailey and get there."

That was all Voight said before he walked away, leaving Jay to frantically get their jackets and rush out of the ballroom. He tried to be as calm as he could as to not alarm the non-police guests, but he suspected it wouldn't take much before word got around at a police fundraiser.

As he exited the ballroom, he jogged towards the bathrooms. He spotted Hailey instantly, vaguely registering the guy that was walking away from her but that didn't matter right now.

"We got shots fired nearby. Active shooter," Jay said, running towards her, as he reached out to hand her her jacket. He heard her mumble "okay" before she fell into step with him, both running towards the exit.

The ride was quick, but it was long enough for him to process he wasn't getting lucky tonight, and that made his heart sink just a little for his wife, knowing they would be missing the chance this time around.

* * *

_Locker room. Now. _

The text he got from Hailey was concerning. At any other time if they were separated and she needed him to go talk to a witness or chase down a lead, she gave him the details. She was never a short text person, always one to provide the details. But the rare times she was to the point and vague, it meant only one thing: she was pissed.

He tried to wrack his brain for some recent moment where he could have pissed her off to warrant this unsuspecting message, but all he could think about was him almost making them late for the benefit. But even that, to his knowledge, wasn't one of the worst things he had ever done to make her mad, so he was at a loss.

Jay found her in front of her locker, forcefully throwing things into her black duffle. She didn't seem to hear him walk in so before he made his way to his own locker, he walked towards hers, leaning against the end as he crossed his arms.

"Hey," he said, hoping to sound casual. Hailey looked up at him, clearly startled but there was no anger in her eyes; if anything, it was annoyance.

"Hey," she replied before returning to her task, her actions softer now. "Voight called in McGrady."

"The narcotics guy?" he asked, remembering their conversation from the fundraiser. His question was answered as he saw Hailey nod her head and zip up her back. It was then that he realized he wasn't ready to go, so he let her be and retreated towards his own locker.

"The lead we got on a supplier is a major player, hence narcotics getting looped in."

She went silent, and Jay knew she was done talking about the subject for the time being. Short responses and silence were her tells when she was annoyed, and he had learned by now to not touch that if he wanted to live to see another day.

As he finished packing his own duffle, she came over and sat on the bench beside his locker, her hands braced on the narrow bench as she straddled it. He respected and appreciated that she wanted the closeness, and he didn't know what was ahead for him, and them, with whatever history Hailey had with this guy.

"You good?" Jay asked her as he finished gathering his stuff. She looked up, a spaced-out look on her face before she shook herself from whatever headspace she was in.

"Yeah," she replied, looking back at him. "McGrady is solid. Just not one of my favorites."

Hailey had to leave it at that when she heard her name, giving him one last look that told him they would finish this conversation later.

"You ready Hailey?" McGrady said as he appeared in the doorway. He briefly wondered who told him they would be here, and if McGrady hear what she had said, but he didn't bother broaching the subject. Some things were best left unsaid.

"Yeah," she told him, grabbing her bag as she glanced at him once more. "This is my partner."

"Halstead," Jay answered, and part of him felt both jealousy and pride swirling around in him. "Jay."

He knew something McGrady didn't, and it would be kept that way for now.

"Sean McGrady," the sergeant answered. "Let's roll."

There was no more room for further introductions as they headed out, Hailey following behind McGrady while Jay followed her. He reached out when he knew they were alone in the stairwell, his hand briefly touching her lower back, a subtle way to let her know he was there, he had her back, knowing that she needed him beside her right now.

"Well this seems like old times," McGrady said as they walked through the parking lot. He watched Hailey glanced up at him as he wondered more about their history exactly.

"Look I know we've had our differences," she began, trying to be civil. "But let's just focus on the job. Keep it professional, okay?"

McGrady seemed displeased with the situation, and it was taking a lot in him to not rip a new one at this guy that was making his wife uncomfortable.

"So, what do we know about Quinton Kane?" he asked from his place behind them. He had had enough and needed to insert himself into this conversation.

"Well, he's the main suspect in three homicides that I've been chasing," McGrady told them, even while all his attention was on Hailey. If he had to be stuck in a van with who was becoming one of his least favorite people on the planet, at least he would have his wife to serve as a distraction.

"We get close, but you know, no indictment thanks to the brave ASAs," he continued.

"You know what flag he flies?" Jay asked.

"Yeah, it's the 100 Syndicate," McGrady answered. "He has a couple of legit businesses too."

"Any priors?" Hailey asked while he stared ahead at McGrady.

"Yeah, two. Five years ago, agg battery, and then three months ago, DUI. Case still pending."

"Listen this is how I want to run it, all right?" McGrady continued. "I'm gonna take the main eye, Hailey, you handle the log. Jay, I want you to do stills and video because we want to prove it's an open-air market Kane's running, all right? Let's go."

He finished just as quickly as he started, and this time Jay did meet Hailey's eyes as he silently questioned everything that just happened. He understood now why Hailey disliked him so much, why he was both a good cop and a pain in the ass. But here they were and as he followed McGrady to the car, he hoped this would be over quickly.

The drive over was luckily painless and quiet, leaving him alone with his thoughts. While he would have chosen to sit up front with the guy in order to let Hailey have space, he knew they would stick out like a sore thumb, the image of two grown men driving a minivan in a rougher area of town would raise eyebrows.

He could tell without her having to say much that she preferred to be as far as she could be from McGrady, and he wished he could help her out. They didn't talk much when they got to their destination, instead going about their assigned tasks and commenting every once in a while.

There was one moment where he was close to losing it, but Hailey diffused the situation quickly, even if it got under her skin too. It wasn't even 30 minutes into their stakeout when McGrady posed the question as he tried not to look over at them.

"I noticed you no longer have a ring on your finger Hailey," McGrady had asked as Jay snapped photos. If he hadn't been so focused on his task, he would have shot the guy right there.

"Excuse me?" Hailey asked, the annoyance and anger in her tone apparent as the tension in the car rose.

"Just an observation," McGrady explained. "Marriages are tough on cops, so I wanted to say I'm sorry."

He could practically hear Hailey rolling her eyes, and he would deny he snuck a peek at her hand to find the diamond band still there. What an asshole, he thought.

"Not that it is any of your business," she began, her voice deadly calm. "But I am still married. I just choose to not wear my ring while I'm running after suspects nor do I need to risk losing it because my husband will have my ass, or buy me a new one, depending on his mood that day. So, if we can keep my personal life private, that'd be great."

The sarcasm was dripping from her, and Jay used the camera of the to hide the smirk threatening to appear on his face. He was proud of her for standing up for herself, knowing she could handle anyone and anything, and if the sheepish "sorry" that came from McGrady didn't satisfy him more, it definitely caused him to decide he would buy Hailey a newer, bigger, shinier, whatever the hell ring she wanted whenever she wanted it.

"There he is," Jay said, bringing them from their thoughts. He instinctively went to hand her the camera, but she barely had time to get her hands on it before McGrady spoke up.

"Can I, can I see it?" he asked, and once again he was left to bite his tongue.

"Oh, hell yeah," McGrady said moments after. "Yeah, the guy on the left, that's Quinton Kane. He's a stone-cold killer. The guy with him is Bernard Ward, AKA "Bay Bay"."

"That's the black SUV, just like the neighbor said," Hailey added. McGrady finally handed her the camera, allowing her a look at their suspects. One more second and he thought about ripping that camera from the guy's hands.

"Great," Jay said sarcastically. "Well I think it's time that we should have a little chat with Citizen Kane."

They didn't get very far as Jay's phone buzzed in the pocket of his jeans. Saved by the bell, he thought.

"Halstead," he answered, listening to Kim on the other end of the phone. "Okay, got it."

"The son, Ryan Hammond, he just ID'ed the shooter as a tall black man with some sort of dog tattoo on his right forearm," he said, barely taking a second between ending the call and relaying the info to them.

"Check the file," Hailey said, watching as McGrady grabbed what she was referencing. He quickly opened it, finding the photo they were after immediately.

"That's Kane, dog claw," he said. "That's the 100 Syndicate initiation tattoo."

"That's good enough for me, let's grab him up," Jay said, relieved that they were finally getting out of this van. Hailey opened the door without much of a second thought, her hand going to her gun as her eyes locked on Kane's figure down the block. He fell into step behind her and he could only hope this would go smoothly, knowing his frustrations on McGrady would get taken out on anyone that tried to run from them.

* * *

"Hails?" he said as he walked in the door. It was close to two am and he was exhausted after having to run point at the scene while Voight escorted Hailey away. He hadn't seen her since checking on her at the scene, once again wanting to do nothing more than pull her into his arms and hold her. But there were too many eyes on this, and they still weren't in the clear with their boss.

When she didn't answer, he hoped maybe she had fallen asleep. Her car was outside and the only lights on in the house were in the kitchen. The idea of food sounded good right now, but his body screamed at him to get sleep instead. They had to be up in five hours for work, so he would make sure they both had food in their bodies then.

Jay shut the lights off after grabbing a bottle of water, chugging it down as he walked upstairs. With his free hand, he checked his messages once more, not wanting to have missed anything and wanting to go to sleep the second he fell into bed.

He could hear the faint sounds of the TV the closer he got to their bedroom and he knew instantly Hailey was still awake, that her insomnia must have kicked in. He silently laughed to himself at the memory of when they first got married, when they bought their house and Hailey had been adamant that they would not have a TV in their room. That had lasted all of a week when both of them had caught the other in the den watching TV in the middle of the night.

"Hey," he said as he walked into the room, finding Hailey curled up in the middle of the bed, her head on his pillow. She looked up at him, a tired smile on his face. He didn't even bother to do much else, just pulled his gun off his hip and his badge from around his neck, setting them on his nightstand. He quickly stripped his clothes off before sliding into bed, his arm going to around Hailey immediately as she moved her head from his pillow to his shoulder.

"How are you feeling?" he asked softly, his eyes focusing on whatever movie was playing on TV. She burrowed herself into him more, her left arm coming to wrap across his bare torso.

"The shock and adrenaline wore off about an hour ago," she told him honestly. "But I keep replaying it all in my head."

"What did Voight say?"

The sigh that came from Hailey told him all he needed to know. He had a feeling when Voight left based on the look on Hailey's face at the time, that he had gotten under her skin. The man never gave them the benefit of the doubt, always held them all accountable, and at first it was irritating, Jay had learned over the years it was why his people respected him, and why the unit was as tight as it was.

"He all but implied it was my fault," she said softly. "I was early. If there was anyone that didn't wait, it was Mac."

There was an edge to her voice now, and he knew she wouldn't be sleeping tonight. Every part of her was wound up and her brain wouldn't shut off to let her get some much-needed sleep.

"I know it's late," he began after a few minutes, having needed it to gather his thoughts. "But I've gotta ask."

He heard Hailey sigh once more, her fingers digging lightly into his hip and the waistband of his underwear, almost like she needed to ground herself before she started.

"I already told you I was assigned to his joint taskforce a few years ago," she began. "It was right after we got engaged."

"Those few months you were working crazy hours?" he interrupted, feeling her nod against his chest.

"I was on patrol one night, pulled over a guy and found what we learned was fentanyl in his trunk. Turned out that he had been under surveillance by a joint taskforce. Narcotics and ATF. It was super quiet, which is why I never told you. I guess as a reward, my partner and I got offered a chance to work the investigation."

She went silent for a few seconds and he knew she was trying to filter through the memories and find the bits and pieces she wanted to tell him.

"I meant what I said about he was good police. Dedicated to the job, the cases, but he had his faults, every cop does. He went after what he wanted, even if he shouldn't."

He suddenly had an idea as to where she was going with this. McGrady's actions earlier making much more sense.

"I was one of three women on this investigation, and the other two were ATF agents. One of the other women, she was engaged too, but it didn't seem to matter that he always hit on us. He never did anything, just always made comments about how we looked and how we shouldn't think too long term with the job since we would get married and have children."

Jay could feel his blood boiling and as bad as it sounded in his mind, he was glad the guy was dead, because he wanted nothing more than to go and punch the guy.

"He always did his best to keep me from getting promoted," Hailey continued, her fingers tracing his hip bone. "It's why I never balked at getting meritoriously promoted as you said once before, because in the back of my mind, I knew that was the only way I was going to be a detective as long as he was around."

"I'm so sorry," he told her, turning his head to kiss her forehead softly. "I had no idea."

"I'm just sorry I never talked about it," she said softly. "I couldn't at the time of the case and after that, I made him an afterthought in my mind. Like I said, he never did anything, just believes women don't have a place on the force."

"That's the furthest thing from the truth," Jay said. "You're easily one of the best cops I know, one of the best detectives I've worked with."

He watched as she looked up at him, a sleepy smile on her face. It was one of his favorite looks on her, when she was bare faced and a hint of sleep on her features, a time when she was her most relaxed and open.

"You're just saying that cause you're married to me," she shot back, but the smile told him otherwise. He wasn't going to argue with her, because he knew she took the statement to heart, knew that he thought the best of her on the job.

"I'm proud of you too," Jay continued. "Don't let those kind of assholes get to you, and if they do, you can send them my way."

Hailey just laughed lightly before turning back to the television, her head moving lower until it was right over his heart as her arms tightened around his torso. He meant every word he said, that she was one of the smartest and sharpest cops he knew and had worked with. He knew she deserved her promotion more than anyone, and he felt bad he never knew about her past with McGrady. But he understood and could tell that she never took the man's words to heart.

"I love you," he whispered, kissing her once more on the crown of her head.

"I love you, too, Jay Halstead," she replied, turning around once more to kiss him lazily. As she pulled away, he reached up towards her face, his right hand tracing her brow bone and around her eyes.

"Try and get some sleep, please?" he asked. The look on her face told him she wouldn't sleep, but she only nodded, and that was enough to give him enough peace of mind to sleep himself. One of them needed to be ready to go in the morning.

"I make no promises," she whispered. "But it's easier when you're here."

That was enough for him, and as he drifted off to sleep himself, the only thoughts playing in his mind were those of his wife over the past few months, when he had actually been able to see her on the job. Even as they were somewhat living a lie to their coworkers, he wouldn't change a thing that allowed him to work with Hailey every day and see just how amazing of a detective she was, and how bright of a future ahead of her she had.

* * *

Jay could see what a toll this entire case was taking on Hailey. She was constantly on edge, not sleeping and he could see how much it was weighing on her that she couldn't do anything to help McGrady's family. Everything about the case was enough to give them all headaches: alibis and evidence that didn't match up, details about McGrady that was making it not look good for the man and Jay was still on edge about the money thing. He believed Hailey when she said she didn't lend him money and he was getting sick about hearing everyone's comments about Hailey, how it was partially her fault that McGrady was shot.

He heard what Voight said that night, and Hailey had retold the story later, but it didn't stop him from being bothered about what his boss said. Even when he never brought it up again and allowed Hailey to work the case, Jay still couldn't get the words out of his head. The longer they went without a solid lead or evidence that took blame from Hailey, the more nerve wracked he became.

The press conference was hard, and he kept his eye on Hailey as best he could. Once again, there were too many eyes. He couldn't go to her and hold her hand like he wanted to, trace his fingers along hers in that way he knew calmed her down. He saw her disappear shortly before the end, and before he could track her down, Kim asked for a ride back to the station. That had led him here, sitting at the kitchen island while he stared down at his phone to find the last text he sent to Hailey where he told her he loved her, and he was at home waiting for her. She needed space, and he respected that.

It wasn't long after that she wandered in, a look on her face he really only saw when something was nagging her. He saw it all the time during her time in Robbery-Homicide and it hadn't really popped up since she joined Intelligence. But he knew it well, and he let her be, knowing she entered a near catatonic state when she was like this. Jay did what he could, reheated dinner, made her a cup of her favorite tea and dragged her into the shower with him.

"The blood," she said suddenly, her mouth full of toothpaste as they stood side by side in their bathroom.

"What?" Jay asked, confused by her words and the vagueness of the context.

"Kane's blood," Hailey clarified after rinsing her mouth. "How could Kane's blood be on McGrady's gun when Kane had a verified alibi?"

Jay just shrugged, not really having an answer. That fact had bothered him too, but it didn't matter. Blood was blood and the fact that Kane's alibi was from a place he owned was easily overlooked.

"Anne said something earlier," she continued, tying her hair up into a bun as she walked into their bedroom. "That Mac was accused of stealing money from the program. The timeline lines up, it was around the time he asked me if he could borrow money."

"You think he was trying to extort somebody, and it went wrong?" he asked, positing a theory that made sense in his mind, but Hailey shook her head.

"Maybe but these two things are too weird. It just doesn't make sense."

They went silent as he watched Hailey change into her pajamas. He had to stop from groaning and making a move as she slipped into the thin tank top and shorts she considered pajamas. As much as he wanted her, she needed sleep more. There would be time later, all the time in the world, once this case was officially wrapped up and she could put this behind her.

"Get some sleep," he said instead, walking to turn out the lights. "And tomorrow go talk to the guy that accused him. Maybe we are missing something."

"We have to be," she said, slipping under the covers as he followed. "As much as I dislike the guy, I don't want to send the wrong person to jail for this. It's not right."

Even though she couldn't see it, Jay smiled, once again proud of the woman he married. She had a huge heart, even when it was carefully guarded at all time. If anyone could figure this case out, it was Hailey, of that he had no doubt. He just hoped it would pay off for her, that her instincts would be right. But for now, he just kissed her goodnight, told her he loved her and prayed she would be okay in the end.

* * *

She was gone the next morning when he woke up, clearly having either not slept or somehow beat him to waking up. A text was on his phone when he checked, having found that she left to go talk to the guy that accused McGrady of stealing money. In the meantime, Voight had asked him to wrap up the paperwork on the case, which meant it would be a long day staring at a computer screen.

Close to three hours passed when he saw Voight leave abruptly from the office, and his curiosity turned into something of suspicion when Hailey texted him, telling him she figured it out. He had put two and two together, assuming that whatever caused Voight to leave had to do with Hailey.

Thirty minutes later and another text from Hailey: _Meet me outside. My car. _Everyone was busy and didn't notice him slip out, and he quickly found Hailey's SUV next to his truck in the lot out back.

"Hey," he said as he climbed into the passenger seat. The first thing he noticed was the tension previously in her body was gone and replaced with some subtle nerves only he could pick up on.

"What did you find?" he asked, jumping right into it.

"McGrady planted the blood," she told him, and as morbid as it sounded to him, he thought he detected some elation to her voice.

"Explain," was all he said, allowing her to jump into this tale of how she found out McGrady had signed out evidence on the same day a vial of Kane's blood went missing from a previous DUI bust. She told him her theory that McGrady framed Kane for his own suicide, that she called Voight and explained it all to him. Everything seemed to line up, but the real question was whether or not they would disclose the information.

The answer to that came later, when she walked into their house after McGrady's memorial. Her eyes were red and swollen, likely from crying, and he didn't waste a second pulling her into his arms. Without saying a word, he pulled he upstairs, undressing her and all but shoving her into the shower while he hung her uniform up. It didn't escape him that they had worn these twice in the span of two weeks for two very different occasions. That was the life they led, he supposed. Sometimes it was for good, and other times not so much.

As he heard the shower shut off, he grabbed the comfy clothes he got out for her, passing them to her so she could get dressed. He told her he would be downstairs and would order dinner, knowing they had no food and neither of them would want to cook tonight.

Hailey appeared five minutes later, dropping down to the couch with a heavy sigh as she curled up next to him. With his right arm wrapped around her while the other played with her fingers, they sat in silence as he waited for her to speak. It didn't matter if she did or they were quiet the rest of the night; all that mattered was that she was okay, mentally, so they could go to work the next day and leave this shit behind.

"Voight apologized," she began, a sarcastic chuckle leaving her after. "Well kind of."

Jay remained silent, wanting her to get it all out first.

"He mostly wanted to know what we're going to do about the evidence. Either disclose it or it goes with us to the grave. And as much as I disliked the guy, Voight is right, its gotta stay quiet. If the media, the public finds out about this? It ruins Anne and the kids, and I can't let that happen. They already lost their father; I can't let them lose his legacy."

"Kane is still guilty for the other murders," she mumbled. "He's going away for that."

She was quiet, but Jay knew that there was something else bothering her, something that she didn't want to voice. If she wanted to tell him, she would, and if not, that was okay too. As much as she pushed him over the years, he did the same to her, but there were some things, some cases and topics that were best left to collect dust in the back of their minds.

"Am I a bad person for not telling anyone?"

Her words were so soft that he almost didn't hear them; he probably wouldn't have if her head wasn't resting on his shoulder, her lips close to his ear. Jay shook his head softly as to not jostle her, but then moved her off his shoulder, needing to look her in the eyes when he said these next words.

"Absolutely not," he told her, watching as tears gathered once more in her eyes. "You said it yourself, those kids already lost their dad. They deserve to have some part of his memory left, something they can be proud of. From what you've told me, McGrady wasn't perfect, but he was probably the best dad he could be to his kids. That's all anyone can ask for, especially in our line of work."

Hailey just nodded, a small smile crossing her face.

"You're going to be the best dad," she said, her words slightly shocking him at the sudden change in topic. "Voight said something earlier too, when we were still at the house, about how it's tough to raise kids on your own. Anne can do it, no doubt, but with this job I always wonder…"

"Hey, no," he told her, his hands moving to her face, holding it gently so he could really look at her. "I won't let something happen to either of us, okay? Our kids will have two parents that are there for them, that love them so, so much they'll be sick of us. I can promise you that, Hailey Halstead."

Even as he told her to not think about those things, it was constantly a thought whenever something like this happened on the job. Even with the topic of kids becoming harder on them with every negative pregnancy test, it didn't stop him from reassuring her and himself, that one day they would create the family neither of them had growing up, and he swore to do his best to protect them all.

One day it would happen, but for now, he was content to just be with Hailey. Maybe it was a silver lining right now that they hit a bump in the road, as this dynamic of them both working in Intelligence was taking some more adjustments than they expected.

He smiled at the laughter that left her as he pulled her into his lap, her arms wrapping around his neck as she looked down at him.

"I'm proud of you," he told her as she played with his hair gently, knowing it calmed him down just like when he played with her fingers. "You are my best friend, my wife, and the best detective I know. And one day, you will be the best mom ever. But it won't stop me from reminding you every day how much I love you and how proud I am of you, Hails."

Jay just watched her smile before she leaned down to kiss him. It was slow and lazy, exactly what they both needed to end this day. Once more, he thought how happy he was to just be here with her, and now that things were normal as they could be and they were finding their way in Intelligence together, Jay knew deep down that this was only the beginning. She had his back and he had hers, he trusted her implicitly and she trusted him. There wasn't much more he could ask for than that.

* * *

**Hi friends! I am so sorry to have kept you all waiting on this next part, but I certainly have not forgotten about this story! This chapter is the longest by far, so I hope it makes up for the lack of updates. **

**I do have the next few chapters mapped out in my head, so fingers crossed it is not months until I update again. This is by far my favorite of my writings so I can assure you I will keep working on it! Until next time, I hope you all enjoyed and everyone is safe and well! **


	9. Chapter 9

The sound of her alarm jolted her awake, even as her whole body felt exhausted and heavy. Her eyes felt swollen shut, a likely consequence from her crying herself to sleep. The memories of last night returned to her, and while she knew the answer in the back of her mind, it didn't stop her from rolling over to find Jay's side of the bed empty.

Hailey knew from the beginning that the whole night was a bad idea, and Jay had said so too. But her mom had nearly begged, and she supposed one night in a public place would be enough to satisfy everyone involved for the next few months.

How wrong she had been. They had barely been at the restaurant for ten minutes when her dad made his usual comments about how they didn't come see he and her mom enough, and how her brothers and their families put in effort to visit every month or so. The look on her mom's face was something of apologetic, knowing exactly why Hailey and Jay didn't come around as often as her brothers did.

It was when their salads arrived that he made a comment about her drinking. She had been two glasses of wine in, not caring to share about the shots she had done before they left. Apparently, she was drinking too much for a woman, and Jay's hand on her thigh was the only thing keeping her from strangling him.

Their actual dinner had been okay when Jay and her father started discussing how the Bears and the Blackhawks were doing. Hailey considered herself lucky she had married a guy as into sports as Jay was, because her dad always had some game on growing up, and she knew that hadn't changed to now.

But the worst was at the end when they paid the bill. Jay offered to pay, even if neither of them really wanted to, but it was another thing that would hopefully placate her father for now. She could have died right there when her mom asked the question, and even if Hailey wanted to kill her in the moment, she knew her mom meant it innocently.

"So, you've been married for almost five years," her mother had asked, and Hailey knew the next words that would come out of her mouth. "Have you talked about kids?"

She hadn't dared to look at Jay, not wanting to give her father any ammunition against them. But she never got a chance to answer.

"Your mother had Zachary after we had been married a year," her father had said, referencing her oldest brother. "You came before we hit five years."

She thought over her words carefully while her nails dug into Jay's thigh, silently telling him to say nothing. But her mother jumped in too soon.

"Is it work, honey?" she had asked. "Did something happen?"

She could feel the bomb go off at their table, the other patrons at the restaurant oblivious to the turmoil that was about to happen.

"This is why I wanted you to be a lawyer," her father said. "It's a safe, stable and respectable job. Much better than being a police officer."

"Dad," she began but he cut her off.

"You aren't getting any younger, Hailey," he told her, only causing her blood to boil even more. "Just do your mother a favor and have one grandkid for her okay?"

She was sure she was leaving bruises on Jay's leg, but she didn't care. The bill came at some point and Jay quickly signed it as he stood up, explaining to her parents that they had to run an errand before going home and the store closed. They seemed to buy the lie, neither of them saying anything more as she hugged them goodbye and they drove home.

Hailey pulled herself out of bed, shaking the thoughts of what happened when they got home from their mind. She blindly grabbed clothes from her closet, pulling on her jeans from yesterday and a black shirt. At the last second, she grabbed a green flannel, one that was probably Jay's if she was being honest, throwing it on the bed with her jacket as she made her way to the bathroom.

As suspected, her eyes were slightly swollen, but it was nothing a little makeup couldn't fix. She didn't need people wondering why she looked as bad as she felt, especially knowing Jay likely felt the same way. Despite his absence, the most recent text on her phone was from him, letting her know he was at the district already. It wouldn't surprise her if he slept there, and she knew they would eventually have to talk again.

Just as she finished getting ready, her work phone rang and the caller ID read her boss's name, eliciting a groan from her. It was too early, she felt like shit and was in desperate need of coffee, but duty calls.

"Upton," she answered, putting the call on speaker to give her a few extra seconds.

"Shooting in Randolph Park," Voight said without greeting. "Meet me there as soon as you can."

"Copy that," she answered, walking back to the bedroom to pull her boots on and grab everything else she needed. She started to hang up, but Voight's voice stopped her.

"Jay was the first detective on scene," he told her, and her heart jumped into her throat. "Any idea why?"

"Is he okay?" she asked, ignoring the question.

"Yeah, he's fine, but we own this case now. Again, any idea why?"

Hailey tried to come up with an answer that made sense, that wouldn't land them in trouble because they were having marital problems.

"He was meeting Will for breakfast," she answered, saying the first thing that came to her mind. She made a note to tell her husband and brother in law to get them all on the same page, not that they needed it.

"Okay," Voight said before giving her the address and telling her to meet him there as soon as she could. After the call ended, she threw her phone on the bed harder than anticipated, needing to get a little bit of frustration out. She shot off a text to Will before she left in an attempt to cover her ass. It seemed like such a silly thing to do, but knowing Voight, it could come back to bite them later.

She was out the door minutes later, texting Jay quickly to ask if he was okay. As much as she trusted Voight, she needed to hear it from Jay as well. The night before was setting in as she drove to the scene, and her slight guilt would only increase if Jay was hurt because they pushed each other away.

Their drive home last night was silent, the radio being the only sound filling the truck as they drove through the city. The restaurant had been a good 25 minutes from their house, but it seemed longer as the tension built between them. It was nothing bad, or so she first thought, more awkward than anything else. Jay knew to let her be after being around her parents, knowing she needed time to process the entire interaction before she could get back to reality.

The first thing she had done when they got home was pull her heels off, groaning as her feet were flat on the ground once more. She watched as Jay took their guns and locked them in the safe, something she forgot she stashed in the car along with his before they left. Her bag was left on the kitchen island, not caring about doing much else except washing her face and putting her pajamas on.

She had found Jay in their room, undressing himself and hanging his dress pants and jacket back up. For a moment, she just watched him, taking note of the stress he was harboring and the tension in his body. The evening had rattled him just as much as her, and she wanted nothing more than to go to sleep and forget everything that just happened.

Jay had turned around then, watching her from where she had stood in the doorway, a heavy sigh escaping him. His mouth opened and close a few times like he was contemplating what to say to her. He instead mumbled something about a shower and disappeared into the bathroom before she could say something.

Her mind didn't let her sit on that for long, as she arrived on scene quicker than she anticipated. There was yellow tape and cops everywhere, people she assumed were witness scattered near the building. She spotted Jay's truck instantly and parked behind it, but there was no sign of Jay or Voight anywhere. It didn't concern her yet, so she approached the nearest officer, asking what happened to give her some sense of background. She nodded her thanks before wandering off, making her first stop the ambulance feet away from Jay's truck where a woman was being treated.

She went through the standard procedure, getting her information and asking what she saw and heard. The process was repeated with other witnesses surrounding the ambo, all giving her the same information until she heard their voices. A quick glance over her shoulder gave her sight of Jay and Voight, her husband's vest hanging off his body. She quickly wrapped up her interview before turning around to head towards them. The tension and stress she saw the night before was apparent still, and the sinking feeling she felt inside her told her to keep an eye on him, that this one would be rough.

"Sarge," she said as she approached them. "We have a witness who saw our female victim running inside with a kid. She hid, heard gunshots, looked up and saw the offender running for an exit with a boy over his shoulder."

"Any sign of the boy?" Voight asked. She softly shook her head no, not wanting to answer that question as her eyes flicked towards her husband. Voight looked towards Jay, who looked back at the building he was just in. She could tell what was going through his mind, knowing he was questioning everything that just happened and what he may have missed, all that would no doubt end with him blaming himself.

"So, this is a kidnapping?" her boss said as he looked back at her. She gave her best nonverbal answer, not wanting to voice the answer out loud, because saying it would make it too real. Without another word, Voight turned and left, leaving she and Jay standing by his truck.

"You okay?" she asked, fighting the urge to reach out and touch him. She watched him nod briefly before stopping himself, almost like he knew she would catch him lying.

"Everything happened so fast," he told her, his voice soft in disbelief. Hailey knew they needed to get back to the district before he shut down, knew that if he started working, he wouldn't overthink the whole situation.

"Come on," she said softly, now ignoring the voice in her mind and putting her hand on his shoulder, pushing him towards his truck. "You head back to the district, I'll grab us coffee, okay?"

"I already got us some," he said, snapping out of whatever trance he was in to open his door, reaching in and pulling out a to go cup. "Figured I would have time before work after Adam woke me up at 7:30. Clearly I didn't."

Hailey ignored the piece about Adam as it clicked that he must have slept at the district, but she was grateful for the coffee right now.

"I'll meet you back there then?" she asked, her hand sliding down gently to his wrist. To anyone else, it would just look like two partners comforting each other, professionally on the job after something like this. The only reason she stopped at his wrist and not holding his hand was because it gave her a boundary, one she wasn't ready to cross, not when they hadn't discussed what was going on. The last thing she would ever be embarrassed about was her marriage, or Jay, and that wasn't what this was. They had finally just found a groove with working together, all while their colleagues were oblivious to their real relationship. She didn't want to mess this up so quickly, especially since Voight was turning a blind eye and clearly was unbothered by the dynamic. It would happen one day; they would finally tell their team and hopefully things could remain the same. But for now, she needed to focus on Jay and this case, and then there would be time to talk about everything else.

* * *

Her first clue that this was going to be bad was watching Jay analyze the footage over and over. Hailey was worried he would mess up his back from how hunched and tense his shoulders were, and it wasn't long until he fell into a pattern. Jay would watch the video, click something she assumed was a pause button, squint at the screen before zoning out. The set of his jaw told her he was determined, that there was something about this that was different.

The got a break when Voight sent them to get the dad. The drive over had been silent until she opened her mouth.

"What are you thinking?" Hailey asked, avoiding the personal questions altogether. Focusing on that would get them nowhere right now, and the feeling that this was a ticking time bomb was beginning to eat at her more and more.

"Something's off," he mumbled, but it was loud enough for her to understand him. "The movements, the weapons, it feels familiar."

"You said they used military weapons, right?"

"That's the other part," Jay continued, nodding his head. "We're missing something about them."

Before she could say anything else or remind him it's been barely two hours since they caught this case, Jay pulled toward the curb and parked the truck. The brick house in front of them looked too nice to belong to someone involved in dope gangs, but nothing was ever as it seemed in Chicago.

She followed him up the front steps, watching him as she pounded on the door. All it took was one glance at Jay for him to pry the door open silently. The house was eerily silent for someone whose kid was missing, and it made the hairs on her arm stand up. Their movements were quick as they split up, only for her to see Jay's figure come into view as they entered the kitchen.

"Keys and cell phone are on the table," she said, moving to check the backyard before walking back towards Jay. It was then that they spotted it, the opened box sitting on the island. The faint blood on the placemats made her stomach turn, her eyes locked on the box as Jay's gun tilted a flap down.

"Oh, God," she whispered as an ear was revealed, too small to be an adult and confirming what she feared. Despite all of the things she's seen on the job, Hailey was fighting the urge to throw up at the sight. She glanced towards Jay who met her gaze, the set of his jaw back before she glanced around the room.

She heard Jay call Voight, explaining what they found despite not finding the father. The called in the techs, knowing they needed to get as much evidence as they could and track down the father. As she watched the techs search the room, her phone chimed, alerting her to a text from Voight, explaining that Antonio may have a lead and they were needed back at the district. They were the last ones to make it back, and Voight soon appeared from his office.

"So, what do we got on the crew?" he asked as her eyes focused on Jay instead of Antonio.

"Well, these guys are trained, so I ran a query through the VA."

Those words were enough to haunt her as her eyes found a new photo on the board, a picture of a man in a uniform she knew well as it hung in the back of her closet.

"There's 350 soldiers injured with similar age, weight and burn. But only four of them live in Chicago. And only one matches this well, that's Luis Vega, 28, 1st Ranger Battalion."

She took a deep breath to keep her emotions in check, her attention finding Jay once more. She could only see his back as he sat on Kevin's desk and perhaps it was for the best. She didn't need to see the blank look she was sure appeared on Jay's face at the information.

"Luis got booted last year due to an IED injury," Kim explained. "Right forearm burned through. After he got out, he spent three months in South America on contract as security."

"AKA, he did kidnapping and ransoms," Jay added, turning enough so she could see his face, the blank look she suspected there, but just hidden that only she could tell.

"Yep. Height and weight match this guy to a T," Antonio added before Voight spoke.

"We got someone headed to him?" their boss asked.

"Covert car en route, we'll get eyes," Al said from behind them while Jay suddenly stood up.

"Okay, but what's the plan thought?" he asked, walking back towards the center of the room. "Cause we can't grab him up on what we got, and the odds of him talking are not good."

"Plus," he continued, her anxiety that was simmered suddenly growing. "If we spook the crew, we could get this kid killed."

"Well, that's why we get eyes on Luis right away," Voight explained before Jay cut him off.

"Or you put me under," Jay said, and if she wasn't standing in a room of officers and detectives, she would have shut her eyes, hoping that she didn't just hear what she heard. The second the military seed was planted in his mind, she knew deep down it was only a matter of time until it exploded inside him and she would be left to face the fallout as he retreated to a shell of himself.

It may have been the first military case she had worked with him, but she knew what they did to him. Nightmares for weeks, no sleeping for him and at times it felt like she was living with a hollow version of her husband. Sometimes he wouldn't talk more than a few sentences, but it often went away. Sometimes he just pushed it down, but she knew he was only doing so to spare her the added stress.

There was silence in the room after he spoke, almost like no one was believing what he said.

"He was a Ranger, we served at the same time. I can connect with him," Jay continued, all while Antonio began shaking his head.

"That's a bad idea, no. An undercover would only heat him up. We don't have enough info."

"That would be the point," Jay argued, and Hailey knew he wasn't going to lose this argument. "I'd get it."

Voight was the next to speak, asking Al his opinion on Jay's suggestion. The silent answer he gave was how Hailey felt inside, but nothing prepared her for what Voight said next, turning to ask her opinion.

She tried to look anywhere but Jay whose head turned around at the mention of her name. if she looked his way, she would see him silently pleading with her to let him do this, would argue with her that this was the best chance at finding the boy alive.

Before answering, she did glance at her husband, looking him up and down in the most professional way she could, her answer aimed more at him than anyone else. When she looked back at her boss, she could see that Jay had just won, and she would now be left to pick up the pieces when he eventually shattered, all while wanting to protect him from himself as much as possible.

Voight quickly gave orders, sending them throughout the district to get Jay ready. It was somewhat of a surprise to her that he put her in charge of Jay while he was undercover and maybe that would be for the best in the end.

Night came sooner than she wanted, and for the first time since they got the green light on this operation, they found themselves alone downstairs as she wired him up.

"Ruzek will log everything," she explained, even if he knew most of this already. Explaining was her way of taking her mind off it all right now. "I'll stick by you in the field and Antonio will be there as a second."

His fingers brushed hers as he took the mic from her, feeding the wires down his shirt while she adjusted the mic. Her hands found his chest as she adjusted the camera, finding some comfort in the warmth of his skin.

"We'll have eyes on you even if you can't see us," Hailey continued, noticing how Jay's eyes looked anywhere but at her until her fingertips lingered a little too long than was professional on his bare chest and her head was inches from his.

"Why the neutral?" he asked, the one question she was dreading. But she knew Jay, knew he would bring her vague answer up.

"Just been a little concerned lately," she answered honestly, trying and failing to busy herself.

"About what?" Jay asked like he didn't know the answers to that loaded statement.

"About you," she said, looking him in the eyes. "About us. You cover well, but I got eyes, Jay. You sure you're solid?"

The lack of an answer told her all she needed to know, but she could also see that he was retreating from this reality as to adopt his undercover persona. Before she could say anything else, she heard Kevin's voice, catching them up to speed on Luis and now, his sister.

"Let's roll," Jay said, as he started to move. Hailey watched as Atwater left, staying in place for a few seconds before her hand reached out, grasping his own for a moment. In the time while Kevin was talking, she shut the camera and mic off, needing a second with Jay and not wanting this to show up in the log.

"Hey," she said softly, her eyes shifting to find Kevin gone. "Please be careful."

For the first time since last night, Jay's expression softened, his hand squeezing hers lightly from where they were joined.

"I will," he told her. "I know you're looking out for me, but I'm okay. Just shocked at first."

Hailey tilted her head at him, deciding that he wasn't trying to lie to her. The worry and anxiety inside her would be there until they closed this case, but for now, she could only hope that he was really as okay as he sounded.

"I love you," she whispered, the words so soft that she wasn't even sure if Jay heard them.

"I love you, too," he replied, telling her that yes, in fact, he did hear her.

* * *

As the case went on, it was beginning to drain her. Not only was she having to focus on Jay being undercover, but she also had to keep her emotions in check around the team. She supposed it wouldn't be too out of the ordinary to appear worried or concerned considering she was his partner, but she felt like there was a line that she shouldn't cross.

Every word she heard on the wire worried her even more than the thought of Jay being undercover. For the first time, she was hearing a rather unsolicited version of what he went through during his time in the military. Over the years, he had told her, and some parts he glazed over, opting to give her a more condensed and censored version. But now, he couldn't do that, not if he wanted to sell this. He had to know that she was listening, but every word broke her heart.

Their last meeting pushed her over the edge, and it had now been about two days since she last saw Jay. She knew they were close, that it wouldn't be much longer until they closed this case, but the events of that meeting replayed in her mind.

"You want us to pull Marcus?" she had asked, confused as to his request.

Jay had explained his reasoning and while part of it made sense, she didn't want to risk it. There had to be another way.

"No," she had said, her mind screaming to let go of the charade. Voight was beside her, and he knew the true extent of her relationship. She may catch shit for this later, but she was putting her life, her marriage, her husband above her job, all for Jay's safety.

He argued with her, his eyes sharp. He was living on adrenaline right now, and he wouldn't be able to control himself if he kept going.

"It means it's too risky," she explained. "You're not seeing straight. You trust this guy, and you shouldn't."

There was confusion and disbelief in his eyes, like he couldn't believe she was pushing back against him, in front of their boss no less. But she didn't let it deter her as she continued, hoping she could talk him off the ledge.

"You went offline at the club, you punched a civilian…"

Jay argued with her more, trying to explain his actions away but she only pushed back until they were both interrupted by Voight. She didn't look over his way, not wanting at either man, because one would make her break and the other would make her furious.

Voight's agreement to Jay's plan once more made her furious. She tried to reason with him, but inside, she knew he was right. This was the only play they had. She had just hoped that maybe Voight would see what a toll this was taking on Jay. The older man turned and walked back to his car without another word, leaving her and Jay alone. She wanted to say something, but she didn't want to say something she may regret. She just looked at him, and she could feel his eyes on her during the short walk back to the car.

Antonio's words had startled her out of the memory she was living in, telling them all to gear up, that Jay was close to ending this. She had moved about silently, pulling the tactical gear on with the help of Kim, all while the nerves and anxiety bubbled inside her once more. As she laced up her boots, her attention focused on her ring, a distinct reminder as to why she was doing this. Hailey thought about asking Voight for a day or two off, just to get her mind back as well as Jay's, but she doubted he would let them. All it took was one ask, and she was out, and she knew Jay would never forgive himself.

From the moment they left the district to until they arrived at the warehouse, it felt like only seconds passed. The sight of the guy passed out in the SUV made them spring into action, only spurred on by the sounds of gunfire coming from the warehouse.

She moved quickly, falling into step with the rest of the team. The gunfire was deafening, the openness of the warehouse causing the distinct sound to echo. But nothing compared to the sound of Jay's voice screaming.

Hailey watched in near horror as Jay ran into the middle of the warehouse, taking ahold of Luis' limp body and pulling it to the other side. The gunfire soon stopped, and she cautiously made her way towards Jay, who was trying to revive Luis, but Hailey knew it already. He was gone.

"Jay," she said softly, not wanting to startle him, but she tried once more, a little more force in her inflection.

The second time she said his name, the unthinkable happened. His movements were quick, and she barely had time to comprehend that he had pulled his gun from his waistband and aimed it right at her.

She tried saying his name twice more, each more forceful than the last. The panicked look on Jay's face was beginning to scare her, even more than the reality that her husband, clearly out of it, had just pulled his gun on her. It was a split second when he snapped out of it, the realization settling and disbelief crossing his face. Hailey could see that he didn't realize what he did, and she didn't dare comment on the situation.

He looked back at Luis and his body collapsed, the adrenaline leaving him quickly as he looked at her and then Luis once more. She couldn't avert her eyes if she tried, the scene before her was unthinkable. All she could do was watch Jay hang his head, in shame, from exhaustion or from grief. She suspected all of those emotions were coursing through his body, not letting him process them all at once.

It took a lot in her to not wrap her arms around him, tell him he was okay, that she forgave him and she could be there for him. There was a flurry of activity around them as more officers arrived on scene, listening as Antonio and Al gave orders to the crime scene techs and paramedics around them. But her focus was on Jay who sat there on the ground beside Luis' body, and as she was pulled away, she caught Jay's eyes, finding the apology in them and she just nodded, letting him know it was okay, that it would all be okay.

* * *

Three hours. That's how long it had been since she and Jay left the district, and she was the one sitting in their house, alone. Hailey had called and texted but got no response, only angering and worrying her even more.

This was what she had been afraid of, that Jay would go off the rails and lose himself, and now, that was what she feared had happened. They had to talk, they had to lay this all out. It was more than the case and all the events along with it. From the second they left for dinner with her parents to the image of Jay aiming his gun at her, it made her reach her breaking point.

This wasn't new to her, or at least it didn't feel like it was. Part of her hoped that had left the struggles of being married and working together behind months ago, but this was a different level of worry and uncertainty that they had to adjust to now.

Hailey hated feeling unsure, especially where Jay or her job was concerned. Now, that both were causing her to feel this way, it was a new kind of panic and anxiety she never wanted to feel again. All she wanted right now was Jay, that was it. It didn't matter that they had argued most of the past week and that he hadn't been home during that time frame either. She allowed herself to feel like a vulnerable woman who didn't need to hide behind this badass detective mask. She needed her husband, needed him to hold her and feel his presence beside her, because that would help her move on so she could help him in whatever way she could.

Another hour had passed when she decided she was going to go to bed. The worrying would make her sick, and that was the last thing she wanted right now. She sent one more text off, hoping that Jay was reading them even if he wasn't replying to them. As she hit send on the last message, she made her way upstairs, slipping into bed and pulling Jay's pillow closer before she let the tears fall.

* * *

The sound of the shower woke her up and before she panicked too much, she spotted Jay's badge and jacket at the end of the bed. He came home, she thought, and while she had no idea what time it was, she was just glad he was okay.

Jay emerged minutes later and based on the steam escaping from the bathroom, he must have been in their for a while. He didn't say anything when he locked eyes with her, just went about grabbing boxers to sleep in and slipping them on. It wasn't long until he slid into bed, turning on his side to face her.

His hand reached out for hers and she gladly let him take it, still needed to touch him to tell herself he was okay and really here.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, looking into her eyes. "For everything."

"It's okay," she told him sleepily, using her free hand to reach out and touch his face. "It's been a crazy few weeks. We don't need to talk about it now. Just sleep, okay?"

Jay just nodded, his eyes closing as her fingertips trace the worry lines on his face. The sigh that left him was almost painful and cathartic that Hailey felt it in her soul. She was close to falling back asleep, content to have seen Jay even if for a moment.

"I was at Camila's," Jay mumbled, causing her to open her eyes once more. "I needed to apologize."

"For what?" she asked. There wasn't one part of her that was upset he was with another woman, but her confusion and concern lied with the why.

"She tried to get him clean, to get him help. And I got him killed cause I thought I could do it. I thought I could save them both."

"You aren't Superman," she told him. "But that right there is what makes you such a great person and a great detective. You care about the victims, and everyone who is affected. You have the biggest heart, Jay Halstead, and you should never apologize for that."

Despite the darkness, she could tell he was smiling at her. Hailey closed her eyes once more but not before feeling Jay pull her closer to him, his face buried in her neck as his arms hugged her to him.

"I love you," he told her, kissing her neck lightly while she whispered back to him, grateful that he was okay, despite the lingering worry inside her. There would be time to talk later, but they both needed sleep, and as she drifted back asleep, she couldn't stop herself from thinking this would be the turning point, and hopefully for the better.

* * *

**This will be split into two parts, and I already have the next part almost finished, so be on the lookout in the next day or two! **

**As always, I hoped you enjoyed and want to thank you for each and every review and comment. Seeing that you all love it absolutely makes my day and pushes me to keep writing! Love you all!**

**OH! And if there is a specific ****episode/scene/storyline you want to see going forward, let me know! I am not planning to cover every single episode in detail, except the more Jay/Hailey heavy ones, but I am always open to suggestions! **


	10. Chapter 10

It was slowly becoming a pattern, her waking up to find Jay gone. Most of the time he had woken up to go on a run, and she was grateful for the extra sleep. Her worries were minimal as he always made a point to leave a note beside her bed or in their bathroom, explaining where he had gone. Sometimes it was to the gym, other times it was meeting Will for breakfast. Occasionally he was just downstairs, and those mornings became her favorite, knowing he was close by and she could sneak in a few kisses before they had to go to work.

This morning the note just said he had gone to meet a CI and he would catch up later. Hailey didn't get much time to process it before her phone was ringing, but neither her work nor her personal phone. No, this one was coming from their closet where their UC phones were stashed. The caller ID showed the name of a woman she was working, hoping to get information on some drug ring in a nicer area of town.

The rest of the morning was rushed as she got dressed, calling Voight and texting Jay. She hadn't made much progress with the woman yet, but she was hoping that would change soon. Voight gave her the go ahead and she spent the rest of the time calling Jay, needing backup for this case.

At the last second, she reached for her ring, nerves spreading through her as she realized she had to wear it. Her current undercover persona was stay at home soccer mom, and to make it believable, she needed to be married. It was another reason why Jay was her second, because it was easy to play off that they were married if something happened. The nerves however bothered her. This was going to be the first time that she wore her wedding ring around Intelligence, even if no one else knew about it.

She was walking to her car when Jay replied, asking for the address and telling her he was on the way. A quick reply and a 20 minute drive later, she was parked at the soccer fields, searching for her contact. The case only escalated from there when the woman she was working slipped them and overdosed in her own home, her kids a room away. Without much warning, the case became high profile, the victim the daughter of a judge, who was a close friend of Voight. There would be eyes on this, and she was struggling to comprehend just how bad this could turn out.

It was back at the district when she almost slipped up. She was in the locker room, changing out of her "soccer mom" clothes as Jay called it earlier when Kim walked in. They made small talk, Kim asking her how her weekend was while she told Kim they should go out together sometime. Hailey was about to leave and start on the case when Kim stopped her.

"Hailey," she said, prompting her to turn back to the younger woman. Her gaze was fixed on her hand and Hailey's thumb instinctively twirled the band. "Don't forget the ring."

She just laughed, trying to play it off while her heart pounded in her chest. It was so familiar, so natural to wear it that she really did almost forget.

"That would be awkward," she replied, smiling at the brunette. "I'm so used to my other ring it didn't faze me."

The words were purposeful as her eyes were fixed on Kim. She was looking for something, some sort of reaction to see how well she and Jay were doing at keeping this quiet. Somedays she wished she could tell the team, especially as she finally felt like she fit in with this crew. But judging by the way Kim's head tilted slightly, she must not have noticed her everyday jewelry.

"I know the feeling," Kim said, and it was Hailey's turn to be confused. Did she know, she wondered, but before she could ask, Kim answered her silent questions.

"I was engaged a few years ago," she began, suddenly looking nervous. "To Ruzek."

"You and Adam were engaged?" Hailey questioned. Honestly, it kind of made sense because the two always had this weird connection, this pull that Hailey guessed was how she and Jay worked. She maybe would have guessed that they had a fling once or twice, but she wouldn't have guessed they were engaged.

"Yeah," Kim explained. "We ended it because we weren't ready. I was still on patrol and Adam was in Intelligence. It taught me a lot about dating a cop, and myself."

She paused, almost like she was thinking about her next words. Part of Hailey wanted to pry, wanted to know what happened, how Voight handled this, because it would put her mind at ease.

Since Jay's last UC with the kidnapping case, every day she woke up wondering if they should tell the team, because in her mind, it would take the burden off of them. This secret was beginning to affect their relationship, and she refused to burn their careers because of who they married.

"There were times when Voight questioned me, questioned us and our ability to do the job. I moved into Intelligence after we broke off our engagement and it took some adjusting to everything. But I think it made us better cops. It made us grow up, evaluate our priorities and what we wanted out of life."

Kim's words were exactly what she wanted and didn't want to hear. The only difference is she had done what she wanted to do in her career before she got married. There wasn't a whole lot people could throw at her, saying she slept her way up or got her promotions because her husband was in one of the most elite units. No, she knew she had done that all by herself, and she would do it all again, every single time.

"I never would have known if you didn't tell me," Hailey told her honestly. "But I get it. It's hard being a woman, especially in a place like this that is under a microscope so often. I've had my fair share of comments and looks, but I wouldn't change my career for anything."

"For what it's worth," she continued, looking Kim in the eye. "It's obvious you care about each other, and in a unit like this, when we see the things we see every day, it's good to have someone to learn on, to fall back on. Even if Adam isn't that person for you, sometimes that familiarity is better than nothing."

Hailey had been more honest than she planned, but it felt good to let someone in just a little bit. She didn't have lots of female friends, and she'll admit she felt a little intimidated by Kim when she joined. The other woman had to know that Hailey had been her temporary replacement, and when Erin left, Hailey had stayed. While she had never experienced it firsthand, she couldn't fathom how awkward it may have been to find out you had been replaced by someone who outranked you and got your job back because someone left. But Hailey also knew that they were part of a small group, and in a unit like this with crazy hours and no free time, even one girlfriend was better than none.

"Thanks Hailey," Kim said after a few moments. "It means a lot to hear you say that."

"I'm always here for you," Hailey replied before tilting her head towards the direction of the bullpen. "Let's go."

* * *

"Hello?" she heard Jay say, his voice laced with sleep. The ringing of a cell phone woke her up and she heard Jay groan as he got out of bed. Hailey started to fall back asleep but the sudden alertness in Jay's voice had her sitting up in bed.

"Slow down, what happened?" Jay said as he grabbed a pair of jeans from their closet and tugged them on. She just watched as he made his way around the room, between his urgency and sporadic movements, she was getting out of bed herself.

"No," he whispered, moving his phone away from her ear. "Hold on."

She paused, watching him as he wrapped up the conversation on the phone before throwing it on the bed. Her arms crossed as she walked towards him until they were inches apart.

"What's going on?" she asked. It wasn't like him to be this worried so it was concerning her.

"That was a CI," he explained as he reached for his gun, slipping it in the waistband of his jeans. She always gave him crap for keeping it there, but he always just rolled his eyes playfully at her in return.

"There was a shooting at a party she was at," he said, causing her heartrate to skyrocket.

"And she called you?" Hailey asked, confused and worried at the same time.

"She sounded scared," he told her. "She asked if I could come get her, said she heard shots being fired and ran."

"Jay she could be a witness," she tried reasoning, but she was too tired to really put any weight to her words.

"I know," he said, walking away to grab his hoodie and his jacket from its spot on the chair in the corner, where he threw them the night before. "Give me 15 minutes before you call Voight, please?"

Hailey felt he was slipping, that he was pulling away from her again. But his request for their help gave her some hope that he had his head on straight enough that she wouldn't be completely blindsided.

"Okay," she whispered, reaching out to him. He complied instantly, his arms moving to wrap around her body. No other words were said as he kissed her forehead and walked away, leaving her to get dressed too. Fifteen minutes went by and she found herself in their kitchen, making coffee and calling Voight. Jay had texted her the address in the meantime and she was out the door, two coffees in hand for both her and Jay, knowing it would be a long day.

It wasn't hard to find Jay at the scene and Voight arrived at the same time she did. He didn't say anything luckily, just led the way towards the space where Jay stood alone.

"Hey," Voight said as they reached Jay. "What's going on?"

Jay turned around to face their boss, a look of panic on his face. Something more than a shooting happened here, and the nerves she felt months ago returned in that moment.

"Female victim, two GSWs," he began before Voight cut him off.

"No, Jay. What's going on, meaning, what the hell are you doing here?"

She could have told him, but she just snuck a glance at Voight and around at the scene. It was Jay's CI, and she didn't know anything about who this girl was or why Jay was her first call.

"All right," he began, some confidence returning to him. "So, I was here, working a CI."

That wasn't the story, Hailey said to herself. Jay had been home in bed with her all night, so there must have been some reason for him to lie like that.

"What CI?" Voight asked.

"Camila Vega," he said, shooting a look at her. "From the Veil Club."

"The girl from the kidnapping case?" she asked, not being able to be silent much longer. It suddenly explained a lot, and while she wished it surprised her, it didn't in the least. "Luis' sister?"

Jay just nodded while Voight commented on this information, and she couldn't hide the look of disappointment she was sure was on her face.

"She on paper?" Voight asked, causing Jay to avert his eyes. She knew the answer before he spoke.

"No."

"Was the victim at the party?"

"Yeah, I believe so," Jay answered, trying to be nonchalant but Voight wasn't having any of it.

"You believe so?" he asked. "You been drinking. Anything else?"

Hailey couldn't believe the audacity, but she wasn't going to give Jay up now. There would be time later for her to yell at him, because she hated the position he had just, unintentionally or not, put her in.

"Just drinking," Jay answered calmly.

"Okay," Voight began. "Go back to the office. Don't talk to anyone, write up your IPR."

The mumbled okay that came from Jay was quick as he left, leaving Hailey standing beside Voight. She hoped he wouldn't question her, asking if she could back up Jay's story. The whole "don't talk to anyone" wouldn't apply to her, and she didn't care if Voight had a problem with that. She was pissed, borderline angry at what just happened, all of it targeted at Jay.

"Okay, work the body. I'll talk to homicide," was all Voight said before walking off, leaving her alone. She tried to snap out of it and focus on the job as she walked towards the covered body in the middle of the street. She asked the questions, listening as crime scene techs filled her in. She felt the headache forming behind her eyes, and she needed it to hold off for just a while longer. When they figured this out, she would gladly take a day or two off to nurse the migraine she was sure to get, but not right now.

* * *

Jay was nowhere to be found when she made it back to the district, but Voight didn't say anything, just asked everyone to go over what they knew about their victim. It only got worse when she and Antonio returned from the girl's apartment, the case getting stickier as the learned she was DEA.

It was close to noon when Jay finally reappeared. He didn't look at her as he walked up the stairs and she tried not to let herself stare for too long, just listened to Kim and Antonio explain their new leads. She gave her theory, once again not looking at Jay and listened to Voight's own input.

"Sarge, I know Alex. I met him through Camila," Jay said before she could say something else. She looked at him then, studying him to see what else he was going to say.

"So, let me work him," Jay suggested. "Make an undercover buy."

She felt Voight's eyes on her before he replied, giving Jay the green light while instructing she go with him. Jay only looked back at her, and she kept her mouth shut as she headed towards her desk. She didn't get far, with Jay pulling her back while everyone else was occupied. He pulled her towards the locker room, and to anyone else, it would look like he wanted to get their stories straight before tonight, but that was far from the case.

Jay looked around as they entered, making sure no one else was there and the doors were all shut.

"What the hell is going on?" she asked, her voice rising when she saw they were completely alone. Jay just paced, his hands on his head like he was trying to calm himself down and control his breathing.

Minutes felt like hours before he spoke, sitting them down in the middle of the locker room where no one could see them if they walked in suddenly. His hands found hers and she let him take them for the moment, needing the contact for the time being.

"I've been talking to Camila a few times these past few weeks," he began, his head looking down at their hands. "At first she just needed someone to talk to, and maybe I still harbor some guilt from it all."

"That's okay," she told him, because it was. She didn't want to be one of those wives who got angry or jealous when their husband simply talked to another woman. "What's not okay is you lying back there. I know you weren't at the party, so why did you tell Voight you were?"

"Too many people saw me," he told her, looking back up at her. "They were all high and drunk, so no one would be able to place me, but it sounded like the best option at the time."

Hailey just nodded, her hands leaving his to cradle his face. She didn't say anything else, just learned in slowly, her lips finding his. It was brief and tender and exactly what they both needed right now. But it was over as soon as it began, not wanting to risk being caught by anyone. Jay just smiled, silently telling her thank you as they got up and got ready.

The hours ticked by and before she realized it, they were leaving for the club. It was a big first for them, she supposed, going undercover together. Maybe Voight did it on purpose, but she suspected it had something to do with keeping an eye on Jay. Despite that, it felt natural and comfortable, so that was working in her favor.

What felt weird was watching the ease at which Jay navigated the club and interacted with Alex. It surprised her how nice Alex was, as her mind somehow expected him to be this lowlife that hit on any female. The conversation was fine, flirty even a little and she couldn't hide how much she smiled, even as the smiles were in reaction to the attention she was getting from Jay in the moment.

The girlfriend comment set her off, and the carefree mood inside of her was gone. Jay covered almost too easily and just like that the simmering anger was back. He managed to work the deal well, but she supposed karma was a bitch when she saw Jay get caught off guard at Alex's tip that Camila was selling too. The poor guy tried to back track, but it didn't work.

The icing on the cake was the mention of Jay sleeping with Camila. In that instant, she hoped there was some alternative explanation that would explain what the hell just happened. She couldn't be mad that the deal was a bust, because it was in the shadow of the anger that was growing and growing in her body.

She tried to shoot Jay a look, but he ignored her, continuing on this act of smooth-talking Alex in a way that, if she wasn't so pissed off, was a thing of beauty. That man could get what he wanted whenever he wanted it, a trait that served him well in their bedroom, not that she minded one bit. But right now, she did.

She inserted herself into the conversation, trying to make it known that they were a package deal. If it seemed like she was too possessive, it's because she was, but Alex paid no mind at all, just asked the necessary questions and then they were out of there.

Jay had to know she was simmering, that she was a bomb waiting to go off. She shoved the door open, the cool air meeting her in the face and she realized how hot she was in there, and it wasn't because of her coat and sweater.

"Did you really know that Camila was dealing?" she asked, not letting anything slip past them. Jay didn't answer her, just looked at her briefly and he wasn't getting out of this, not right now.

"We're gonna talk about this, now," she told him more forcefully.

"No, I didn't but I'm not surprised. That's why I've been working her."

The headache from before was back with a vengeance, and the pain only added to her silent fury.

"You're not working her, Jay," she argued, her feet stopping as she stood in place. "You're dating her!"

They were words she didn't expect to say, but that's exactly how she felt. This entire situation read like this, and she wasn't going to go off on him now, not when there were so many people around.

"And you got her on paper now," she continued before the next words spilled out without warning.

"You screwing her is a fire able offense."

She had no reason to believe this was happening, and part of her was trying to rile him up, to see what his reaction would be. It was wrong, she knew that, and knew it wasn't fair to Jay, but her emotions and actions were so far beyond being able to be controlled. Every emotion under the sun was going through her mind and body: anger, jealousy, disappointment, regret, and it was hard to control them all. Hailey wanted to think that it had been an act, that maybe when he was with her, he turned on the charm to get whatever information he needed. She couldn't be mad at him for that, because she had done that on more than one occasion. It was something that made it easier to be married to a cop, she supposed. They both understood the dark underbelly of the job, the things they had to do that went against their morals. But the one thing she knew for a fact was he had never slept or even kissed someone in order to get information. The Erin thing was different, and that was her own insecurities peeking out, but they worked past it and were better because of it. This, this was different, and those insecurities were back, and Jay was her only punching bag.

"And now she's mixed up in all this?" she continued. "What, are you gonna lie to the Feds next?"

"My relationship with Camila got us here," he shot back, his own anger coming out. "It got us the buy with Alex, who's gonna lead us to the shooter."

She chose her next words carefully, asking the question she didn't want to know the answer with. His silence was more than enough to make her assume the worst. But she could read his emotions so well, and she could tell he was trying to regain control and not explode right there.

"What are you doing?" she exploded as Jay walked away from her before turning back, assuring her he was fine, that they were fine. He told her they could figure this out as he laid out a game plan before her. She couldn't say all she wanted to now, not when they were so wrapped up with the Feds. The disappointment in him was real, and she let it be known. Hailey could see the toll this had taken on him.

"We gotta talk to Voight about this."

Her statement hung in the air between them, and that's when she saw it, the panic, the fear in his eyes. The redness surrounding his eyes was clearly from tears threatening to spill. That's when she knew, that everything Alex said was a lie. Jay was hating the fact that she had to hear all of that. She regretted her words moments earlier, but she saw Jay was beating himself up over what Alex said and implied inside. Maybe he had gotten a little flirty and that's what people saw. They didn't know who Jay Halstead really was, but she did. She could see the stress that was building inside of him, threatening to break the walls he had put up in the past few weeks.

"No, not yet," he pleaded with her, pleading to let them keep this quiet until they had a real chance to talk. A time when their anger had died down and the stress of the case was gone.

"Give me a few hours, please," he asked. She wanted to give him a chance to make this right, and she believed he could do it.

"A few hours," she said. "That's it."

Jay just nodded before turning to walk away not going very far until he stopped. Turning back around to face her. In an instant, her back was against the brick wall of the tunnel where his car was parked, his lips on hers. The kiss was bruising and hot in the best way, and she could feel the want and desire coming from Jay. She sighed as his lips made their way to her ear while he found the spot just below at the curve of her jaw, his leg wedging itself between both of hers, pressing into her just enough that the seam of her jeans was doing something to her body.

"I only love you," he whispered against her skin, biting down lightly but she was so turned on that the pain was eclipsed by the sheer pleasure coursing through her system. "There has been only one woman I have kissed since I met you, only one woman I have touched since I met you, only one woman I have been inside of since I met you and that is you, and, I promise you, that will never change."

His words could have made her break right there and his mouth found hers again before she could reply.

"I'd rather die than be with someone else, Hailey Halstead," he mumbled against her lips before pulling away, leaving her to stand there and catch her breath. He just looked at her, his eyes filled with lust and want, and she wished they were going home right then so she could have her way with him. The urgency in his voice, the pure desire told her all she needed to know about where they stood, and it didn't matter what anyone else said, she knew without a doubt that he was telling the truth. He always did and always would.

* * *

Even while the case went downhill from there, Hailey's faith in Jay never wavered. She could see he wanted to help Camila, because she was just put in a bad situation with no way out. Alex's confession that Camila recruited him only set off Jay, and she tried her best to keep him under control, but it was no use.

She was the one that followed Jay, recruiting Voight to tag along. It was better this way, she told herself, that they could get ahead of this and maybe prove that they could do this, even during the worst of cases. It hurt to hear Jay be gentle with this girl, even more to hear him say I love you. He was pushing her, for their case, and Camila needed to think he was on her side. Hailey knew Jay would try to help everyone, to get justice for their victim while making sure Camila didn't get screwed, despite everything she just admitted. She constantly felt Voight's eyes on her, but she never wavered, not once.

The only words that were spoken between she and Voight was to ask if they were really going to let Jay do this. As much as she hated it, Voight was right, this was the best chance at making this case. Before she knew it, they set a meet time, and everyone was in place while Jay was with Camila. They were so close; this was almost done and then she could breathe once more.

It went downhill in an instant. Jay was pushing too hard, and in a rare moment she slipped up, mumbling to herself as Voight sat beside her. The click of the gun was audible, and she panicked briefly but before she could react, she could hear punches being thrown and a door opening followed by the distinctive "Chicago PD" ringing through their comms. She and Voight were out of the car instantly, rushing towards the back door of the club.

She first saw Camila with the gun and her eyes soon registered Jay being held back by Al as she moved to cuff Camila. It was twisted in her mind that she felt a weird sense of satisfaction in arresting this girl, but she pushed it aside, her gaze trained on Jay who was breathing heavily, a telltale sign of the adrenaline rush he had to have been feeling. Camila tensed up, and Hailey could tell she realized just who Jay was.

When they arrived back at the district, she just walked past Jay, giving him the space Voight allowed but not wanting to wander too far. She could hear the bite in Camila's words, felt Jay's heart break a little. Antonio moved to get her as she stood off to the side, her eyes meeting Jay's before she walked upstairs.

Interrogations were routine until the bomb got dropped. Voight didn't argue with her talking to Camila, only asking that Antonio take the lead. Camila's story remained the same as what she told Jay at the bridge. But the game changed as she watched the woman lean across the table, her eyes locked on Antonio as she spoke.

"I was in the back room screwing your partner."

She had breathed out a laugh, any sympathy she had for this girl leaving in that moment. Throwing Jay under the bus would get her nowhere if she wanted a chance at a life. Antonio looked back at her before standing up, and all she could do was turn and walk outside.

They all met back in the bullpen, Antonio explaining to the others what she said while they waited for Voight and Al. Jay was nowhere to be found and it worried her as she stood by Kim's desk.

"What's her excuse?" Adam asked.

"She was screwing Jay," Antonio replied, the bitterness evident in his tone.

"Seriously?" Kevin said. "That's the best she could do?"

Antonio just shrugged and Hailey was glad they were leaving her out of it.

"How do we know that's not the truth?" Adam asked, and Hailey wanted to punch him right there. She stood in place, feet cemented to the floor as her arms crossed her chest. The guys talked back and forth, arguing over the believability of Camila's story. Eventually, Voight and Al reappeared, asking about Camila and Antonio repeated what she said once more.

"It doesn't matter," Voight said before walking to his office but before he reached it, Kevin spoke up, his question aimed at her.

"What do you think Hailey?" he asked, always trying to be the middleman keeping the peace.

"It doesn't matter what I think," she told everybody, no one hearing the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs.

"Someone accuses your partner of screwing her and it doesn't matter?" Adam asked. "Jay was at the party, had some kind of relationship with this girl, so how do we just dismiss that, act like it didn't happen."

"Because it didn't," Jay said, prompting all eyes to turn towards his, but he was only focused on one person: her. Instinctively, she moved away from him, turning her body so the rest of the team couldn't see her face.

"Hey man," Kevin said, trying to calm everyone down. "We didn't mean…"

Jay sighed before cutting Kevin off, looking at her once more before his eyes fixed on everyone else in the room.

"I'm only going to say this once," he said, his voice calm as he spoke. "I didn't sleep with her; I didn't even kiss her. Yes, I was working her as an unwitting and there were times when I flirted with her, trying to get some information. But it never went past that."

He looked back at her, silently asking the question that had been hanging over their heads. She only nodded in response; the motion so small it could have been more of a tick than an actual nod. But Jay knew, and he sighed once more before looking back at the rest of the team.

"I wouldn't cheat on my wife."

No one moved, everyone shocked at the revelation that just came from one of the most private people on this team. Adam looked embarrassed, as did Antonio, and Kevin and Kim looked like they would rather be anywhere but there. Only Voight and Al seemed unfazed, the latter not surprising her at all if he knew this tiny detail.

"You're married?" Kim asked softly, breaking the silence in the room. "Since when?"

Jay chuckled lightly, looking down at the ground before glancing at her. Hailey tried to shoot him a look telling him no, not to do this here and now. The idea of the team suddenly knowing terrified her, and they didn't need something to happen that got one of them transferred out.

"About four years," he answered as his eyes finally found hers. He read her right away, spotting the fear and worry she was sure was in her eyes. To his credit and to avoid further suspicion, he looked back at the team, shrugging like it was no big deal, because it wasn't.

"Seriously?" Adam asked, earning an eye roll from Jay as silence fell among the room.

Kim was the first to speak up, a small smile on her face as she spoke, congratulating Jay. Everyone else mumbled their own version, clearly still processing it all. Kevin was the next to speak, asking Jay who his wife was and why he never talked about her.

"I wasn't trying to keep it a secret," he explained. "She's also a cop and does a lot of undercover work so it was best for us to keep it quiet."

"You should bring her to Molly's sometime," Kevin said, to which everyone began agreeing. The nonchalant and easy way everyone seemed to suddenly accept this fact baffled her, but it didn't change her mind that she didn't want it known she was Jay's wife.

"Sounds good to me," Jay replied, but before anyone else could say anything, Voight interrupted them, asking how they wanted to proceed and wrap this case up.

They had enough to charge Wallace with murder, and Camila would be charged as well. Hailey felt Jay tense up, but she just squeezed his hand, grateful that she could now offer him some form of comfort when they were surrounded by the team. It felt like a weight was lifted off her shoulders and she could be herself, not having to hide or pretend anymore.

As they all dispersed to their desks and finish up the paperwork, she heard Voight call Jay into his office. Hailey had a feeling about what was about to be discussed, but she let it go for now. But with everyone distracted, she used the time to disappear, only one destination in mind.

There was a little relief at finding no one else in the holding cells for the evening, a rarity at a busy district like theirs. But it was a chance to say what needed to be said, to really see how Camila would react when no one else was around.

Despite having questioned Jay's faithfulness before, this time, she didn't believe a word anyone else said. In the past few months, even with all the bumps in the road, it only served to make them stronger. Whatever caused both Alex and Camila to say Jay was sleeping with her, it wasn't the truth, not for one moment. She also knew for a fact that Camila's so-called alibi was a lie, because she would testify without a second thought that at the time Camila claimed Jay was screwing her, he happened to be in bed with her, his wife.

As her eyes laid on Camila sitting in the cell, she felt a little sorry for her. From what they had learned and what Jay had said, the brunette across from her had been dealt a shitty hand. She was just trying to make things right, and to her, as illegal as it was, she thought recruiting dealers would make ends meet.

Hailey just stared at her, waiting and watching to see if she reacted. It didn't take long before she spoke, her gaze trained on the empty space in front of her.

"What's his real name?" Camila asked.

"Doesn't matter," she responded instantly. Her instinct in that moment was to protect Jay, but not from himself, but from this woman.

"Does to me," came a whispered response as Camila looked back at her. She saw the defeat in her eyes, the slight regret and she chose to oblige her, just this once.

"Jay," she answered, getting a small nod and maybe a hint of a smile in place of any words.

"You got lucky," she continued while Camila looked back at her. "Wallace confessed, you're off the hook for the murder."

A deep sign came from Camila, the pure relief settling Hailey's remaining frustration. It didn't matter though, she still had to be charged but maybe she could cut her a break since no one else seemed to except for Jay.

"But you will be charged with felony drug distribution, and more than likely, accessory to murder. However, if you cooperate, I can probably convince them to look the other way on that and help you out with that drug charge."

"What do you mean "cooperate"?" Camila asked, and Hailey knew she had her.

"Just keep your mouth shut about Jay," she began, hoping to call Camila's bluff. "He's a guy that came into your bar, asked questions. The night of the murder, you were at a party with a bunch of your friends, one of them was Ryan. Later, you found out he was a cop. No sex, no back room."

Even while she regretted it, she needed Camila to agree to this for Jay's sake. He was on record at being at the party when it went down, and she knew the potential consequences if they found out he lied. He slipped up for sure, but no one saw the struggles she did. No one saw how the case with Luis caused his PTSD to rear its ugly head, how the shooting a few months back played a role as well. Jay was trying, she saw that every day, and neither of them was perfect. But four years was a long time, and she wasn't giving up now.

But she was still hoping that Camila would admit to lying, to using Jay as an alibi, even if just to her. While she knew it was a lie, and now so did the unit, it still stung to hear those words spoken out loud. Her heart knew it wasn't true, but past relationships and insecurities didn't help his case. But she learned from their argument over Erin months ago, knew she needed facts before making judgements, and this time, like it should have been back then, she trusted Jay with her life, with her heart and her soul, and he felt the same. That was all that mattered to her.

"What, like I never even knew him?" Camila asked.

"You didn't."

Her words were ice, not wanting to tip her hand. There may have been a part of Camila that believed that maybe Jay, or Ryan as she knew, could have been her saving grace, and Hailey could sympathize with that, because that's what Jay was to her.

"You do that," she told her. "I'll give you a chance to have a life. You don't, I'll bury you."

Camila tried to hold back tears and failed. She looked defeated, and she was. But if she was smart, Hailey thought, she would make the right decision and stay silent.

"I won't say a word."

Good girl, Hailey thought. That was all she needed as she turned to walk away but Camila spoke once more, desperation in her voice.

"Like hell if I didn't know him," she said. "The person you know, that's the lie."

Hailey stared at her, a switch inside her flipping as she locked eyes with Camila.

"The only person lying here is you, not Jay," she said, her voice deadly. "I don't know what you have said, or what you have thought, but let me tell you something. Your alibi? Your claims that you were screwing Jay at the time of the murder? A lie."

"You don't know anything," Camila shot back, and for a moment, Hailey worried she would back out of their agreement.

"I know he wasn't there. I know where he really was when you called him, because I was right beside him, in our bed. So, don't you dare sit there and claim you were fucking my husband, or else our deal goes away and you get charged with everything."

She watched as Camila's expression changed, Hailey's words registering in her mind. Anger shifted to regret and fear, and Hailey knew her threats were useless. She wouldn't say anything.

"Jay is a good man," she continued, needing Camila to hear what she would say next. "He blamed himself for your brother getting shot, and he took it upon himself to make sure you were okay, that you were taken care of. I knew the entire time everything he was doing, because he believed that you didn't deserve to get the brunt of everything."

Hailey paused, her voice softening as she spoke again. Tears formed in Camila's eyes and she took a moment to let this settle in her mind before this woman was erased from existence.

"I am sorry this happened to you. But I'm not sorry for standing beside my husband, and I would do it all again in a heartbeat."

* * *

By the time she had made it back upstairs, she found everyone else gone and a sticky note on her desk from Jay.

_Went home, will pick up dinner on the way. – Jay_

She couldn't fight the smile, knowing she was hungry and exhausted. If one of them hadn't gotten dinner, she wouldn't have eaten at home. He conversation with Camila had drained her more than she expected, as did the weight of Jay's revelation.

Part of her was regretting not letting him tell the team, because she didn't expect the fear that followed the reality of everyone knowing. But at the same time, a small weight was gone from her shoulders. It was all that consumed her mind on the drive home, anxious to face Jay and not knowing how he felt about everything.

His truck in the driveway told her he beat her home, and only served to increase the nerves she felt. The logical side of her brain told her there was nothing to worry about, because this was Jay, the man she loved and married all those years ago. But her heart felt differently, a twinge of fear making its way in when she thought about all of the possible reactions he could have. Would he be angry, upset at her? Would he think that she was ashamed at their marriage, at him, and that's why she chickened out? There seemed to be a million different things going through her brain, but she knew she couldn't hide out in her car forever.

Every step towards the front door felt like she had weights strapped around her feet, but as she opened the door and found the lights dimmed slightly and the sounds of the song they danced to at their wedding, all of her fears went away.

"Jay?" she called out as she closed the door, setting her keys in the dish beside the front door. She didn't hear anything as she walked further into the house, the sound of the music becoming louder as she approached the kitchen.

Hailey started to say his name again but stopped when she saw him standing in the middle of the kitchen, a sort of déjà vu to the night she took the job in Intelligence. Except instead of finding Jay dressed up with champagne, she was met with the sight of the man wearing a light grey t-shirt and black sweatpants, smiling at her like she was the best thing he had ever seen. Being the dork he was, he would tell her she was exactly that.

"What's this?" she asked as she took her jacket off, throwing it on the back of the couch.

"Just wanted to surprise you," he told her, walking towards her until they were toe to toe. His arms slipped around her, his hands settling along the small of her back. He bent down as she rose on her toes, meeting him halfway for a kiss. It was the kind that was deliciously lazy, the kind she always savored after a long day like this.

As he pulled back, Hailey took a moment to look at him, taking in the look in his eyes. She wasn't sure what she was expecting, but she was pleasantly surprised to find nothing but love and calm staring back at her. Despite the intensity of the case and the things that were uncovered, Jay seemed to be okay, more so than she anticipated.

"This was some day," he told her, to which she only nodded. "So, I thought we could spend the night in bed. Just you, me and a pizza."

"That sounds like the best idea," she replied as he kissed her once more before moving back to the kitchen. Hailey watched as he moved around fluidly, taking a pizza box from the oven and beers from the fridge but as he held onto their two beers in his left hand, she spotted it: the black band that had been absent for so long. It brought a smile to her face at seeing something so visual that told the world he was hers and reminding herself that she was his.

"Nice ring, detective," she commented as she made her way upstairs, Jay following behind.

"I kind of outed myself today," he replied, and she was glad she couldn't see his face. She would have to face it eventually and, in that moment, it seems like her best bet was to just rip off the band-aid. Hailey didn't say anything the rest of the way to the room, only turning around after she entered. There must've been some look on her face that told Jay she wanted to talk about this right now because he set the pizza and beer on the small dresser near the door before walking towards her.

"I'm not upset," he told her, his hands reaching up to cup her face. "I'm not upset at all."

"Really?" she replied, hating how her voice sounded like a desperate teenage girl. But Jay just smiled and nodded.

"It was a long time coming honestly," Jay said. "I can't believe I hadn't slipped up before, but I couldn't stand the idea of them thinking I would have slept with her. Because I would never."

Her mind flashed back to months ago, when she was accusing of Jay doing exactly that with Erin. But she knew now her mistake back then, and how much she trusted Jay. She had apologized more than once since then, probably to the point Jay was likely annoyed, but this time around was different. This time, she didn't jump to conclusions or assume the worst, she asked and patiently waited for answers, which Jay had given her willingly and calmly.

"I know you wouldn't," she told him, her own hands moving to grip his wrists, her thumbs moving gently on the back of his hands. "But the sudden idea of them knowing scared me. And it's scaring me even more because I don't know why."

"It's okay, Hails. I promise it's okay," Jay reassured her. "Dropping that bomb on top of the one I did share today would have been a lot for them, trust me."

She laughed lightly at his joke, leaning into his left hand on her cheek, letting the coolness of his ring ground her a little bit.

"We do this at our pace, nothing more, nothing less. Voight knows, and for now, that's the only person that really needs to know, right?"

Hailey just nodded, mumbling in agreement as Jay leaned down to kiss her, this one so similar to the one they shared minutes earlier, but it felt more comfortable, more relaxed, and that was something she so desperately needed right now. A million other things were going through her mind, all different things she wanted to talk to Jay about with this case, but for now, they could wait. They were both exhausted: mentally, emotionally, physically if that was even possible, and Hailey wanted nothing more than a quiet and lazy night in.

"Are you going to wear your ring to work now?" she asked softly, earning a laugh from him as he pulled her into bed before leaving to get their pizza.

"Do you want me to?" he replied, and Hailey couldn't help but smile as she watched him mindlessly play with the object in question.

"Yeah, it'd be pretty hot to see you be all stern and cocky knowing you're off the market."

"Well then it's settled, Detective," Jay said, leaning to kiss her cheek as he rejoined her in bed.

"That's Mrs. Halstead to you," Hailey laughed as Jay gently nipped at her neck.

"Damn right it is."

* * *

**And that wraps up this storyline, but it's only getting started! Let me know what you all think and thanks for reading! Hope everyone enjoyed! **

**I'm hoping to have the next few chapters up soon to wrap up with the season 5 storylines, but don't hold me to it! Every single comment and review help me to write and it means the world! Til next time friends!**


	11. Chapter 11

The entire night had dragged on, but Hailey was grateful to be home now. Between Jay's moods, this case and Kim's words, she was ready to put it all behind her. Every thing stung worse than her thought before, and she wanted nothing more than to shut her brain off for the time being.

Despite everything, the entire drive home all she could think about was Jay. Hailey hadn't meant what she told him earlier, that he had to take therapy seriously or she would ask for a new partner. She knew the risks, she knew what was at stake in asking Voight to switch partners. Hailey also knew it would be her job that would be on the line here, should she ask for a new partner. But that would be okay, it would be okay if it meant Jay's mental state was better. The what ifs bounced around in her brain, and she had spent much of the time since she left the district wondering whether or not this was the right thing to do.

Even as she sat here on their bed, she worried, waiting for him to come home. He had texted her to say he was meeting with Voight really quick, and that alone also made her nervous. It made her wonder where his mind was now, was he actually going through with therapy or getting a new partner? Both theories made her mind spin and her heart hurt, for vastly different reasons. On one hand, she wanted him to deal with everything that had happened, but she also didn't want to him to be giving up his job.

She didn't have to wait much longer, as she faintly heard the front door open and close, followed by the telltale sign of the alarm system being armed. Her husband was a creature of habit, so Hailey knew how long it would be until he made his way upstairs. After he set the alarm, he would check to make sure the back doors were locked, make sure the lights were out and everything was put away.

For each second since he walked in the door, Hailey sat, anxiously waiting for Jay to appear. She was dangerously close to playing with her hair, a nervous tick she tried to stop but never could. Jay teased her about it all the time, had become so in tune with her habits that sometimes he could stop her before she even thought about it.

As the door slowly opened, Hailey sat up straighter than she thought was possible, eyes locked on the door.

"Hey," she said quietly as Jay appeared, eyes red and hollow. He looked worse than he did the night Camila had called him, when she spotted him outside that club.

"I'm gonna take a shower," Jay said, his voice hoarse and rough. "But then can we talk?"

Hailey just nodded as she watched Jay disappear into the bathroom. Before she even heard the shower turn on, she hurried downstairs, her mind focused on one thing. It didn't take long for the coffee to brew and for her to find the bottles she was searching for. She had been making this for years, or for as long as she had known and been married to Jay.

By the time she had returned to their bedroom, the bathroom door was just opening, steam filtering into the room as Jay stepped out, a towel wrapped loosely around his waist.

"Is that what I think it is?" Jay asked, nodding at the two coffee cups in her hands.

"Your mother's Irish coffee," Hailey said with a small smile. Jay retuned the smile as he walked to the dresser, digging out a pair of black sweatpants.

She placed the mugs on his nightstand and crawled back into bed. It wasn't long after that Jay followed behind, handing her a mug before picking up his own. Hailey expected silence to cover the room, but she had prepared for that, not wanting Jay to feel rushed of pressured.

Hours could have passed and she wouldn't have known but she was halfway done with her coffee by the time Jay opened his mouth.

"I went to the psychologist," he began, his words timid, almost like he was afraid. "Well I've technically been twice now."

Hailey didn't say anything, just let him continue at his own pace.

"I didn't say much the first time," he continued. "But this second time, it was a little better."

Jay sighed, taking another sip of the coffee, shifting to lean back against the headboard. Hailey just sat facing him, legs crossed as she listened and watched attentively.

"Did you mean it?"

His words were so quiet she would have thought he didn't say anything. But she heard him still, knew exactly what he was asking.

"Maybe," she replied, looking down at her nearly empty cup. "I don't think I would have followed through with it, but I knew you needed a shove."

"I didn't know what to think," he said. "I don't want to lose my job, or you as a partner, or a wife, or…"

"Hey," she interrupted, moving closer to him while her hand rested on his thigh. "I will promise you one thing right now. You aren't losing me. I promise that the day I signed our marriage license."

Her hand moved to his jaw, fingers scratching lightly at the stubble that had been growing there.

"I screwed up, Hails," he said softly. "I really screwed up."

"Yeah you did," she replied. "But you can fix it, Jay. You put in the work, focus on getting better up here."

She tapped his temple for emphasis, getting a small smile out of him.

"I will support you however I can, but you have to want this. Therapy doesn't work if you don't."

"Sounds like you have some experience," he chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. He knew she had experience in that area, and Hailey assumed he was only going through with it because he knows how much it helped her.

It was quiet then, Hailey simply watched as Jay took their coffee cups and set them beside the bed before getting up to turn the lights off. She slipped under the covers, facing his side of the bed. Despite the darkness in the room, the faint streetlights gave her enough light to see Jay settle into bed beside her, his arm reaching out to her, pulling her in close.

"I don't tell you enough how lucky I am to have you," he whispered, his breath gentle as it swept across her face.

"I'd say we're both lucky," Hailey replied, her arms wrapping tighter around his torso, turning to kiss the date inked on his side just below his heart.

* * *

The night was most certainly not what she expected at all. When they had invited her out to Molly's to celebrate Platt's birthday, part of her was shocked. Sure, she had been out with them after rough cases, but never something as personal for such a tight knit group as a birthday.

The thing that stopped her the most was Adam's fleeting words as she left to go home and change clothes, knowing Jay had an appointment with his new therapist after work and would meet her at Molly's.

"Why don't you bring your wife, Halstead?"

Hailey nearly stopped walking at that, wanting to hear Jay's response. She was far enough into the stairwell that they couldn't see her, but she was close enough to hear them.

They had talked it over a few other times since Jay's big revelation, wanting to make sure that despite the communications issue they have had as of late, they were on the same page with this. Eventually they reached a conclusion that they would wait a while longer to tell the unit, seeing as how at times they all still seemed baffled by Jay being married. The first day Jay had worn his ring to work had caused quite the fanfare, much to her amusement and Jay's annoyance, even if inside she knew he was bursting.

"I'll have to check with her," he replied. "She's probably getting off work now and I'm not sure how long she will want to be out."

"You said she's also a cop?" Kim asked, her voice soft, almost hesitant in her question. If Hailey had to guess, she could imagine a warm smile on the brunette's face.

"Yeah, she works out of the 16th," Jay told them. There was a hint of truth there, considering that was her old district, back when she worked in Robbery-Homicide.

"Isn't that where Upton used to work?" Adam asked and Hailey squeezed her eyes shut, hoping like hell they wouldn't make the connection.

"Yeah it was," Jay answered. "She knows who Hailey is, told me I was getting a great partner in her when Hailey transferred in."

There was silence in the room, echoing through the stairwell where she stood. A small smile crossed her lips at Jay words. He didn't deny anything, in every sense of the word he told the truth, but it was up to their coworkers to read between the lines.

"We want to meet the girl that tied you down, Halstead," Kim said, and Hailey had to laugh silently at the statement. If anything, it was Jay who had tied her down.

"I hear you," Jay told them. "One of these days, if she stops obsessing over work!"

She scoffed at the idea, knowing it was Jay who stressed more about work between the both of them. But his other words sunk in, how he wanted her, his wife, to meet the team. It was strange to think about, since Intelligence already knew her. But they didn't know her as Jay Halstead's wife, as Hailey Halstead, and that idea both scared her and gave her some hope. It felt like she was living a double life, that she was sneaking around with her husband of four years. But it shouldn't feel like that, Hailey knew that.

The conversation dimmed and she took that as a reason to leave and head home. By the time she arrived at Molly's, she had forgotten the conversation until she watched Jay walk in the door. He seemed anxious but hid it well on his face. His body told her a different story, one she would question when they were back home, together.

The night went on, and soon Platt was getting on the makeshift stage and grabbing a mic, while everyone else was added to the list of who sang next. Hailey tried not to think about how out of it Jay seemed, how his near somber mood stood out from the excitement of everyone else. What hurt more was the fact there was nothing she could do for him. Right now, she could not comfort him, ask him what he was feeling or even hold his hand. But instead of letting his mood bring her down, and not risk something else happening, she tried to let herself focus on the music and laughter around her.

As the song neared the end, she turned to Antonio, opening the binder with all of the songs sitting on the table they were at.

"You're next Antonio," she said. "How about a little Sinatra?"

"That's grandpa music," he shot back, causing her to shoot him a look of disbelief. "I'll find something."

"Seriously?" she asked, half hearing his response as she turned to Jay, trying to get him into the conversation.

"You understand the majesty of the Chairman of the Board, right?" she asked Jay, finding him zoned out once more. The way his body didn't react when she talked to him, especially as close as she was, told her he was really gone.

"Jay, come back," Hailey said, smacking him on the arm, causing him to jump a tad before turning to her.

"I wouldn't mind hearing a little "Summer Wind"," he told her, smirking at her in a way only she could pick up. He smiled behind his hand before facing the stage once more, sending her into a small dizzy spell as she processed his words.

He knew her well, of course he did. That man knew exactly what he was doing when he mentioned that song, and the smirk that followed. Even if he was trying to make it seem like he was okay, and while she knew it wasn't, it made her heart skip a beat.

Her mind flashed back to their first date, the best and last first date she had ever been on. After they had toured the aquarium and learned way too much about every type of fish in that building, Jay had taken her to dinner, to this old school type of restaurant tucked away in a hotel nearby. There was a guy singing that night, whose voice was so reminiscent of Frank Sinatra that she admitted to Jay that Sinatra was one of her favorites. Something about the old school feel to his music and voice spoke to her, it always had, reminding her of a time when things may have been simpler, when life didn't seem to tragic in the way she saw every day on the job.

Jay later admitted he was a fan too, recalling memories of his mother dancing around the kitchen to old jazz music with his father, before things got bad as she learned later. And since then, it had become a thing in their house. On nights they both had off, and had the time and energy to cook, Jay would start playing the classics while she cooked, distracting her often by twirling her around the kitchen. It seemed far more domestic than the life they lived, far more domestic than the life she ever expected to have, but Hailey loved it. It was a memory she thought about often, considering they had a lot of those moments, that reminded her of times when the world faded away and the pressures of their jobs weren't a crushing weight on their chests. It gave her a moment of peace when it felt like the world didn't exist except for Jay taking her hand and twirling her slowly under the soft lights of their living room.

Another hour had passed, and she was ready to call it a night. Luckily for them, their friends were slightly too intoxicated to notice them leave, and leave together, despite traveling in different vehicles, but as they stepped out into the crisp Chicago air, she reached out, tugging Jay's arm back towards her, stopping his movements.

"Hey," she said softly, her hand moving down to grasp his own. "How are you?"

She learned long ago to never ask Jay if he was okay when she wanted firm answer. Asking if he was okay always gave her a yes answer, even if he wasn't. But this question gave her some indication of how he was actually feeling.

"Exhausted," he told her honestly, and she could see it in his eyes. "All I want is a shower and to crawl into bed with you."

Hailey squeezed his hand lightly, staying silent and nodding yes, because there was nothing more she wanted in that moment either.

"I'll see you at home," she replied, moving to walk towards her car before Jay pulled her back. He tugged her into a small corner where very little light shown on the sidewalk before his lips were on hers, giving her the softest kiss ever before pulling away. It felt like it lasted both seconds and hours, and even in the dim streetlights, she saw the small smile on his face, and just like that, her heart fluttered, because maybe he would be okay.

* * *

"How's therapy going?" she asked after the silence started to become awkward. The small apartment they were currently in had walls that she felt like were getting smaller and smaller, and even if things were good at home, there was a small part of her that felt like they were walking on eggshells with each other at work.

Hailey caught his small tentative glance towards her, before finding the laptop in front of him to be more interesting. But she also caught the hint of a smile, if she could call it that, dancing across his lips, giving her some hope about whatever he was going to say.

"I never thought I'd say this out loud," he began, turning back to her. "But I actually kind of like it."

She finally smiled at him, and she was sure there was shock and delight on her face at his words. Above everything, she was beyond proud of him. It took a lot for him to admit something like that, and if they weren't in the middle of a surveillance operation, she would have jumped him right then and there.

"Wow, I am shocked," she settled on, watching the smile from earlier come back in full force.

"It's helpful," he continued, even as his attention was focused outside the building. "Finally dealing with some stuff that happened in Afghanistan, and Chicago."

"I'm happy to hear it," she told him, not needing to ask about the Chicago aspect of his statement. There had been a lot over the years, but nothing that compared to the past few months. Just when she thought he would catch a break, the ground opened up and swallowed him whole.

The sound of Antonio's voice coming over their radios broke her from her thoughts and made her focus back onto their current job. Over the next few minutes, everything went by rapidly, and despite the adrenaline that was spiking inside of her, she was glad to be here beside Jay. While she knew he felt like it was a punishment to be up here, she also knew he was glad to be back on the streets, to actually feel like he was contributing to the case.

Before she knew it, they were packing up to head back to the district and if they were both moving slower to prolong everything, to have a moment of peace doing something as mundane as packing up laptops and cameras. She was too preoccupied with gathering her things that she didn't feel Jay's hands on her shoulders until they squeezed lightly.

Her head tilted back then to glance up at him, smiling softly when she spotted his own smile. His left hand reached down to grab her own, pulling her up to face him.

Hailey watched his face intently, trying to get a read on him after his rather deep confession. She let her hand holding his loosen its grip, but she maintained the connection as her fingers began tracing his ring. Each day she saw him at work with it on, butterflies she hadn't had since they started dating returned. She imagined this was what everyone said the honeymoon phase was like, even when they never really had that.

"Remember our honeymoon?" she began, not entirely knowing where she was going but she loved the way his eyes flashed as he remembered it all.

"The week we spent in Wisconsin with no phones, no internet and no clothes?" he asked before nodding. "Yeah I do."

"We should do that again," Hailey said. "I know we keep saying we will take a few days and go up, but I'd rather it be sooner than later."

"I get that, but you know what will have to happen first right?" Jay said, and even as she nodded, the nerves she felt in her stomach at the idea countless times before felt smaller.

"I think I'm ready for it," she whispered. "I feel like I've got a good thing going with everyone and I don't feel like I'm Lindsey's replacement anymore."

When the words were out, she cringed inside, not knowing how Jay would react to the name of his old partner. But he just kept looking at her like he always did, like she hung the moon and the stars like he always told her.

"I'll tell you what. For our anniversary, I'll take you up there," Jay told her. "If we haven't told anyone by then, we will tell them the day before we leave. And if we have, well, we don't have to worry about it then."

She smiled before wrapping her arms around his torso, her hands gripping the back of the black hoodie he was wearing. Her head pressed against his chest as she felt his heartbeat and breathed in the familiar smell that was so him. It was an intoxicating combo to her, and she wanted to stay here forever.

Jay's lips pressed a kiss on top of the beanie she wore, and while she knew he would complain about fuzz on his lips later, it warmed her heart just the same. There may be a million things going on, but they still took the time to check in on each other. It was more important now, and she would try her hardest to make sure these moments didn't happen in between surveillance operations and questioning witnesses, or after cases and days were tensions at an all time high.

"I think that sounds perfect," she said, propping her chin on his chest to look up at him. The smile that came from him this time was the once she had been missing, the beaming, heart stopping smile that reached his eyes every single time. And Hailey swore she would fight for that smile every single day.

* * *

It wasn't normal for Jay to be home before she was; he was always the one who stayed an extra hour after everyone else to do paperwork or update files. Part of it was because he thrived on being ahead, on not waiting for things to be done at the last minute. But Hailey also knew that it usually followed a difficult case, ones where he needed other tasks occupy his mind.

It had been a tough ending to a hard case, but she had been the one that had stayed behind with Kim and Adam while everyone else had gone for backup. It was hard to hear about Brianna getting shot, but after Will had texted her saying she would be fine, and she decided to call it a night, worry set in that she hadn't heard from Jay.

She would admit to being surprised to see Jay's truck in the driveway of their house, but it made her worries ease a little, that he was here to decompress instead of being anywhere else. As she made her way in the door, the first thing she noticed was the sound of announcers on TV, a telltale sign he was watching some game. Jay was as fanatic as they came, and she remembered the day they moved in and the cable guys came, when she and Jay argued as to whether they really needed the best DVR so he could record every Chicago sports broadcast. She later caved to his request due to some rather skilled convincing from Jay.

Dropping her coat and bag by the door and slipping off her boots, she made her way into the family room, finding the Blackhawks game from who knows when and Jay laying on the couch.

"Hi," she said softly, causing him to turn around, a small and exhausted smile on his face.

"Hey," he replied. He watched her walked towards him, before she bent over the back of the couch, her hands wrapping around his shoulders, kissing him lazily. Jay broke it moments later at the sound of a buzzer came from the TV. Hailey was content to stand there, hands on his chest while her head rested against his.

"How are we doing?" she asked, her attention on the game as well. She could see the score, tied at 2-2 but she felt Jay shake his head.

"Like crap," he replied. "The game is last night's, we lost, so I'm not sure why I thought watching it would give a different outcome."

Hailey laughed, standing up to walk around the couch but deciding against it. Using Jay's shoulder as leverage, she swung a leg over the back before settling beside him, his arm wrapping around her to pull her closer to his side.

The sat like that until the game was over, and just like he said, the Blackhawks lost. The DVR prompted them as to whether they wanted to delete it, which Jay did, before settling back on the random channel they last had on. Some sitcom rerun played, neither paying much attention to it as Hailey felt herself falling asleep, but Jay shook her awake.

"You okay?" he asked as she opened her eyes, his eyes looking a much darker green from the dim lights of the house.

"Just exhausted," she answered, stretching her legs out from where they were curled under her. "Will said Brianna would be okay."

"That's good," Jay said. "The whole thing was a mess, and I don't know whether to be pissed or relived that we got the outcome we did."

"Yeah," she mumbled as silence fell between them. Her mind went back and forth as she debated broaching the subject, but they promised each other they would work on their communication more, especially where work was concerned when they brought it home.

"How are you doing?" Hailey asked after a while, turning to look up at her husband. Jay just sighed, his eyes focused on the TV for a moment before zoning out.

"I don't know," he said honestly. "It's days like this that I hate the most."

She didn't say anything, knowing exactly what he meant. Even before she joined the unit, she could spot days like this from a mile away. His Army days haunted him, and even as he had been out of the military for a few years by now, the memories still snuck up on him from time to time.

"Some days I hate that I can't shut the memories off, or that I can't flip a switch and not let my feelings and biases impact my job."

"It's because it's part of who you are," she interrupted, not wanting him to go down this road just yet. He needed to not bury it, but she felt he needed this reminder more. "No one would ever ask you not to be you."

Jay looked at her as she shifted in her spot, sitting up on her knees so she could look him in the eyes.

"I am so proud of you for what you have done for this country," she began. "And even if they don't say it, I know everyone we work with feels the same way. But no one would ever ask you to turn that part of you off. It's what makes you a great cop, and an even greater man, one I'm proud to be married to."

Hailey knew her words hit home, by the way his eyes softened even if his face was still blank.

"Don't ever forget that," she whispered, before standing up, her hand stretched out to him. He let her pull him off the couch and upstairs, pausing only to turn the TV off. Before they reached the stairs, he stopped, his hand pulling her back to him. His chest met her back as he kissed the back of her head, a silent thank you he needed to share with her before they went to sleep.

* * *

"Antonio's CI said 3:00, right?" she asked, after having looked at the clock on the dash for the tenth time.

"Yeah, which means 5:00, maybe 6:00 if we're lucky," Jay replied, sarcasm evident in his voice. Hailey could see he was just as annoyed with the whole time thing, knowing the man was a stickler for being on time.

"Aw, if you're looking for punctuality, don't date a CI," she said, quickly realizing her words were spiteful. "Or an Italian."

That end of her statement caused Jay's head to turn towards her, and she tried to cover her smile with her coffee, but she knew it wouldn't work.

"I dated a guy from Rome once," she explained, still smirking despite the annoyed look on Jay's face. But part of her wanted to have some fun with it while they waited around.

"The more I learn about you, the more I realize I have no clue who you really are."

That caused her to laugh, remembering when Jay said something to that effect years ago when they first started dating. They had gone out after shift one night; those had been the normal dates they had before getting super serious. Their insane schedules hadn't left them much time to actually plan dates, so whenever they both had a free night, they met at any bar that wasn't Molly's.

"Good. My plan is working," she replied, glad to have gotten a smile out of him. "Antonio's plan on the other hand, not so sure. Girls are tough to flip."

"Tougher than boys?" he asked, and she half thought he was joking.

"Way tougher," was all she said when she realized he was serious.

"So, women are more loyal than men?"

"Absolutely," Hailey replied, and it was then she could see the hesitance in his eyes, but he tried to play it off with the smirk he used on her all the time. A car horn had broken the spell, but Hailey couldn't shake the feeling inside of her. Something about this entire conversation had made her wonder whether or not they were actually talking about CI's.

The next hour was consumed with tracking the runner down and questioning and booking the others in that house. It wasn't until two hours later when she caught up to Jay again, wanting to know just what their earlier conversation was about.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" she said as they met in the breakroom. He nodded his head as he poured her coffee, and she looked back to see if anyone was watching them.

"Did I say something earlier?" she blurted out, the words escaping were not the ones she planned to say. And by the look on Jay's face, he was taken aback too.

"About what?" he asked as she studied him. His features were relaxed, his attention fully on her and for some reason, it made her a little nervous.

"Earlier, when I said something about women being more loyal than men," she began, not sure where to take this. "You had this look on your face, like you were unsure of something."

Jay was quiet, his own eyes glancing behind her before he sighed, softly shaking his head.

"Just me being inside my own head," he replied softly. "I guess after everything that's happened over these last few months…I don't know."

"Did you think I thought you aren't loyal?"

The words were sharp, but they didn't have the sting as the other things she had said to him since joining the unit. The blame and guilt immediately settled in, and she wanted to take it all back. They had made tremendous progress, learning how to work side by side in a professional capacity, and learning how the other acted and reacted on the job. She would admit that she misstepped and misspoke at times, and Jay had admitted the same, but now she wouldn't let it happened again.

"Jay," Hailey whispered, her right hand grasping his left one, letting the cool metal of his ring meet the warmth of her palm. "I do not think that about you at all, not for a second. Sure, things have been said, but I think we can both agree that this entire dynamic has been a learning curve, and I am truly sorry if I made you take a few steps back."

She meant every single word she said, squeezing his hand repeatedly throughout the exchange to let him know just how much he meant to her.

"I know, and I'm sorry too," Jay replied. "I guess I'm still making progress, and it's a learning curve, just like you said."

"We've both messed up," Hailey told him. "All we can do is learn from it all. We aren't the first set of detectives to be married to each other, and I doubt we will be the last."

"Maybe the last Voight lets into this unit," he said dryly, causing them both to laugh and smile.

"So this is how this communication thing works," he continued. The grin he gave her only caused her to roll her eyes, and she knew then that they were good. They always were.

"Yeah yeah," Hailey said, squeezing his hand one more time. "Get back to work Halstead."

"That goes for you too," he said, and Hailey was sure she failed to hide the blush on her face, catching the double meaning of his words.

* * *

Hailey watched as Jay walked into the breakroom, tension evident in his entire body. The case was getting to him, but in such a way that Hailey didn't quite know what to make of it. They all had cases that hit home, that made it harder to keep their head on straight. With her, it was always children and domestic abuse. With Jay, it was also kids and military connections. But this one was different, because he had been hot on this one before they ever brought Mark in, before they knew the backstory.

When she noticed everyone else was gone or occupied, she followed him, taking her half empty coffee cup with her as a ruse of needing more coffee. He seemed to not have heard her, his body not reacting until she set the coffee mug down on the table.

She supposed this had become a thing, quiet talks in the breakroom, one of the few places in this district where it wasn't odd to find them alone with each other.

"Jay?" she said as he turned around to face her, his body relaxing as his eyes really focused on her. "Talk to me."

Jay just shook his head, almost like he was trying to say not here, but as she watched him glance behind her, she figured he was probably just in a state of disbelief.

"They shouldn't be holding him," he said quietly, frustrating evident in his voice. "And not because he's Army and I've given him the benefit of the doubt, but because it's not right."

She had to admit she agreed with him on this, but the team didn't need two people going up against one. Her mind flashed back to a few months before, when the media had been all over Jay for Morgan's death, even before they themselves knew the facts. Jay sympathized with that, having almost lost his own job because of the media and misinformation.

"I know what you're thinking," Hailey began, taking a step towards him. "And I don't agree with all of it either. But right now, the best thing you can do is work to clear his name, make 100% sure that he is innocent in this."

Jay just nodded, his eyes trained on hers as she spoke.

"If you do that, we can go home and know we did our jobs in finding the guy who really did this, and by protecting Mark from losing his reputation," she explained.

"I get it," Jay said, the comment coming out of left field a bit. "Twice in my career, people with no knowledge of this job have tried to throw me under the bus, and I refused to sit by and do nothing. But I won't let it happen to someone else."

Hailey could do nothing but smile proudly at his words, once again proud of the person he's become. The Jay she knew when they first met may have been wise, but he was nothing like this. It warmed her from the inside out to see who he was become, to see the man, detective and husband he has turned out to be.

"You're a good man," she told him. "Makes me proud to call you my husband."

Her words were quiet as to avoid the wrong ears, but the smile and relaxed look on Jay's face made it all worth it.

"But, if this isn't a bad time to say this," she continued, her voice still low as it took on a suggestive and seductive tone. "I do have to say it's rather attractive to see you this fired up."

Hailey was deliberate in all of her motions, from the way her eyebrows raised to her pursed lips, and the way her eyes traveled up and down his body, slowing down in all the right places.

"So you better hope that we solve this quickly," Hailey said, her eyes meeting his that had taken on a dangerously dark hue. "For your own sake."

She slowly turned around, her features hardened like normal as she walked out of the breakroom, leaving Jay behind to full take in her words. It was hard not to smirk as she heard him mutter under his breath, something to the effect of her being a tease. Even as it may be a tad inappropriate to bring stuff like that up at work, it brought them back down from the adrenaline high, from the tension and stress that existed within their jobs.

Maybe this working together thing won't be so bad, she thought. There had been enough bumps in the road, and while some were rougher than others, they were still standing in one piece. If moments like what just happened were always there, then Hailey had no doubt they could handle this, even if they took it one step at a time.

For now, it was a dangerous game they were playing, a fine line they both had to try not to cross. She had to admit, at times it was fun and challenging in a way she had never discovered, and it brought about a different dynamic to their relationship. The only task was whether they could continue to navigate this the way they had been. One more hurdle lied ahead, perhaps the biggest one yet, and she knew it they could handle that, they could handle anything.

* * *

"Hailey!" she heard, causing her to curse silently as she rushed around the room. She was running behind and knew Jay would have her ass if she was the one that caused them to be late tonight.

"Two minutes!" she replied, hoping he didn't chew her out right then.

"It better be!"

Hailey glanced in the mirror again, taking a mental inventory of what she needed and what she had. Her jacket and gloves were downstairs on the couch, beanie was on the dresser beside her phone. So, all that was missing was…

"Damnit," she cursed, rushing out of the room to the walk in closet that was opposite their bathroom. Her feet carried her exactly where she wanted to go and before she knew it, she stood in front of the wooden jewelry box, the one that looked out of place with the white shelving and gold hardware of the cabinets. She couldn't help but smile as she remembered the person this jewelry box once belonged to, the one person she never got to meet, even if it seemed like she knew her all the same.

Her smile only widened as she saw the rings nestled in the small box, two stacked on top of each other. Without hesitation, she pulled them both out, sliding them onto her finger to rest against the ring already sitting there. Each time she put them on made her emotional, and maybe it had something to do with the fact that she didn't wear them every day. That would change soon, she told herself, it was only a matter of time.

"Babe we gotta go!"

"I'm coming!" she yelled back, gently closing the box before rushing out of the closet, grabbing her things on the dresser and heading downstairs to meet Jay. He had been waiting on this game all week, and she didn't want to be the reason something caused him to miss it.

Hailey took a moment as she reached the bottom of the stairs to look at him. It infuriated her how he looked so perfect in nothing but a hoodie, jeans and his black jacket. The man could look homeless and still look hot, she was convinced.

"Ready?" she asked as he looked up at her, giving her one of the brightest smiles she's seen out of him in a while. It made her heart flutter as if they had just started dating.

"Yes ma'am," he replied, choosing to not be subtle as he looked her up and down, stopping as he reached her hips. But it wasn't that he was staring at, but the jewelry she rarely wore that rested on her finger.

As his eyes met her, she was taken aback by his expression, but the confusion didn't last long as a smirk spread across his features.

"You're married?" he asked, and as much as she wanted to play along, she couldn't stop the laughter escaping her.

"Yeah, not to anyone special," she fired back, still laughing as a horrified look crossed his face.

"I am too special!" Jay exclaimed, even going as far as to stomp his foot a little.

"I mean you are pretty hot," Hailey listed off as she walked towards him. "Very caring, even for a stubborn detective. A neat freak, which is okay. But your aim could be better."

Hailey knew the last one would push his buttons, and she got the exact reaction she was hoping for. Without blinking, she was pinned against the island, Jay's lips hot on hers and greedy as hell. Not that she minded, because this was what she had been waiting for all week.

"We better go," she said as he moved to her neck. "Because as much as I would love to continue this, I don't want you pouting if we miss this game."

Jay sighed against her skin, his forehead dropping to meet her shoulder. She felt his fingers play with her rings like he always did, bringing her hand to his lips as he kissed the knuckle just below her ring finger.

"Won't be long until you get to join me in the club at work," he teased, and Hailey had to admit that each time he brought it up, the nerves she felt seemed to disappear a little more.

"Won't be long now," she told him, kissing him once more, only for it to be cut short as Jay dragged her out the door.

* * *

**Two updates in two days?! Hope you all enjoyed this very long awaited update! Only a few more chapters until the storylines of season 5 are wrapped up! Thank you all for sticking by me, it truly means the world! As long as you all are still reading and still loving this story, I will keep writing it! **

**As always, if anyone is like me and wants to reference the episodes, this chapter covers 5x11 to 5x17. And if you know what is coming next, I hope you are excited! **

**And on another note, only two more weeks until the show is back, so let's hope good content from there means more for me to write about! **


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